Family Ties
by Huddlesnumba9
Summary: Family comes to town, no real purpose, just for fun. And basically, several possible ways for Rachel to turn out. If Shore can bring in family, so can I.
1. Wilson's Encounter

_An: OK, this has been on my brain for a long time. Long before Bagage, and has undergone changes...about 5 times. This is what I have settled on, and if Shore is bringin in family, why can't I? Which reminds me, I don't not own House =( Stop rubbing it in you mean disclaimer._

Many nurses, patients, and doctors stopped what they were doing and looked in confusion at the young woman riding a skateboard through the halls of Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, and another girl running after her, "You're and idiot!"

"Stop ruining my fun!" She yelled back, and rode towards Peds. People around there heard the skateboard hit the wall, a thump, and, "_Shit!_" Not particularly in that order.

Dr. James Wilson was reading a chart and saw two people fly passed him, at first it didn't register, but then his head jerked up and watched in disbelief as the girls went down the hall. He pressed the button for the elevator, then took it down to the first floor. He saw a man in his mid twenties at the front desk, talking to a receptionist. His jaw dropped, and didn't even register that it was time to get out of the elevator. He saw that someone had pressed the button for the fourth floor and decided to stop at House's office first, Cuddy was obviously going to find out soon enough.


	2. Cuddy's Encounter

_An: Short, but this is how I want to do it._

Dr. Lisa Cuddy walked towards the Pediatric wing of her hospital. A nurse flagged her and started talking to her about some girls in the hospital. One on a skateboard, the other chasing after her. She looked where the nurse had been pointing. Her mouth opened and her eyes widened, "What the hell?"


	3. House Reunion

House had just walked into his outer office and was about to insult his team when Wilson opened the door. "Rob's here."

House's eyes wided, "Seriously?"

"House," Cuddy stood next to Wilson, "Junior's back." He just stood there, his team looking at the three of them.

"Where?"

Cuddy sighed, Wilson shrugged and opened his mouth to speak, but Cuddy interupted him, "Exam room in Peds." His eyebrows drew together and he cocked his head to the left. "They're all in there. Well, the kids anyway. I don't know where Jeff and Sadie are."

"Probably home," Wilson said. "I mean, the kids must be...No, the girls are late teens." House limped between them and to the elevator, his friend and girlfriend following.

"Wow. I haven't seen you move this fast in a long time." Cuddy looked at House.

He shrugged, "Haven't seen em in awhile."

"You mean 'Haven't seen _her_ in awhile'." Wilson mumbled.

House looked over his shoulder at him, "Shut up." The elevator dinged and he stepped out. "Which one?"

"Uh, hold on." Cuddy got the attention of a nurse, and House heard something about a girl, a skateboard, and falling. He smiled and looked down, of course that's why they were all in the exam room. "This way," she led the way to an exam room and pushed open a door to the girl on a exam table. She was medium height, light brown shoulder length hair, brown eyes, very pretty, about 20. And there was a girl standing next to her, her identical twin.

"Greg!" The girl on the table's face lit up. She instantly winced, her sister smirked, and held her head.

"Where is he?" Wilson asked.

"Fine Wilson," she said, "I don't want to talk to you either."

"Hey." Wilson turned around and saw their brother. Tall, athletic, sandy blonde hair, and very handsome. Pearly white teeth that he was showing off. Cuddy's jaw dropped. He chuckled, "Hey Lisa."

"And what am I?" Cuddy took her eyes off of him, "Chopped liver?"

"I'm sorry," she shook her head, "just," she looked back at him, "the last time I saw you, you were a teenager. And you two," she looked back at the girls, "you were like, 15!"

"And now we're dead sexy," the girl's sister shrugged, the girl on the table nodding.

"So," House looked at her curiously, then waved his hand in a circle, "what happened here?"

"She's an idiot," the non injured one answered seriously.

"Why are you always so mean to me?"

"I'm not mean, I told you not to skateboard in the hospital, but did you listen? No. No you didn't." The brother leaned back in his chair, and Wilson leaned against the wall, simultaniously smiling and crossing their arms over their chests.

"Well what did you want me to do? I went to Peds for a reason."

"To get banged up?"

"No you jackass, to make the sick children feel better. And how could you expect me to say no to him? He was so cute."

"Who?" House asked.

"Jake. He's eleven, and he loves to skateboard. Which reminds me," she jumped off the table, wincing, "I have to get back. Toodles." She opened the door, but stopped, "Wait!" She wrapped her arms around Wilson and squeezed him tightly, then did the same with Cuddy, then House, her sister following her lead. "Ok, see y'all later."

"I'm off to make sure she doesn't hurt herself anymore."

"Not doin a very good job," House told her.

"Well idiots know how to deal with idiots, the rest of us are at a loss and try our damndest to keep up with you guys," she said while she walked backwards out of the room, then smiled and looked were she was going.

"Yeah," the young man in the chair started, "they haven't changed since we left."

_An: OK, I'm curious, who do you think is who?_


	4. The Team, The History

_An: OK, the stuff before the the line is before the girls see House and Wilson and Cuddy, stuff after, is just that, and the flash back is an approximation of the infarction. Also, we find out who they are. So I don't have to do the annoying discriptive writing thing anymore._

Chase and Foreman were taking the elevator up to the fourth floor. It stopped and a pretty girl got in. She looked at Foreman for a second, then turned her back to them and waited for her floor. Chase checked her out. The jean shorts she was wearing showed off her legs. He was disappointed that the longish plaid shirt she was wearing didn't show anything off though. "You like what you see pretty boy?" He took his eyes off of her ass and opened his mouth, Foreman smirked at him. She looked over her shoulder at him, "Then you're gonna love this." The door opened and a girl that looked exactly like her, just in a less casual and revealing outfit, was waiting for her. As she was stepping out of the elevator she turned around and said, "If you want to ask one of us out, ask her." She shook her head, "I'd say no." Her sister smiled and they walked away, leaving Foreman smiling and Chase stunned.

Chase and Foreman walked into the diagnostics room and sat down next to Taub and Masters. "I kinda liked her." Chase said.

"Well she didn't like you," Foreman answered.

"Who?" Masters asked.

"I don't know, some girl in the elevator." Foreman told her.

"Some _hot_ girl with a twin sister." Chase smiled. "Identical."

Masters shook her head, "Ugh."

"Chase, I have a feeling that you won't be as pretty if you mention anything even remotely related to that to her. If you do ever see her again."

"I told you!" Foreman and Chase recognized her voice and looked out the glass door. "I _told_ you she didn't fire him!" The causal one told her sister.

She sighed, "I didn't say he didn't work here, I just said he was fired at some point."

She rolled her eyes, "Whatever. You said he was fired, and ya know it. Damn, he's not here." She sighed and looked into the outer office. "Hey it's your boyfriend." They gave flirty waves. The girl leaned backwards toward her sister and whispered, "I don't remember any of them."

"That's because they're new...No, wait, they were here when we came back those times. He was blonde."

"...No. Doesn't ring a bell." They seemed completely unconcerned with the fact that the team could hear them. "Whatever, let's go find them."

"Sounds good, let's check Lisa or Wilson's office first."

"Let's go." They walked toward Wilson's office. "It's rude to listen to other people's conversations." She said loudly.

"Yeah, I think you guys may have been around Greg too much. Nosy."

"Who do you think Rob is?" Masters asked.

"Don't know," Foreman answered, still looking at the paper and waiting for House to come back. "Maybe House went to college with him."

"He's in here." The girls walked in with Cuddy.

"OK," the one in the red plaid started. "I wanna know what happened here," she lifted up Cuddy left hand, the older woman sighed and rolled her eyes.

House took off his glasses, "...With her hand?"

"With the engagement," the one behind them told him.

"...We haven't been dating that long."

"No, you idiot." The one next to Cuddy said. "Her engagement to Dick Tracy." House looked down and smiled, Cuddy gave her a surprised look, and her twin tried to hold back a smile.

"How would you even know about him?" Cuddy asked.

"Well, whenever you and mom talk, I try to eavesdrop." She shrugged. "He came up a lot. Anyway," she looked back at House, "what happened?"

"I'll tell you later. When my team isn't listening in."

"Damn, I was right. They have been around you too much."

"Why are you always so mean to me?" He asked her.

"Because you act like a child."

"...Cuddy, tell your spawn to stop being mean to me."

She rolled her eyes, "I'm not her spawn."

"You might as well be."

"Children," her sister started calmly, "I wanna hear the story behind the empty ring finger, but he's not going to tell us. And I miss my Wilson dammit!"

"Then let's go," her sister waved out the door.

Cuddy closed her eyes and shook her head as she left, "You know, I think they're worse now than they were then."

House shrugged, "It's in the blood."

Cuddy nodded once, "Right. Well I have to get to work. See you later?" House nodded and she smiled before she left.

"They're gonna talk about this all day," Foreman announced as he opened the door, "who are they?"

House looked out into the hall and replied, "The product of spending way too much time here."

_Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, 1993._

_Cuddy was sitting at her desk, crying. She heard the knob jiggle, and wiped her eyes, but remembered that she'd locked the door, "It's locked." She heard a young voice say._

_"Good thing I know how to do this," it sounded like the little girl was talking to herself. Cuddy heard metal against metal, like someone was trying to pick the lock._

_"Who taught you how to do that?" The little voice demanded._

_A pause, "No one. I figured it out myself." The sound continued, "Ha! There," Cuddy's door was pushed open to reveal two identical girls about seven years old, one on her knees, holding a boby pin, the other walked in, shaking her head disapprovingly at her sister._

_"Oh," the little girl stopped in the middle of Cuddy's office, "I'm sorry."_

_The other girl got off her knees and stopped by her sister, "Why are you crying Lisa?"_

_"Lisa?" Her sister looked at her._

_"Yeah," the one that picked the lock turned and pointed back to the office door, "it says 'Lisa'."_

_"It also say 'Cuddy'." She said in a slightly 'Duh' tone._

_"Would you prefer I call her 'Cuddy'?" She asked in a sarcastic tone._

_"It says _Dr._ Cuddy, that's what 'M.D.' means."_

_"I _know_," she said, squinting her eyes a little and using the same tone from earlier, "Greg has that on his door too. You think you'd know that," she crossed her arms over her chest and looked back at Cuddy, "So_

_what's wrong with you?" This time her tone bored._

_"Shut up!" Her sister hissed at her. "Dr. Cuddy, are you OK?" She asked Cuddy in a quiet voice._

_The Dean let out a laugh at how weird this was, "Yeah, I-someone I know is sick."_

_"Us too!"_

_"Rob! Shut up!" The seemingly bossier one semi yelled at her sister. The sister gave her an annoyed look and looked back at Cuddy. "Is your friend going to be OK?"_

_"No you idiot," her sister, known as Rob said before Cuddy got a chance to speak, "if she knew he was going to be OK, then she wouldn't be crying. That's why we came down here."_

_"Can you ever think about just one thing at a time? You ask her if she's OK, wait for her to tell us the entire thing." She turned her attention back to Cuddy, "Sorry, I think she was dropped on her head as a child." Cuddy chuckled._

_"We still are children, moron." Rob rolled her eyes and asked, "So what's wrong with your friend?"_

_Cuddy shook her head, "It's complicated." Both girls sighed and rolled their eyes, and she could have swore she heard one of them mutter, 'Grown ups always think it's too complicated'. "So what can I do for you girls? I don't think you should be by yourselves."_

_"We came to ask you to take extra special care of our cousin," the more blunt one asked seriously._

_"He's really sick, we've seen you in his room, and you're in charge, so you must be the bestest doctor here."_

_"Cept Greg," the other one mumble, her sister nodded in agreement._

_"So, can you make sure he gets better?"_

_Cuddy stared at the little girls, but before she had a chance to say anything, Stacy walked in. "Girls, what are you doing here?" She looked really tired._

_"We came to talk to Lisa."_

_"_Doctor Cuddy_," the other girl corrected, irritated._

_"Whatever!"_

_"Your parents are picking you up soon, go back to Greg's room, sit with Don."_

_"Stace, no offense, but he was sposed to be watching us in the first place." The bossy one said._

_"Yeah, we didn't even sneak out, we didn't even walk out quietly."_

_"We announced we were leaving."_

_"But he was too busy staring at her," she pointed behind her at Cuddy._

_"Girls, go." They closed their mouths and started to walk out, but the blunt one turned around._

_"Make sure he gets better," she pointed her little finger at Stacy and kept her eyes on Cuddy, "or I'll make her sue you."_

_"And I think he said you'll be out of your biggest asset. I don't know what that means, but it sounds important."_

_"Make. Sure. Greg. Gets better."_

_"Rob," Stacy gently pushed her back, "go on. Sit with Don and wait for your parents."_

_"You mean Greg's alone?" She got a horrified look and ran out of the office._

_The laywer sighed. "Jessica," she said, addressing the little girl, "will you go wait by the elevators with her."_

_"She's not gonna wait at the elevators," Jessica shook her head and told her matter-o-factly. "She's takin the stairs."_

_Stacy's eyes closed, and Cuddy felt bad for her. "I'll right up, need to talk to Lisa for a second."_

_She looked up at her, then hugged her. Stacy out her hand on the top of her head. Jessica looked up at her and said, "Don't cry." Then walked over to Cuddy and put her hand on her knee, "You don't cry either." She smiled, "Your friend will get better. Promise." She held up her pinky, Cuddy smiled and completed the pinky promise. The little girl then ran out of the room after her sister._

_"I'm sorry about them," Stacy apologized. "I know they can be a handful. Greg's cousins. Little girls are crazy about him."_

_An: And now we know how they met Cuddy. And I'm just kinda making this up as I go along, some things I know are going to happen, but there aren't that many, so if you want something to happen, tell me._


	5. Lunch

_An: I've figured out what this story will be. A look back that shows how long House and Cuddy's chemistry has been evident, and how slow they really are. Also, they're there for the new episodes, just off camera. So weekly updates, sound good? And these next chapters are Larger Than Life, the last day Cuddy's mom is there. Which reminds me, did you guys see the promo and spoiler stuff?_

"They're gonna want to know everything," House told Cuddy as he sat down on her couch.

"Why do I get this funny feeling that they won't need much filling in?" She looked up from her file, he smiled.

"They're gonna want to meet Rachel."

"I got that funny feeling too."

"50 bucks says Rob comes over to your house tonight, and you'll knnow because you know her, and Jessica will call."

"I see know flaw in that logic. Please come over and help me distract them, they are a handful."

"I think I was coming over anyway, wasn't I?" Cuddy smiled and nodded. "And if all else fails, we'll wave Rachel in front of them."

Cuddy chuckled, "You're going to use my daughter as, what, bait?"

"No, a distraction."

"Either way, not good," she smiled and shook her head.

"Yet you smile."

"Well, too much time around you I guess."

"Now I know why she's mean to me."

"Yeah," she nodded and walked over to him, "but I can make it up to you." She kissed his cheek.

"No Lisa, you cannot have sex in your office!" Rob yelled.

Jessica looked at her, "Really, you have to do that?"

"Yes," was her immediate answer, "yes I do."

She shook her head, "Well, we came down to wish you a happy lateish birthday and ask if you want to go to lunch."

"And since you're going to tell us you can't, because of a budget thing, or something, we have come to tell you, that we are willing to let you work while we bother you."

"And we'll get it from the cafeteria if you feel like not being in your office."

Cuddy sighed, "You guys are still doing that."

"It's not even a twin thing," Jessica shook her head.

"Yeah, it's a, we know you, thing." Rob said.

"Alright, meet you in the cafeteria in 10 minutes."

"Great," House stood up, "you have plenty of time to buy me something for lunch." He nodded at Rob, smiled and they walked out of Cuddy's office. "So, what's going on here? You trying to beat Cuddy in a revealing contest?"

"Mhm," they stepped into the elevator. "And if I'm going to beat the defending champ, I have to go little or go home, and I live on the west coast."

The doors opened and they went into the cafeteria, "What are you guys doing here? You with your parents, or Don?"

"Neither," House grabbed a tray and started piling food onto it. "I'm here with Stacy." House dropped the ice cream sandwich he was holding. "Actually, I'm here with Jessica, and _she's _here with Stacy. I didn't expect to see Don." She looked at House's face, "Sorry, you still trying to process the whole, 'Stacy's here' thing?" She smiled.

"...Where is she?"

"Havin lunch with a friend."

"Why are you smiling like an idiot?" He demanded.

"Cause this is gonna be fun."

"How so?"

She giggled silently, "Come on, pretend it's not you in this situation, this is going to be so much fun to watch."

"Just for that, I'm going to get five of the most expensive things."

She waved her hand, "Be my guest."

"...Damn, I forgot. You're not Wilson, you don't give a damn how much food I make you pay for." She smiled mockingly. "So," he continued down the line, "what are you guys doing here?"

"Jessica's wants to be a lawyer," Rob answered. "Stace has some stuff to do here, Jessica wants to help with said stuff, I wanted to come see you guys. It's a win/win/win...win."

"Who's the fourth win?"

"Jessica. She gets to be ambitious, and she gets to see you guys."

House grabbed a drink, "You guys must be pretty happy to see her."

"Yeah," she shrugged. "No more than usual." House looked at her questioningly and put his food in front of the cash register. "We saw her last weekend," she explained and handed her card to the cashier. Rob put her card back into her wallet after it had been scanned and waited for House to sit down. Her face turned puzzled, "You didn't know?" House picked up his tray and shook his head. "Stacy, Stacy came to work for my dad...hell, 4 years ago? She moved to California, is the head of legal at my dad's company."

"I didn't know that," House sat both at a booth.

"Wow, she's pissed at you then."

"...She's, she's not..." Rob looked at him expectantly, "coming to pick you up, is she?"

Rob shook her head, "No, you should be safe at work."

House sighed and nodded. "How she been?"

"Good, same as always...We can get off this topic if you want."

"So how bout those Red Sox?" He asked immediately, making her smile.

"You didn't have to wait for me," Cuddy told Jessica as they walked through the clinic.

"I know, but I thought I'd give them their alone time, and I want to know about Rachel."

Cuddy smiled and pressed the button for the elevator. "She's two. She's adorable, lots of energy. You're gonna love her."

"I can't wait. So everything's been going good with work, hasn't been hard with the hours and Rachel?"

"A little, but I've been making sure I don't work as much as I used to."

"That's good," she said as the elevator door dinged open. They strode out and into the cafeteria. Cuddy pointed out House and Rob. Jessica slid into the seat next to her cousin and Cuddy into the seat next to Rob.

"So..." Rob started. "What's been goin on with this," she held up Cuddy's hand again.

"You want to start from the beginning?" House asked Cuddy.

"Of the crane accident?"

"You guys were there when the crane collapsed?" Jessica asked.

"Not when it collapsed collapsed." House explained. "Anyway," he put his hand on his heart, "I was being an outstanding doctor, caring, sympathetic."

"So business as usual." Rob said.

"Of course," House answered as Cuddy and Jessica rolled their eyes. "And Cuddy," he scoffed, "terrible, being so mean to me."

"How could you Lisa?" Jessica asked sarcastically.

"I guess I'm a bitch," she answered in the same tone.

"Well I'm glad you can addmit it Lise," Rob put her hand on Cuddy's.

"Anyway," House continued, "I was trying to be an adult, offered a house warming present, she freaked. We drove to the accident, again, I tried to apologize, be an adult, she told me she was getting engaged." Wow, that was a lot harder to say out loud than he thought.

"I don't approve," Rob stated.

"You're not the only one." House assured her. "Then, there was this thing that happened, and a patient died." He was not going to bring up Hannah in detail. "You guys know I'm off Vicodin," Jessica and Rob smiled, "yeah yeah, you're both very proud. Well, I went home and ripped the medicine cabinet out of my wall and got my stash out of the wall." He saw Rob's face fall. "Cuddy came." He really wished she wasn't here right now, it was weird retelling when she actually saved him. "Long long story short, she told me she dumped her fiance for me cause she loves me." House definitely did not like retelling that, it was just strange to think about it, not that he hadn't thought about it hundreds of times, but saying it out loud was different.

It took a second for what House had said to sink in, but once it had, the girls flipped. "Oh my god!" And squealing, were the first things, then came hugs. Rob wrapped her arms completely around Cuddy, and Jessica gave House a tight hug before grabbing his face and saying, "I am so proud of you!" before kissing his cheek.

Rob squealed once more before saying, "We win! You marry her!" She pointed at House. "You marry her right now!"

"Wait 6 months," Jessica said, her voice filled with as much enthusiasm as her sister, "if you two haven't killed eachother, marry her."

"Oh hell," a smile pulled at one corner of Rob's mouth.

Jessica looked at her, then realization dawned. "Dammit." She reached into her pocket and pulled out 50 bucks, slapping it into her sister's out stretched palm.

She smiled smugly and put the money into her own pocket, "Thank you."

"What was that?" Cuddy asked.

"Oh," Rob put her hand back on the table, "we had a bet. I said that you two would still hook up, she said that the engagement ended you guys for good. Now our bet is whether or not you guys will screw it up. My money's on yes, she has faith. Something about if you'd break off an engagement, you'll work twice as hard as regular couples."

"Well thank you for the vote of confidence," Cuddy told Rob sarcastically.

"Hey, I want you guys to work out, but your track record isn't so spectacular."

_An: Yes, they are fan girls =)_


	6. Really

_An: Wow, these are really short chapters. It's 620 words._

After much girly giggling, and 'I knew it's and 'I _told_ you's, Jessica went back to Cuddy's office with her to help file and whatever else she needed done that didn't require Cuddy to do it, and Rob, well, she went up to House's office to do the exact opposite of that. "Wipe that annoying smile off your face," he told her as they made their way down the hall.

"Nope." She smiled even wider at him. Then she started singing 'I knew it' quietly. "By the way, ran into Lisa's mother."

"Oh god," he pushed open his office door. "What the hell did you say to her that's going to bite _me_ in the ass?"

"Nothing," she sat down in a chair across from him.

"Really?"

"Really. Just said hi, we met awhile ago." She smiled, "Asked her about the clinic thing you told me about."

_Earlier that day_

_"No Rob, you cannot play Shots, even the clean version, in the Pediatric ward." Jessica said as they walked out of the elevator and into the loby._

_"Why do you ruin my fun all the time?"_

_"Because they talk about body shots and taking shots of hard liquor."_

_"They won't know what it means." She dismissed._

_"Then how bout when he says something about girls' panties dropping when he pours shots?"_

_"...OK, maybe you have a point."_

_"Bye Mom," they heard Cuddy tell an older blonde woman. "Sorry you're not feeling well."_

_"Mrs. Cuddy?" Rob asked before the woman could answer. Both of the Cuddies looked at her, they could almost hear Cuddy roll her eyes and groan. Rob had a smile on her face._

_"Do I know you?"_

_"Not really," Jessica answered. "We met once, probably over ten years ago." Arlene Cuddy nodded._

_"Did you really say that stuff to Greg in the clinic?" Rob asked out of nowhere, that small, amused smile still on her face._

_"What do you mean?"_

_"Sorry, but, he told me you guys met in the clinic, and I have to know. Did that conversation really take place?"_

_"...Yes." She answered, slightly confused._

_Rob's face immediately brightened. Her eyes widened, and her jaw dropped. "Will you be my new best friend?"_

_Jessica and Cuddy looked at her like she was crazy, but she kept looking at Arlene, smiling. The oldest Cuddy looked at her a minute before deciding that that was amusing. "What's your name? And why are you the only person in this place that calls him Greg?"_

_"He's my cousin. Rob," she slightly waved her hand toward herself._

_She nodded once, saying, "That's a boy's name."_

_Rob just smiled, "Yeah, I definitely like her." She looked at her sister, "I bet she's gonna be like Greg with lady parts."_

_"I see no sensor runs in the family," Arlene told her daughter._

"You asked her mother to be your new best friend." House repeated.

"Yep, I like her."

"So...you and Greg." Jessica started. "I hate to be Don, but really?"

Cuddy looked up from her paperwork, "...15 minutes ago, you were giggling with your sister. What happened there? I kind of assumed you were happy."

"No, I am. You two are obviously compatible...sometimes. Just...I love him, you know that, but I also know that he's a jackass. I don't want you to get hurt."

"Wow, I thought we'd get a break from the lecture when his family came to visit."

"Hey, you know him, I just want to make sure he's not already being a jackass."

"He's not, he's fine. We're better than fine." She assured her.

"OK," she held up her hands, "I believe you. I just thought it'd be better if I told him off for being a jackass. With Rob, it would resort in physical violence." She shook her head, "His cane would end up somewhere not nice, it would be bad." Cuddy smiled. As she looked back down to her work, Jessica asked, "But you will tell me if-"

"I will tell you if House starts being more of an ass," she answered quickly.

"OK," she put her hands up in surrender, "I'll leave it alone. Promise." Cuddy nodded.


	7. Kids

Rob had her feet up on House's desk, and was currently being told to take them off. "No," she shook her head.

Chase came in from the outer office, "Who are you?" He asked out right.

"Rob," she nodded down the hall, "my sister's name is Jessica. Don't call her her anything other than Jessica. Seriously."

"Isn't, Rob a boy's name?" Masters asked.

"It short for Robin," she answered like she was upset and annoyed with Masters. "Do you have a problem with my name?"

"No." She answered quickly.

"What are you, like 18? Are you even old enough to be a doctor?" She looked at House, "You'd think in 18 years she'd learn the meaning of a nickname." She looked back at Masters, "'Martha Masters'...Were you named after Eminem?"

"You don't have to be so rude-"

"Sweetie, I'm screwing with you. The 'Rob' thing tends to confuse people. But seriously, were you named after Eminem? 'Martha Masters'? 'Marshall Mathers'. No one sees this. And you," she waved at Foreman, "you're name is Eric Foreman. Have you or have you not ever dated a 'Donna'? That would be amazing if you have." She looked at House, "Bleh, Greg, I think I had too much sugar."

"Go play with children."

She started nodding before he could even finish the sentence, "OK." She got up, but before she was completely out of the door, she asked, "Where's Brenda? I've been through the clinic like five times today. Haven't seen her."

_House's Random Flash back_

_"Brenda," Seven-year-old Rob came stomping out of Exam Room 1, "Jessica's being mean, she won't let me take a latex glove."_

_"Sweetie," the busy nurse signed a chart and put it into another pile, "I'm busy, you don't need the glove, and it's too big for your hand."_

_"But I wanna blow it up," she whined._

_House stopped at the counter beside her, in front of Brenda, holding a glove in front of the little girl's face, "Here, be happy." He looked down at her, "You're much less fun when you whine." He looked at Brenda and smiled, "Nurse Brenda, may I pretty please have a sucker."_

_"Are you a kid?" She asked tiredly._

_"At heart." Brenda slid the candy jar further away from him, glaring, then looked back to the chart._

_He bent over, whispered something in Rob's ear, then lifted her up onto the counter. "Brenda," she said in her innocent voice, putting on her best face, drawing the nurse's attention, "please." She looked at the little girl and had no choice but to reach into the jar and hand a cherry lollipop to her._

_House put his hand out to accept the candy, "Ah-ah!" Brenda pulled the sucker back until House put his hand down with a sigh, then put the sucker into Rob's hand._

_"Pleeeeease." She pleaded. Brenda sighed and handed House a green lollipop._

_He whined, "But it's green."_

_"It's not as cute when you do it House," he heard Cuddy say from behind him. Rob switched their lollipops and hopped off the counter. "Stopped using an adorable girl to steal candy."_

_"Like that's any different than when you use her or Jessica to get donors to give more money."_

_"Actually it is. Now, don't let your seven-year-old cousin out do you in clinic, people would definitely trust Jessica's diagnosis more."_

_"Yeah right."_

_"House, please tell me you're not in charge of these children," Nurse Brenda said._

_"...I'm not in charge of these children." He shrugged, "I can just drop em with Cuddy or Stacy."_

_"Yeah," Cuddy said sarcastically, turning a page of something, "that's going to go over real well."_

_"Well, you better make sure that's where she's going," Brenda nodded to Rob walking through the loby to the elevators._

_His eyes widened, "Rob-"_

_"Stacy's!" She answered without looking back._

_He nodded, "See? She knows. 'Stranger Danger'. 'I need an adult'."_

_"You really do House," Cuddy mumbled._

_"Will you be my adult?" He asked sarcastically._

"That is an excellent question." He said after the memory was over. The rest of the day, House didn't do anything. Just read, went on the computer, and at the end of the day went into Cuddy's office. He sat on her couch and put his feet in her coffee table, "You ready to go?"

"Almost." She signed something, then started stacking papers.

When he saw her move to put them in her brief case he got up and stopped in front of her desk, "No." House leaned over and took the papers from her.

"House, I have to finish it."

"Do it tomorrow." He fanned the pages, "Look, there's not even that much."

"Which is a reason for me just to get it done tonight."

"But Rachel goes to bed at 7:30, you'll get no time with her." He countered.

"I'll do it after she goes to bed."

"But then _I'll _get no time with you. And we all know that your life revolves around me."

She looked at him and smirked, "Not by choice. You make it your mission to make everyone's life revolve around you."

He put his hands on her desk and leaned in even more, "You know you enjoy it."

Cuddy smiled slightly, "You're not as bad as I thought you'd be."

"Don't worry, I know that's code for, "Gregory House, you are the best thing that's ever happened to me."

She chuckled. "That's exactly what it means. You keep telling yourself that," she grabbed her briefcase and walked around her desk and out of her office. House looked down and saw the papers she left. He smiled, then followed after her.

"So how long do you figure we have until Rob comes through my door?" Cuddy asked while they walked into the parking garage.

"What time did you start dinner when you were a lonely, sad, young administrator?"

"House...Never mind. Probably, 8?"

"Then that is when we'll hear yelling for you to open up."

Cuddy opened the driver's side door and threw her brief case into the passenger's seat. "You really think that she'll remember when I used to..." she looked at him. "You're right, she'll be over at 8." She kissed him, "See you later."

"Bye," he waited until she was in the car and shut the door. House figured he'd give her about an hour before going over so she could play with Rachel, get changed, shower maybe...then he thought about going over right then. He compromised, a half hour later he was knocking on Cuddy's door.

"Hey." She opened the door wider and stepped back.

"Damn," he walked into the entryway, "I was hoping to surpirse you in the shower, but now I learn I have not. And you're probably going to make me help you cook."

Cuddy shrugged, "We can do take out if you want."

"Sweet." House called the Chinese place that he always orders from. When the food arrived, they got plates and all the other utensils and ate at the table. Rachel found her new favorite type of food. Cuddy always felt extremely content when House came over, she just wished that he would get over his weird thing with Rachel. After dinner Cuddy got her daughter dressed and ready for bed, and while she was out of the door the door bell rang. House got up and opened the door to his cousin. "Wow, you're 10 minutes early. Where's Jessica?"

"What? Early for what?"

"You didn't come over here to eat Cuddy's food and annoy us?"

"No," she shook her head. Rob threw his backpack at his chest, "You left this. Grabbed it on my way out, forgot about it til awhile ago."

Cuddy came back from down the hall with Rachel on her hip. "Hey," she greeted, but Rob was just looking at Rachel and smiling. "Rachel, this is Rob." Rachel looked at her mom. She put the side of her head on her mom's chest and waved.

"Hi Rachel." She turned around and waved for someone to come to the porch. House saw Jessica get out of the car parked outside of Cuddy's house and come up the path. "This is Jessica." Rachel waved again. Rob looked at Rachel a minute then asked, "You like music?" She nodded. "It's bedtime?" Rachel hesitated, then shook her head, Rob smiled, "Right." Her and her sister walked in, "Come on," she said to Cuddy. Rob started patting her pockets, Jessica rolled her eyes and pulled her sister's phone out from her purse. "Oh, thank you." She started down the hall and music poured out of the device. Pretty, soft piano music. She turned around and looked at Cuddy, "Come on." Cuddy gave House a look and followed after them. "I'm going to assume the obnoxiously yellow room is Rachel's."

"Rob, shut up." Her sister told her. "I don't think that's the best selection for right now."

"We're going to try the other way?"

"Yeah."

"Do we have time?"

"She won't mind."

"You're right, she's a big girl."

"Piano?" Jessica nodded. Rob's thumb flicked over her screen, and lively piano came out of the speakers. "OK, you are dismissed." She announced to Cuddy.

"I'm trying to get her to sleep."

The girls nodded and said in unison, "We know." Rob looked at Rachel, "Wanna play?" She nodded. "Well there you go Lise." Rob took Rachel out of Cuddy's arms and set her on the ground.

Jessica said into Cuddy's ear, "We play the fast music, get her energized, we play, she tires out. You know that with Rob she'll be out in 15 minutes, and we'll leave."

"Alright. Just, don't keep her up too late." Jessica nodded and Rob gave a thumbs up.

House head fell back when Cuddy came back into the dining room, "Oh God, they're not going to leave."

"Pft, like you want them to. They're just going to wear Rachel out, then they will leave, then we will have the house to ourselves."

House smiled, "That sounds fun."

"Here," she put the tv remote to his chest, "go pick a channel for the time being." Cuddy grabbed the trash from the Chinese and walked into the kitchen, calling back, "No monster trucks."

"They aren't even on tonight!"

She smiled and put the left overs in the fridge because House would no doubt finish them. She threw the empty containers away and put her forks into the sink. She got out some wine and two glasses, rinsing them out and drying them, then walked back through the entryway to the living room. "You're already done?" She asked when she saw Jessica carefully closing the door and Rob already on her way to the door.

"Yeah," Jessica answered. "We have a system. Changes sometimes, but it always involves mood music."

"Well it works well," she put the bottle into her right hand with the glasses.

"Ooo, you got me wine, you shouldn't have," Rob reached out, but Cuddy moved her hand away from her.

"Are you even old enough to drink?"

Her hand fell to her side. "Lisa I'm offended," she said in mock hurt. "I'm 21."

"Oh my God you're old."

"Thank you," she said sarcastically. "If I'm old, you're ancient."

"Sorry, but you used to be 12, and younger. Now I feel old."

"Least you're hot," Jessica pointed out.

"Damn straight she is!" They heard House yelled.

"Sh!" Rob hissed and walked into the living room. "She's sleeping. And I want to know something," she said when she heard glass tink and the door open and close. "Why are you so weird?"

"Is that really a question?" He grabbed his thigh and put his foot on the table.

"No, you're weird with Rachel."

"She's a small child, why wouldn't I be weird with her? And why do you think I am, you have barely seen us in the same room."

"You were just being weird. You're body language."

"Again, she's a small child, why wouldn't I be weird with her?"

"You weren't weird with us," she shrugged. "Some may even say, you were good with us."

"That was different."

"How? Girlfriend wanted you to spend time with adorable girls, girlfriend wants you to spend time with adorable girl. All three brunette, sure, she may have blue eyes, and we have brown, but it's the adorable and girlfriend thing that matters." She walked out of the room and he heard the door open and close.

_Flash back_

_"Greg come on, it'll be two hours." Stacy said._

_"I don't want to." He sat down on their couch. "And why the hell do you want to do it?" He waved his hand at her. "They're not even related to you."_

_"No, but they are related to you, I like their parents, and I think we should spend time with them."_

_He just looked at her, "The oldest one is seven. What the hell could spending time with them possibly do?"_

_"Bonding? I thought you liked them?"_

_He clicked his tongue and looked away, "I said one of em was OK. That's because she doesn't say anything, just sits there, and smiles at me. Would you like to know why she doesn't say anything?"_

_"Because you're so fascinating and incredible that she's in awe?" She asked sarcastically._

_"No, correct answer, is she's 1 and a half."_

_"Greg, the girls are closer to three."_

_"...Oh. Still not changing my mind."_

_"It'll be two hours," she sat on the table in front of him, "how could it be that bad?"_

_He looked at his lap, then sighed and looked at her. "Well, when you look at me with that puppy dog face," he said sarcastically._

_An: In my opinion, Rob and Jessica's response was the correct one when dealing with Rachel, that child is adorable. The first flash back, cause waht happened to Brenda dammit? And the second one was to show that House is just naturally awkward with children, but he can get better. Bye the bye, do you guys want more or less of the twins? And no, not talking about Patty and Selma ;)_


	8. Part 1

_An: K, this is Carrot or Stick, right after the flash back is a lil after Wilson left his back_

_House sat on the back of his couch, pouting. "Greg it's two hours." Stacy repeated._

_"Exactly! Two hours of my life I'll never get back. _Two hours_ that I could have been doing something that I actually like doing."_

_There was a knock on the door, "Your two hours start now." She opened the door to a beautiful blonde woman in her late twenties to early 30s, dressed in beautiful black gown, accompanied by two little brunette girls and a blonde boy._

_"Hey," she sighed. "Thank you so much for this."_

_"It's no problem."_

_She smiled and leaned to the side so she could see House, "Thanks Greg!"_

_"Shut up Sadie!" Was his reply._

_Don and Jessica frowned, but their mom and sister smiled, taking the bored expression off the girl's face. "Go on guys," Sadie put her hand on Don's back, "me and Daddy will be back to pick you up in a little." The kids walked past Stacy into the apartment, but before she could close the door, Sadie put her hand on Stacy's arm. "This is going to seem strange, but treat them like adults. Don will tolerate _you_ treating him younger than he is, Jessica will get uncomfortable, and Robin, she will get pissy, really fast. Attitude you did not think possible for a three-year-old. Don't use a baby voice, don't talk down, complete sentences, and she'll love you."_

_"Got it."_

_She smiled and looked back at House, "Have fun Greg!"_

_"Bite me!"_

_She shrugged, "Sorry, but I think Jeff might have a problem with that." Sadie smiled at Stacy, "Bye." Stacy shut the door and turned to see House and Robin analyzing eachother. Then the little girl looked away, walking around the living room, examining everything, before moving through the kitchen, then he saw her disappear down the hall, going in and out of rooms every few minutes._

_Jessica sighed, "She's exploring. She doesn't like being anywhere that isn't our house." House and Stacy looked down in surprise at how well that came out of the young girl's mouth._

"What the hell is the matter with you?" Jessica stormed into Wilson's office and looked down at House. "You're _training_ her?"

"Do you gain a radar that goes off whenever I'm doing something that you wouldn't approve of if you spend enough time with Cuddy? Or maybe it's Wilson, I don't know."

"No, you get a stupidity alarm after enough time around you. She's two, you don't train a child with a dog clicker and positive reinforcement. You don't train a child at all. If she doesn't get in, she doesn't get in."

"But Cuddy is all about over achieving, if her kid doesn't get into a school because she's stupid, Cuddy will go insane."

"_She's two_!"

"What about when you guys were two?"

"All kids are different." She looked down at Rachel and smiled, "Hi sweetheart."

Rachel smiled, "Hi, Jessica."

"Is Greg a dummy head?" Rachel shook her head. "No? Well that's nice." She looked at House, no longer smiling, "Be nice to her. And Rob will kill you if you take any of the Ped's kids' projects." She opened the door and started walking.

"Then have Rob do something. No, you do it, it'll be more believable." Jessica turned around and narrowed her eyes at him. "Where are you even going? I'm surprised you haven't stolen the kid to put an end to the training."

"I have court in an hour, I need to go meet Stacy." She put her pointer finger up, "And I swear," she started slowly and threateningly, "if I come back and you're still, "training"," she put the word in quotes with her voice, "I will not only insist that we come pick up Rob, not only will Iinsist that Stacy come in with me, not only will I insist that we say hi to Wilson, which will inevitably lead to us saying hi to everyone, you know how Rob is, but I will tell Lisa." He looked up at her with wide eyes, and swallowed. Seeing Stacy would be awkward, but Cuddy finding out...he doubted he would see the day after she found out. "Just _play_ with her Greg." She smiled at the toddler, "See you later Rach."

The little girl smiled back, "Bye."

* * *

"You idiot!" Wilson looked behind him at House limping towards him down the hall. "Why would you tell Jessica about mine and Rachel's session? Her sister will just _know_ about the yelling, that yelling will remind _her_ of all the things _she_ wants to yell about."

Wilson looked at him for a second, then his eyes widened. "We're going to get our heads bitten off."

"Exactly!" He hissed. "She was all distracted because she completely loves being around you for some reason, plus Rachel, plus Cuddy, plus me, plus me plus Cuddy, but now that delicate balance is going to go to hell! You know that when she gets pissed she has no reservations about yelling! She's like all of us combined!"

"...Someone has to tell Cuddy. I vote you do it."

"You're the one that screwed everything up!"

"But you're her boyfriend," Wilson pointed at him, "and she's related to you."

* * *

"Hey," Cuddy smiled and looked up from the file in her hands.

"Uh, we're going to get yelled at."

She stopped walking, "...Why?"

"Uh, Jessica got mad at me, Rob is going to remember that she's mad at all of us for something or other."

"Oh God. What is she mad at me for?"

He paused, then said quickly, "I got drunk one time and miss dialed." She gave him an incredulous look. "'Warren' is right above 'Wilson'."

"You have her in your phone your phone as 'Warren'?"

"My phone puts the last name first."

"...Oh God, she didn't hear about Lucas cause she eavesdropped on me and her mom, did she?"

"Oh, I'm sure that's one way. The other was a drunk me."

She sighed, "Fantastic."

_An: Next chapter should be up like, tonight, or at some odd time. Watch, I'll post at like 2 in the morning. And, did you guys see all stuff bout Family Practice? Cannot wait!_


	9. Part 2

_An: M'kay, I know the vocab that will be used by Rob is very advance, trust me, that's why she's usin it. And you may be askin yourself, "Has she gone mad? Why the hell is Stacy in these flash backs?" Trust me, all will be revealed. Oh, still on Carrot or Stick. And sadly Rob interupts their moment._

"What the _hell _is wrong with you?" Rob demanded when House opened the door, but her eyes weren't on him, they were past him. He looked back slightly. Cuddy was standing behind him. House stood there a second, then very slowly moved to the side. Rob stormed in, "_'Presigious preschool'?_ What the hell is that? I didn't go to preschool, look at me. What the hell do you even do? She's two, she needs to just play. Play with her Lisa."

House hesitated, not wanting her to start screaming at him, there was, after all, more that she could be mad that he did, but said, "In her defense, she was. You interupted that."

Rachel's head poked out of her room. Her face lit up and she ran down the hall to Rob, who bent down and picked her up. "Hi Rob."

"Hey baby girl."

She smiled and shook her head, "Not a baby."

"Of course you're not. Big girl. Are you 80 now?"

She shook her head, "Noooo."

"70?"

"Nooo."

"Oh that's right," she nodded, "you're two." Rachel nodded. "Can you show how many that is?" Rachel held up two little fingers. "Very good." Rob beamed at her. "Now," she looked at Cuddy, "we're going to go _plaaay_." She turned back towards the hall, but stopped, "Wait, we have presents." Rob stopped at the threshhold of the front door, "How many are you again?" Rachel held up two fingers, "That's right, OK. Jessica!" She called to the car. "Bring two of em!"

The little girl's eyes widened, "There's more?" Rob nodded. "I'm this many," Rachel held up both hands.

Jessica came up the path, chuckling, holding five gift bags. Rob put down one of Rachel's hands, "How bout that old? We don't have ten." The excited toddler nodded vigorously.

"We missed your birthday," Jessica said when she got in the house. "Sorry." But Rachel didn't say anything, too mesmorized by the brightly colored tissue paper. "Let's go open these."

House and Cuddy were left standing in the entryway. "I hate to say this," Cuddy started, still looking down the hall, "but you were right." House looked at her, and she looked at him, "She distracts them so much."

_Flash back_

_Robin wandered back into the living room, "I deem this place acceptable." She sat on the couch between House and Stacy and put her hands in her lap. Stacy and House looked at each other in surprise. Three-year-olds did not use the words 'deem' and 'acceptable'._

_"Have you guys eaten?" Stacy asked, standing up. Don immediately jumped up, and nodded. Robin and Jessica rolled their eyes._

_"Can I have some juice?" Jessica asked politely._

_"I think we have some," Stacy nodded and walked into the kitchen, Jessica followed and Don right behind Stacy._

_The remaining girl took the remote from House's lap and started flipping channels. "You better watch out," he looked down at her, "Don'll steal your woman." She looked at him, "He's been staring at her butt, and that doctor, the one with the low tops. He likes staring at her." The little girl looked back at the tv, "Surprised he hasn't got a picture."_

_"...Cuddy?"_

_Her eyebrows drew together in thought and she put her knuckle on her chin, "'Dr. Cuddy comma Lisa'. She seems bossy."_

_"She is." House nodded._

_The child turned a disaproving face to him, "You need to keep your eyes in your head. You like Stacy a lot, I could tell, but you like her too."_

_He just stared at her, "Are you sure you're three?"_

_She nodded once, "Just about."_

_"There's no way." Robin just shrugged a shoulder. "And I do not like Cuddy. It's like with your brother, she's fun to look at."_

_"Doesn't explain why your girlfriend is like her. Stacy's even short and brunette. I'd go more into your obsession, but here your girlfriend comes." And Stacy did come in, behind Jessica...in front of Don._

_He looked back at his cousin, "There is no way you're three."_

"Now you can play music with Greg." Jessica said, drawing House out of his memory. Rachel had pulled a small toy piano xylophone crossover out of one of the bags. She pressed down on one of the keys, creating a high pitch metallic sound. Rachel smiled at it and then at everyone else in the room. They were all sitting on the floor. House had his back against the sofa and his legs stretched out in front of him, Cuddy had her legs curled under her, leaning on him. Rachel was sitting in front of them, separated by discarded tissue, and wrapping paper, bags, and toys. Rob was on her stomach, smiling fondly at the little girl in front of her, Jessica was sitting cross legged behind Rachel, putting momentarily forgotten toys on one side, and shredded wrappings on the other. Rachel stood up, taking the piano/xylophone with her, and sat half on her mom's lap, and half on House's.

She placed the toy on House's leg. "Look Mama," she pressed the button for the pink bar, then red, the purple. "I got toys."

"Yes you did. What do you say?"

"Thank you." She told the twins.

"Why don't you play Greg?" Jessica smiled a small smile.

He narrowed his eyes at her. Rachel turned her head and looked up at him, "Pleeeease."

"It's not going to soung right," he warned, but put finger on one of the "keys", and ran down a scale. He sighed and thought a second. As best he could, he started tapping the keys to Winnie the Pooh.

"You know the notes to Winnie the Pooh?" Cuddy asked, amused.

After a moment of thought, he nodded at Rob and said, "It's her fault." She smiled.

"I'm sure it is," Cuddy nodded. "OK, time for bed."

"But Mommy I'm not sleepy," Rob whined.

Cuddy rolled her eyes. She poked House in the chest, "Your fault." She pushed herself off of the ground. "But I was actually talking to _my_ daughter. Your sister's in charge of you, I think I've paid my dues."

"But Mommy," Rob sat up and lifted Rachel off House's lap and onto hers, "she's not sleepy either." Rachel looked up at her mom and shook her head.

"Well you've been up late enough." She picked up Rachel, "Time for bed."

Jessica took her sister's phone, ran her thumb over the screen a few times and stood up. She leaned on the edge of Rachel's crib and handed her the phone, "Here, play with this till you fall asleep. Just lay down, tap the strings," her finger tapped the screen and a guitar note played. Rachel smiled and started tapping the strings in no particular order. "Lay down," Jessica reminded after a moment. Rachel sat down then laid on her back, her eyes still on the screen. The young woman smiled and put the blanket on her.

Rob leaned over the child and said, "Night." When the little girl just kept playing with the phone, Rob put her hand over both the entire screen and Rachel's hands. She raised the volume of her voice, "Night."

The little girl giggled, "Night."

"Night sweetheart," Jessica kissed her forehead and Rob released her hold on the phone.

"Night sweetie," Cuddy told her and kissed her.

"Night Momma."

House was leaning against the doorframe, one fist on his hip. Rob elbowed him in the stomach. He flinched, threw her a look and said, "Night kid." Jessica switched off the light, and Cuddy closed the door behind them, leaving it cracked open slightly.

_An: More of the night to come, and we will see a past night at Cuddy's instead of House's._


	10. Night In

_An: New [H]ouse tomorrow! For now, enjoy the chapter =)_

"I love that kid," Rob said out of nowhere when her and House were in the kitchen getting drinks. "And I can tell you like her."

"She's alright," he shrugged.

"Liar. You know that? You like her, you know it. And she likes you. That was adorable by the way, when she sat on your lap." She hit the door of the fridge closed with her side and carried two glasses in her hands and one between her rib cage and arm, House got the other one. "It's OK to admit it, she's adorable."

"Hold on," he told her when she started towards the living room, a smile on his face, "this is something Cuddy would not be happy to know." She turned to face him, "She lied to cover my ass. Cuddy asked her if she ever played "Feed the Monkey" before, she said no."

Rob smiled, "You're proud of your little girl huh?"

He chuckled and nodded. "Yeah." She just smiled and left the room. Her words sunk in and his smile turned into a frown, "Wait a minute." But she didn't.

Rob entered the living room, stopping their conversation. "Lisa, yours is the left one," she put her hand out, Cuddy accepted the drink. "You get alcohal cause you don't have to drive, and she will get all bitchy if I drink then make her drive so ha, we both get non buzz getty stuff." She turned and her sister took the cup from her arm. Rob sat on the couch next to Cuddy and folded her legs underneath her. House came in and sat down next to Jessica.

"So, all the times you guys have come over, you've played with my child then left. Why don't you stick around and talk to the people you haven't seen in years?" Cuddy asked.

Rob shrugged, "I dunno, maybe you bore me now. Cause, that little girl has way more cuteness points than both of you combined."

House scoffed, "Please, I am adorable."

Jessica smiled and said sarcastically, "Totally, you are just the cutest thing that ever did walk the face of the earth."

"Thank you. I had always maintained that thinking."

"So what have you two been up to?" Cuddy asked.

Rob bit her lip in thought, then answered, "Jessica lost her virginity."

"Rob!" She sister's jaw dropped.

"That wasn't really what I meant," Cuddy said.

Rob shrugged, "It happened."

"You say she lost it like you haven't," House noted. She raised an eyebrow at him.

Cuddy looked at her, "Really?"

She chuckled, "Why is everyone so surprised by this? Am I not allowed to have self control? Or am I still being thought of as Greg? You know what, that proves Greg has self control, well I can also think of some other things that prove that, but congrats," she raised her glass to House. They all raised their glasses in a mock toast to House's self control. Rob took a sip of her soda and put her head on Cuddy's shoulder, "I missed this house. I missed Princeton really."

_Rob's Flash back  
__  
__"I'm going to hell," Cuddy announced and popped a piece of pop corn into her mouth. "Oops! Sorry."_

_"It's cool," 10 year old Rob reached across her sister and grabbed a fistful out of the bowl on Cuddy's lap. "We hear worse."_

_"It is pretty interesting that you're spending your Friday night with us, flipping through channels, looking for hot guys, instead of clubbing. Or, whatever old people do."_

_Cuddy gave her a look and threw a kernal at her nose._

_"Oh!" Rob grabbed the remote from her sister's lap and started clicking rapidly. "Here," she pointed the piece of plastic at the screen. "This one's for Lisa, Hugh Laurie."_

_"Definitely," she said, crunching the pop corn. Rob scribbled his name down along with the other names of actors they thought were hot. Some of them went by the names of a more memorable character if they didn't know their actual name, or simply, "That one guy from..."_

_Jessica leaned forward and squinted at the television, "He kinda looks like Greg."_

Rob chuckled. "What?" Cuddy asked.

"Nothing," she shook her head. "Just remembered that one time when we realized a celebrity you found atractive looks like Greg. Ah, good times."

Jessica started laughing at her sister from her position on the couch. Her legs over the arm of the chair and her head practically in House's lap. "You look like you're going to pass out."

"Hey, I'm leaning, your laying." She giggled.

Cuddy rolled her eyes, "Before we get into Jessica's sex life again, what has been going on, in your lives?"

"I'm going to go to law school." Jessica said.

"I can't believe you went 'attorney' instead of 'physician'." House said.

"Look at you, usin fancy words. That's my job," Rob told him. "But, my stuff is better." She puffed up, "I have a super hot boyfriend. At least for now."

Jessica rolled her eyes. "Which means?" Cuddy asked.

She turned slightly and laid down across Cuddy's lap, "Eh, I have a feeling I'm going to get tired of him soon."

"No, you like him and you know it."

A corner of the young woman's mouth went up, "Maybe."

"She refuses to admit that she really, really, really likes him."

"Three "really"s," House whistled. "That one whole "really" past love."

"Enough about us," Rob deflected. "What about you guys?"

"We've been..." Cuddy search for the apropriate ending to that sentence, "somewhat normal. Mostly OK." She looked down and smiled. Rob was asleep. She looked over at Jessica, whose eyes were starting to close. She chuckled silently and nodded for House to look at his cousin. He did, and smiled. Cuddy thought about earlier that night, when Rachel curled up in House's lap. It was one of the cutest things she had ever seen, but how awkward he looked, it sort of marred it. And now, watching smile fondly at these girls, remembering how he always smiled at them like that, she really wished he would smile at Rachel like that.

The silence was broken by a cell phone ringing. House leaned forward and got Jessica's cell phone out of her purse, and put the speaker right next to her ear. She jerked, "I'm up!" The drousy girl took her cell phone out of her cousin's hand, "Hello?...Yeah, we're at Lisa's...Holy shit," she lifted her head and looked at the clock, "I didn't know it was that late. Alright...Yeah, she's right here. Why didn't you just call her?...Alright, we'll be there in a little. Hell, I might just leave her here. It's probably good you called me actually, her phone's other wise engaged. Bye."

She threw her phone at her sister's head, it hit her on the nose, "Ow!" Her eyes flew open and she sat up, "I'm awake!" She rubbed her eye, then grabbed her nose, "I think you broke it."

"Don't be a baby." Jessica stood up and stretched. "We'll see you later." She bent over, put her hand on House's cheek and kissed his temple. "Bye."

"I feel like a kid now," he pouted.

"Bye Lise," Rob hugged her friend/honorary aunt, possibly cousin. "I'll go get my phone, I'll be like a ninja in the night." She pushed herself off of the couch and walked down the hall, after a moment she came tiptoeing back into the room, her phone in her hand. "K, let's go."

"Bye guys," Cuddy said. Rob saluted.

House opened the front door. "Hold on," Rob reached into her sister's purse and pulled out a folded paper and a macaroni neckless. "Give these to Lisa in the morning. And it's not a complete lie. Member when Jessica took Rach for lunch? We took the opportunity to make the neckless. Drawing's by yours truely."

"Come on," Jessica pulled on her sister's arm. "Let's go."

House closed the door and unfolded the paper. It was a drawing of him, Cuddy, and Rachel, a typical drawing for a two-year-old. Grass, a sun, Cuddy was holding Rachel's hand and standing next to House, Rachel was holding onto House's cane. He smiled, he was smirking in the picture, well, as close to smirking as you could get with red crayon. Another little slip of paper fell to the floor, he bent over and picked it up.

_We had enough time for her to do some of the drawing.  
She drew you, you jag off.  
__-Hugs and kisses, Rob_

_An: That's Rob telling House "Be nice". Also, I think the twins are going to leave Princeton for tomorrow's episode. From what I've seen, Rob and Jessica really wouldn't be able to not get pissed, and Rob would probably start yelling._


	11. I Gotta Go

_An: Ok, Family Practice was awesome, and this stuff takes before. The flash back is just random, I watched _Who Framed Roger Rabbit, _awesome movie._

_"Oh!" Rob exclaimed. Cuddy threw her pillow on her bed, her bed finally made. "Greg sent us over with a letter." She whipped out a piece of paper and unfolded it. "Ahem. "Dear Lisa, How I love thee. Let me count the ways." She jumped onto Cuddy's bed and kept jumping, "One one thousand! Two one thousand-"_

_Jessica hit her sister's legs. Rob's knees jerked and her butt hit the matress. "Cause that's what I need," Cuddy rolled her eyes and pulled the sheets straight again, "a 13-year-old jumping on my bed."_

_"We watched _Who Framed Roger Rabbit_ last night." Jessica explained. "She did the same to me."_

_"Well what did you want me to do?" Rob asked. "The literal quote was, "Dear Jessica, How I love thee, let me count the ways..." How could you expect me not to? Plus, you are so crushing on Kyle."_

Rob and Jessica were in House's outer office with his team. Jessica was sitting in a chair next to the glass wall separating House's office from the team office, looking, in what could only be described as toned downed horror, at her sister, listening to Masters talk. Rob was sitting at the table in front of her sister, a small smile on her face as she listen to the naive young woman speak about ethics. "You know," Chase cut off her ramblings, "I thought we'd be seeing you around here a lot more. From the first day you came, it seemed like you'd be spending every waking second here."

"I've been here almost everyday since we got here." Rob answered.

"I haven't seen you."

She shrugged, "I've been here. Jessica hasn't been here except a few days for lunch, and to help out Lisa." She looked back at Masters, "So, run that last case by me again." Masters smiled, glad to finally have someone that didn't seem to just dismiss ethics.

House limped into his office, Jessica immediately stood up and walked in. "Please Greg," she said so quietly it was almost like she was mouthing it, "please shut her the hell up. For the love of god, shut her up."

House smiled and pointed at her, "Aren't you supposed to be the nice one?"

"Not when being exposed to that. That is too...I don't even know."

"What's Rob think of her?"

"She's amused as hell."

Rob pushed open the glass door and stood next to her sister, "Hey, don't you and Stace have the thing with the thing?"

"Oh!" She grabbed her purse.

"Make sure you guys are here when 13 comes back." House said.

"Huh?" Jessica asked. She shook her head to say "Never mind".

"Hold on," House said as the young woman opened the door to the hallway. "Why don't you like her?"

"She's just...She's not normal."

"No dear sister," Rob corrected, "she's normal. And that's what's weird."

* * *

Rob ran into House's office and grabbed her phone from off of House's desk. "What are you doing?" He asked.

"I have to go. Goddammit, it's dead. I forgot this here yesterday." She pulled out her charger and plugged it and the phone into the wall. After much foot tapping, it finally turned on. She ran her thumb over the screen rapidly and put it to her ear. House thought he heard the voice of a young child. "F-" she started to swear, but changed it into, "Daaaamn."

"What?"

"Yesterday I got an email, right now I just listened to the voicemail that confirmed it. I have to be in California by tomorrow before 10:00." She was already busy on her phone. After letting out a sigh of relief, she pressed the screen a few times, then put the phone to her ear.

"Why do you have to be in California?"

"Cause my baby boy has a school thing and he'll hate me if I miss it. He's 4 and he made me put it on my calendar months ago." She started out of House's office, leaving him with a stunned and horrified look, "Hey baby!"

He shook his head, "What?" Rob was already gone, but he was still confused. House limped to the elevator and took it down to the lobby when Wilson wasn't in his office. He saw him in the Clinic next to Cuddy. "Does Rob have a kid?"

They both looked up in surprise. "Does she?"

"All I heard was "baby boy", "4", "school thing", and "I have to be in California by tomorrow". Naturally I did the math, she'd have to have been seventeen."

"I can't believe that." Cuddy said, literally not believing.

"You!" House called to Jessica, who was leaving Cuddy's office. She jumped, almost dropping her bags, and many, many papers. "Why are you still here? Rob took off."

"Yeah," she chuckled. "I guess I'm going to have to deal with my nephew hating me until I pull out a shiny new toy."

"Why the hell did you let your sister get knocked up at seventeen?"

"What?"

"But Rob said she was a virgin," Cuddy said to House.

"Cuddy, come on. She's related to me, often called 'House Jr.'. And everybody, including someone as fabulous me, or, as close as any human can be, lies. Plus, who do you call your baby girl? Figure it's the same with baby boy."

"Oh!" They all looked at Jessica. "You must be talking about Patrick." All the adults did a simultanious head tilt. "Um, our nephew...Don's kid." She clarified when they continued to stare at her blankly.

"He's like, 26." Cuddy said.

"Yeah, him and Trisha started havin them early."

"Who's Trisha?" Cuddy asked.

"His wife?"

"He got married?"

"Yeah."

"You don't look surprised," she told Wilson.

"I knew."

"You knew?"

"Are you just going to repeat everything they say?" House asked. She gave him a look.

"Don has a wife and kid-"

"Two." Jessica corrected.

"Wow," House chuckled. "He's kicking your _ass_ at the whole, family thing." Cuddy glared at him. "What?" He asked innocently. "He's 26, he's got a spouse, and two kids. You're ffff-32," he said when her glare got meaner, "you got one kid, and a boyfriend."

"Greg, this is your que to stop talking. Now I have to go."

"Thank you." Cuddy called after her. She waved her hand in a sort of sideways salute.

"Why'd you thank her?" Hosue asked.

"She's been acting as my temporary PA. Why is the only competent secretary I've had pre-law?"

"Probably because she's pre-law, and you've embedded your perfectionist ways in her. It's your fault if she doesn't have a social life."

"Rob's a virgin?" Wilson asked.

"Now you're going to do this?" House looked at him.

"Well this proves my theory." Wilson nodded.

"What theory?" Cuddy asked.

He moved his finger in a circle, indicating all of them, "Each of the kids has an adult, not related to them, that they tell stuff to." House got a confused look and pointed at himself. Wilson sighed, "Fine, then Stacy's her adult."

House got an almost pouty look, then said quietly, "Why do you have to take away my kid?"

Wilson rolled his eyes, "Fine, let me rephrase it. Each kid has an adult, not in their immediate family, that they tell stuff to." House nodded.

* * *

"Lise," Jessica cracked the office door open enough to put her head in, "I have to go."

"No, you can't leave me. I've gotten so much work done with you around. None of it even needed to be taken home."

"I feel so special, you want me around because I'm a good PA," she said sarcastically.

Cuddy smiled. "I don't want you to leave, but it's not just because you're the best PA I've ever had...Me, my mom, and my sister are going shopping."

"Ah. Well, selfish me, putting my future career in front of your annoying mother." Cuddy laughed. "I'm gone for like, two, three days."

"Ugh, you sure you don't want to give up on the lawyer thing and come work for me?"

Jessica laughed, "Yeah, you pay me as much as I'd earn working for my dad, I'll come and be your assitant."

"It was worth a shot. See you later."

"Bye Lise."

_An: How long do you guys think I should keep this story going? Cause, there's really no point to it, it's just been for giggles. Or maybe I should make a point to it. I don't know._


	12. Noisy Return

_An: M'kay, in this, Rob starts swearing, I felt it necessary, but the next one is alot longer, and cute._

Jessica held her phone to her ear with her shoulder as she grabbed her bags and walked through the airport. She slid one of the straps to the bend of her elbow and put the phone in her hand, "Yeah, just landed...Mhm, Rob should be back today too. She'll probably get there a little after me...Yeah, I just have to drop my stuff at the house and I'll be over, and then you can tell me about your mom and sister...OK, bye."

* * *

"Hey Wilson," Rob greeted. "...Yeah, I'll be there in a lil, just have to drop off my stuff...K, see you in a little bit." She pressed End, and was called by her cousin almost immediately. "Sup Greg?...Yeah, I just told Wilson, I'm coming. I think Jessica's already there...Well she's probably with Lisa you dumbass...Yes I can so call you that...Well, it's fine if it's true...Is so...Hold on, I have to continue this conversation later. I'll prove you wrong when I get to the hospital. Peace."

* * *

"Why didn't you call us?" Jessica asked Cuddy. They were sitting on her office couch, Rob in the chair. "We would have come back if you needed us."

"Well I couldn't see what you guys could do, and you had important things going on." She answered.

"That bitch!" Rob stood up, outraged. "How dare she say that shit to you! Who does she think she is? Greg? Hell no," she turned to her right and stomped out of the room.

Cuddy looked after her and asked, "Should we-"

"It won't make a difference," Jessica shook her head. Cuddy nodded and looked back at the present twin. "We would have dropped it, and you should have had someone to help you deal with Greg's..." she looked for the appropriate word, "Gregness." There was no one word to describe her cousin. "I know how he can be...or, is." They both smiled.

"He is that way."

* * *

"Hey Mom," Cuddy slid the door open and walked into her mother's hospital room with a wheelchair. "You ready to go?"

"Lisa, I really don't need to be wheeled out."

"Procedure," she shrugged.

Arlene shook her head, "I could tell that standard procedure was first priority in this place." Cuddy smiled as her mom sat down in the wheelchair.

As she rolled her mom into the elevator, Cuddy asked, "So how you feeling?"

"Good, a little puzzled, but good."

"Why puzzled?"

"Well, I had a very angry young woman come into my room and yell at me, she then preceded to give me a pastry and a cup of coffee," she lifted a coffee cup from the cafeteria.

"Yeah," Cuddy chuckled. "Rob's like that. You remind her of House, he's her favorite relative, and that's how she would react if he said something that hurt my feelings...Usually the muffin went to me though."

The door opened to the ground floor, Cuddy stepped out of the elevator. "She was that little girl that nearly gave me a heart attack, isn't she? The one that called you 'mom'."

"Uh, yeah, that was her." When they got to the exit, the girls were standing there. Rob was holding a single pink flower.

She extended it to Arlene as she got out of the wheelchair, and said seriously, "I still love you."

"Well," she accepted the flower and gave her the coffee cup, "that's a relief." Rob smiled. She turned to her daughter, "I'll see you later Lisa." She hugged her daughter.

"Bye Mom."

Arlene looked at the girls, "Well, it certainly has been interesting meeting you. Not sure if I can say it's been a pleasure. Though you seem normal," she told Jessica.

She chuckled, "For the most part. And I'd like to apologize for my sister. I've said it once, I'll say it again, I think she was dropped on her head as a child."

"That would explain some things." Arlene nodded.

"See, that's why I like her." Rob nodded. "Stay well. Don't die, Lisa will be sad."

"I'll try."

"Isn't there something else you guys could be doing, somewhere else?" Cuddy hinted.

"You're right!" Exclaimed Rob. "I have to go yell at Greg. Thank you Lise. Stuborn grown ups," she shrugged. "Spend forever tryin to get them together, then they start actin stupid." She started off towards the elevator, Jessica rolled her eyes and shook her head, then followed. On the elevator ride up, Jessica noticed that Rob was smiling, it was little, but definitely there. Usually when she would yell at her cousin, which had been many, many times, especially about Cuddy or Wilson, mainly Cuddy, the elevator could not move fast enough, she would run up four flights of stairs depending on what his offense was. Now, she was smiling. The doors open and Rob walked out, her sister following. As soon as she saw House however, her smile vanished, and her walk adopted a strangely Cuddylike air. "You!" She pushed the door open. "Why in the hell didn't you call me? You can't leave Lisa alone with your craziness, _and_ with her mother being sick, _and_ Wilson not being here, _and_ her having to make decisions that affect her mother's health! What the hell is wrong with you?" She turned to Masters, "And _you_! I don't like you anymore! The only thing I can't stand more than _him_," she pointed behind her at House, "behaving like a jackass, is people I don't know fucking with my family! You don't know how he works. Sure, he's imoral and I have to yell at him from time to time, but he gets results. The only reason you still have a job and a future is because she's alive." Her voice was low and threatening, "If Arlene had died, not only would Greg have done all the things he said, but Lisa would make you wish you had never been born. Not to mention all the hell that I would put you through. You don't even want to know what Jessica would to you." Masters looked petrified. She looked to House, who was sitting back in his office chair, wasn't amused, didn't look scared anymore, just completely serious, and believing. Masters looked at Jessica, expecting her to have an annoyed expression, or something, what she found was barely consealed rage. "Are we understood?" Masters just stood stunned for a moment, then started nodding.

"I was just trying-"

"I don't give a _damn_, what you were trying to do. I have done worse things to people I know and love a whole lot more, for a whole lot less."

"It's true," Jessica had her arms crossed over her chest. "She didn't talk to my parents for weeks when we moved to California, and she blew up on Lisa and Wilson after the ketamine treatment failed."

"Main moral, you are nowhere near qualified, or even smart enough to decide what to do when it comes to Greg, and medicine. There is, in fact, a reason that the name "House" is known, and not any of his lackies. Are we _clear_, now?"

"Crystal."

"Fantastic." She turned around, immediately smiling, and sat in House's lounge chair.

"So how have you been?" House nodded.

"Good," she nodded back. Masters stepped out of House's offiice and into the team's outer office, Jessica's eyes following. Jessica may leave the yelling to her sister, but she was usually feeling the same thing.

"So why are you smiling like an idiot?"

"No I'm not," she replied, smiling.

Jessica rolled her eyes, "Wade remembered Patrick's thing." House gave her a questioning look. "Wade's her boyfriend."

"Ah. The one you really really really like."

"Shut up," Rob said. "I'm going to go hang with Wilson." She annouced and stood up.

"You're going to leave me with her?" House put his hand out towards Jessica, who glared at him.

"You're not exactly a joy to be around." Jessica said. He stuck his tongue out at her. "Child."

"Kids," Rob started calmly, "you can stay here and download porn," she said to House, "and you can go do your thing with Lisa. Good bye ladies." She nodded and left the room.

Jessica stood there for a second, "Well, I'm gonna go talk to Lisa."

"You do that," he nodded.

"You need to apologize to Greg," Jessica said after a few minutes in Cuddy's office.

She looked up from her desk at the young woman one her couch, "I'm sorry?"

"That's good, just, take out the questioning tone."

"Haha. What do I have to apologize for?"

"I don't know," she replied honsetly. "I just have a feeling that you need to. Something from the stories I've been told. I got the feeling that you want to, or that you should from both of you. And how often do I tell you that _you_ need to apologize to _him_?" Cuddy did this thing with her head that showed Jessica she thought she was right. "Just think about it, you know, see if I'm right." She leaned back, taking her work with her. "Oh, and you have a meeting in twenty minutes."

_An: ...Is it weird that Wilson wasn't there last week?_


	13. Night Out

_An: K, this starts out with Rob telling House a story. That's why their conversation starts out with what it starts out with._

_Rob's Story_

_"I'll see you later Mom." Cuddy said to the oldest female Cuddy as she prepared to leave her daughter's hospital._

_A little Rob, about 8, came in between them. She wrapped her arms around Cuddy and looked up at her, "Can I have three dollars?"_

_"No."_

_"But Moooom," she pleaded._

_"Ask your dad."_

_"Something you want to tell me Lisa?" Her mother asked._

_"Oh, no. She's not mine." She looked at Rob, "She just likes to annoy me."_

_Rob turned to face Mrs. Cuddy and leaned against Cuddy,, "Mhm," she nodded, "I think it's in my genetic code."_

_"Jessica doesn't bother me." Cuddy pointed out._

_"Between you and me, I think she's adopted."_

_Cuddy rolled her eyes, and responded sarcastically, "Yeah, I'm sure that's what happened." She glanced behind her, "Speaking of which, Jessica, can you...?" She gestured towards Rob._

_"Yeah," Jessica grabbed her sister's arm and started pulling._

_She took her arm back, "Don't manhandle me. I'm a big girl, I'm perfectly capable of taking the elevator up to the fourth floor." She turned and started off in that direction, her sister looked annoyed and followed._

"You met Cuddy's mom?" House asked Rob when they were clearing Cuddy's dinner table from the early dinner they had.

"Yep."

"Then why hadn't I met her till awhile ago?"

"It was when you were out of town. You probably remember when you came back. Member? You were all pouty and moody, and I got bored with you, so me, Jessica, and Lisa got your moody ass out of the apartment. With Wilson's assistance, of course. Love him." House rolled his eyes.

Jessica and Cuddy came from down the hall with Rachel. "You guys ready?" Cuddy asked.

"Yep," Rob walked into the kitchen with the empty plates, and came back out with the jacket she brought. "Let's go."

_House's Memory of that Day_

_"Greg!" Rob opened his front door with the key from on top of his door frame. He wondered for a moment how she reached it, then he saw Cuddy walk in with Jessica._

_He groaned, "I just got home!"_

_"I know." Jessica nodded. "So you haven't had time to get comfortable yet, so drop your backpack, and we'll go."_

_He looked suspiciously from woman to woman, "Go where?"_

"I can't believe I let you people talk me into this." House stated when they were in the car. "And I can't believe you're driving," he whined.

"Do you ever shut up?" Jessica asked, her eyes still on the road.

"Not really." He turned his head to look at her, "Come on Jess, you should know that by now."

"Don't call me 'Jess'. You should know that by now." House and Rob smiled.

"I bet you never thought you'd use all of these seats," Rob said, not looking at anyone in particular.

"Yeah," House looked at her in the backseat with Cuddy and Rachel, "and now we can't ride in your dad's awesome car."

"Greg, it's only two seater anyways." Rob told him.

"Fine, you and me would take it and go bowling, or drinking or something."

"I'm surprised you wouldn't take Lisa." Jessica said.

"Yeah, why aren't I coming." Both he and Rob looked away and tried not to smile. "Oh, haha. Why aren't I going on a car ride with you, you pervert?"

"Because, if in my daydream, you went with me, I would feel compelled to at least mention what we would do besides driving, and since there are young ears in the car," he glanced at Rachel, "you would get pissed, and hit me." Everyone nodded like, 'yeah'. "Later though, I promiss to go into detail about what would happen on our car ride." Cuddy smiled, pretty much against her will.

"Ew," Rob said, making a face. "I may have wanted you to hook up, but I didn't want the details of the actual, 'hooking up'. Plus, we're going to see a kids movie."

"And that's the part I can't believe," he mumbled and turned around again.

_"No." He refused._

_"Yes," Rob insisted. She was holding his cane-free hand, and they were in line at the movie theater. Waiting to get tickets to see _Mulan._ The latest Disney flick that House was being dragged to, by two kids in single digits, and a woman. He wasn't even going to have sex with the woman was what was killing him! He could stand plays and kids movies, if he was going to see someone naked, but no. He had zilch chance of seeing Cuddy naked. Not really that he wanted to, not right now. Not after Stacy just having left, and the whole bit about a chunk thigh being fairly recently missing, and it being partly her fault...Nah, he still wanted to see her naked._

_"Why?" He asked Cuddy, who was holding the hand of his other cousin. The one she was slowly, but surely, corrupting the mind of._

_She smiled mockingly at him, "Come on House, I know you love _Mulan_."_

_"Totally," Rob nodded and answered very seriously. "He's seen it like five times since it's come out."_

_"I think you mean _you,_ have seen it five times since it came out." Jessica said._

"I'm not seeing this," House refused.

"Oh, yes you are," Cuddy corrected, smiling up at him. He gave her a look of disgust.

"Greg, it's OK." He looked at Rob. "I know you've been dying to see _Gnomeo and Julliet_."

"Completely," he agreed sarcastically. "I'm not seeing it because two of the bossiest women I know, three of the most annoying women I know, and the littlest woman I know want to see it. To hell with they want, if it were up to them, we'd be seeing something with dozens of naked women."

Cuddy rolled her eyes and said sarcastically, "Yeah, you know me, naked women, booze, and monster trucks and I'm good to go."

"God," House looked away from her, "don't tease me." She smiled.

Jessica smiled down at Rachel, who was very excited to be going to the movies at night, "Whatcha doin girlie?"

"Nothin."

"Do you want to get an Icee?" Rob asked her.

"Uh huh."

"Do you want some candy too."

"Yeah!"

"Rob-"

"Lisa," she cut Cuddy off. "This is a fun night out, and you of course realize that candy and being spoiled is a vital part of a night out for a two-year-old."

"Of course," she said after a brief pause. Cuddy stepped up to the counter and said, "Three adults and two kids. Wait, House," she looked at him, "how old are you again?" He made a face at her.

_House bent down a little and whispered to Rob, "You've seen this already, why do I have to?"_

_"Sh," she put her hand over his mouth. "Shut up, and enjoy the movie."_

_"That's not happening."_

_"It's almost over, calm down." She looked back at the screen, "All she gotta do, is ask him to stay for dinner." A minute later, the credits rolled and they walked out. "There, was that so terrible?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Oh, come on House," Cuddy looked at him. "It was cute."_

_"Whatever Cuddy."_

_She smiled and looked down at the kids, "So, where to for food?"_

_"Somewhere with booze," House grumbled._

_"Or a hamburger place." Cuddy suggested._

_"I dunno, I like Greg's idea." Cuddy and Jessica rolled their eyes at the little girl._

_"There's a place around the corner." Jessica told them. They walked into a little diner looking place and were seated. It was very family-esque__,__ the kids were being loud, kneeling when they were supposed to be sitting, Cuddy was telling said kids to sit on their bottoms, and House and Cuddy were talking. Albeit not usual conversation. Many insults, a lot of their typical back and forth, and while it would never be brought up at work, they were having a nice time. For the first time in a long time, for both of them._

_When the waitress came back and asked them how they were doing, this was Rob's reply, "I'm good. Today's our birthday." She beamed._

_What came next, while it greatly surprised Cuddy, made House deeply proud. Jessica smiled and nodded, "Mhm, we turned 8 today."_

_"Really?" The waitress smiled. "Did your mommy and daddy take you out to celebrate?"_

_Before anyone could correct her, Rob nodded, "Yep. We saw _Mulan_ too."_

_"That's cool. Well, I think you guys should get some sundaes. Whipped cream sound good?" They both nodded, and as soon as she was away, they sat down and stopped acting like adorable little girls._

_"That is so wrong," Cuddy laughed despite herself and shook her head._

_"Hey, we got free sundaes, which is more than you two can say." Rob pointed out._

_The waitress brought out two small sundae cups filled with vanilla icecream, fudge sauce, whipped cream, sprinkles, and, of course, a cherry on top. "Here you two go." She set them down in front of the girls and gave them both spoons._

_"Thank you!" They accepted the utinsils and dug right into them._

_The lady smiled at them, then looked at House and Cuddy and said, "You have beautiful children."_

_Cuddy opened her mouth, then just decided to go with it and said, "Thank you."_

_"With another one on the way too," House threw in. "I don't know how we're going to do _that._" He chuckled. Cuddy gave him a glare only he saw._

_"Oh congradulations! You're not even showing yet."_

_Cuddy beamed, "Thank you." She then looked at House, but her smile turned to a smirk, "Thank you very much."_

_"Are you guys excited?" She asked the twins._

_"Totally," Rob tried to keep her smile from going from mock excitement to rolling on the floor laughing._

_"Well, the check is here whenever you're ready."_

_"Thank you," House smiled as she walked away. He took the spoon from Rob and ate some of her ice cream._

_"'We're expecting another one'?" Cuddy asked. He just shrugged and gave the spoon back._

"We need ice cream!" Rob annouced as they walked out of the building.

"Yeah!" Rachel was quick to agree.

"Are you trying to keep her up all night?" Cuddy asked her quietly.

"Come on Lisa," she picked up Rachel and looked at Cuddy. "Look at this adorable, sweet face. You only got about twelve more years over this, you should treat her now so maybe she will remember it and not make your life hell-er, miserable. Don't say the h word," she told Rachel, "it's bad."

"Ugh, fine!" Cuddy relented.

"Yes!" Rob put Rachel on the ground and the three youngest of the five walked ahead. The twins holding Rachel's hands and swinging her back and forth.

Cuddy smiled and slid her hand into House's, "This is really nice. I almost feel like a normal person."

"Ah, but as Rob will tell you, "Normal's overrated"."

"It is," Cuddy agreed, "but I like to pretend sometimes." She smiled. He did too, and it was nice to pretend sometimes...Especially for her.

Rachel came out of the ice cream shop with a small chocolate cone, no doubt at the insistence of Jessica. She was licking it happily. The two girls came out next, each with their own cone, and Jessica held two extra, one for House, and one for Cuddy. "Don't worry," she said when she handed Cuddy hers, "we got you something that said, 'less fat', or 'half fat', or 'no fat'. I honestly don't remember."

"Thank you."

_Rob pushed open the door and Jessica went out, both singing,_

That's what I said  
A girl worth fighting for

_Rob turned to face her sister and sang_

I want her paler then the moon,  
with eyes that shine like stars.

My girl will marvel at my strength,  
adore my battle scars. _Her sister sang._

_They continued down the street, watched by Cuddy and House, Cuddy was smiling at them. It took them longer to get to the car, Cuddy was keeping pace with House, who was in no hurry, added to his reduced speed. Maybe that was why he was in no hurry. "Who would you fight for Greg?" Rob asked._

_"One with big boobs." Cuddy rolled her eyes and unlocked the car._

_"Wasn't one of the options," Jessica corrected as the two climbed into the backseat after the grown ups were in._

_"There was," Rob started counting on her fingers, "'Paler than the moon, with eyes that shine like stars', 'strength marveling'."_

_"'Good cook'," continued her sister, "'thinks he has no faults'-"_

_"That one sounds pretty good." He said as they pulled out of the parking lot._

_Jessica rolled her eyes and they both sat back against the seats. Her sister nudged her,_

There's a girl back home who's unlike any other.  
But the only girl that's love him is his mother.

_Cuddy laughed, "Wow. You got told."_

_"Shut up." They continued their drive to House's apartment. "So everyone was in on this?" He asked when he saw Jeff and Sadie standing by their car across the street from his apartment. "Unfair."_

_"Who said life was fair Greg?" Rob reminded as Cuddy turned off the engine, and they all got out. Jessica and Cuddy went over to the girls' parents, and House and Rob stayed by the car. The young girl looked at Cuddy, then at House._

How bout a girl who's got a brain?  
Who always speaks her mind.

_He looked down at her, but didn't say anything. "Rob!" Her mom called. "Time to go."_

_"K Mommy." She hugged her cousin, who put his cane-free hand on her back, "Bye Greg." She let go and headed over to her mother. They all got into the car and drove off, leaving House and Cuddy alone in front of his apartment._

_"Well," Cuddy stood next to him, wrapping her light jacket a little tighter around her, "that wasn't awful. Maybe we should do it again."_

_His head tilted, "Cuddy, are you asking me on a date?"_

_Her answer came with something between a scoff and laugh, "No. I was going to ask if you wanted to come with us to the zoo this weekend. Saturday. Full day of fun, and not only will you have Rob, but you'll have Sadie."_

_He looked down, then back to her, "Sorry, can't. thing with Wilson."_

_"Alright," she nodded. He nodded back and walked towards his door. "And House," he looked back as she opened her car door, "you've taken Rob to see _Mulan_ four of the six times?" She smiled and got into her car, driving off before he could even think of anything to say. In truth, he had a really good time, even though he didn't get to see Cuddy naked._

"I'm not sleepy," Rachel insisted for the millionth time since they had gotten in the car.

"Mhm," Cuddy responded as she took her out of the car, Rachel's head immediately going to her shoulder. "Sure you're not. But we should lay down just to make sure."

Rob closed her door and walked with her cousin up to the house, "You had a good time, admit it."

"It was alright," he made a face.

"Nope, you had fun."

"Fine!" He admitted after a moment's consideration. "It was fun. Not completely miserable."

"See," Jessica beamed, "she's a really good kid. You just need to get to know her."

Cuddy came back after a few more minutes, "Alright, she's asleep."

"OK, well, we have to go." Rob said.

"Aw, why?"

"It's our bedtime," Rob told her friend. "We'll see you tomorrow." She hugged her, then House, Jessica doing the same, but in the opposite order. They left, Cuddy locking the door after them.

"That was really nice," she sat next to House on her couch and curled up on his side, his arm went around her. "And not just the normalcy of it." She looked at him, "It was nice to go out with you."

"It wasn't bad," he nodded and looked back at the tv. "Rachel is, a good kid."

"You think you'll ever get really attached?" She asked him teasingly.

"God no, I don't think I could deal with two Rob's in the world, or two Jessica's, for that matter." She smiled and put her head on his chest.

_An: D'you guys like? OK, possible spoilers, but don't hate me if they're wrong, pretty sure they're right. I predict that the girls will be leaving again...because Cuddy will get sick. For real in the show._


	14. VDay Prep

_An: Um...Oh, there will be some Valentine's Day stuff._

Rob pulled a box from the floor onto her lap with a grunt. She and House were sitting in his office, he was on the computer, and she was in his lounge chair with her feet propped up. The team was in their office, doing...something neither House nor Rob bothered to figure out. He heard her opened the package. "Oh hell no." He looked up and she was smiling at the contents of the box. "That asshole, I'm going to kill him."

"Why?"

"He sent me Tone-Ups, and a Shake Weight. That asshole," she laughed. Rob stood up and put the phone to her ear. "You ass...Oh? Well next time you see me, I won't be eating any chocolate," she told as him as she walked out of the office, walking past her sister.

"Ugh!" She exclaimed. "God, we are in a public place."

She shrugged and kept talking to the person on the other line, "Are you trying to get me to practice handjobs or something?"

"Ugh," Jessica shuddered. "...Why do you have Tone-Ups and a Shake Weight in your...He sent her that for Valentine's Day?" She shook her head and took the seat her sister vacated. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised, they're insane. She probably sent him a Playboy magazine."

"What?"

"They're weird," she shook her head.

"Who's weird?" Rob came back into the room.

"You and Wade." Jessica answered. "What'd you send him for Valentine's Day?"

She paused, looking at her sister, then turned to House, "So what are you and Lisa going to do for Valentine's Day?"

The other two rolled their eyes at her deflection, but House leaned back in his chair and answered. "Nothing."

"For real?" Rob asked. She made her sister move her ankle so her legs were parallel, and sat on her. Jessica had long given up on pointing out to her that there was a chair, maybe three feet away, she either let her sit there, pushed her onto the ground (which didn't help for long), or got up herself. "I thought Lisa'd be all over that."

He shrugged, "Maybe she thought I'd screw everything up."

"You mean, 'know'." Jessica corrected. House gave her a look, which she responded to with a polite smile.

_Cuddy was at the Clinic main desk in front of her office, signing some charts. Out of her __peripheral__ vision, she saw a large colorful bouquet, level with about her stomach. The flowers were lowered to reveal Rob's face, "Be my valentine?"_

_Cuddy sighed, put down her pen and turned her attention to the little girl, "What room did you steal those from?"_

_"I didn't, they're from Greg," she extended the bouquet to her. Cuddy raised an eyebrow. "OK, they're for my dad." She put the flowers over one of her shoulders, Cuddy grabbed her file and walked into her office._

_"Don't you mean they're _from_ your dad?"_

_"Nope. She answered, following. "I mean 'for'. Sexist, you think only men can give flowers on Valentine's Day." Cuddy rolled her eyes. "But, these are for you," she tossed Cuddy a pink heart shaped box of chocolates. "From Greg. He said to tell you something like...well it's on the card." Rob did a two finger salute as Cuddy stared at the box, "Well I gotta give these to my daddy if I can find him." She walked out and Cuddy pulled the little card from the ribbon around the box._

Dear Party Pants,

Don't let these go to your ass, thing's big enough already. If you aren't doing anything later, neither am I... You can't tell, but I'm winking right now. And right about now you're rolling your eyes.

_Sure enough, she was._

_Rob almost ran into House, though she was relieved of the giant flower blocking her vision. "You need to hurry up and grow." He told her. "This height is dangerous."_

_"Maybe you need to shrink." She retorted._

_"Yeah, you're like, freakishly tall. Lisa doesn't almost run into us."_

_"Well, Lisa's pretty short," Rob reminded her sister. "Anyway, we're outta here for the day. Dad wants us to help set stuff up for Valentine's Day or whatever."_

_"Pansy," House scoffed. He had acctually forgotten Valentine's Day, felt like Monday to him._

_"Hey," Jessica backhanded him in the stomach. "Don't talk about my daddy that way." She glared at him, then pulled on her sister's arm, "Come on."_

_Rob nodded and started walking, but stopped, "Oh! These are from Lisa." She handed him a box and left before he had a chance to say anything, it was her turned to pull her sister away. House looked down at the heart shaped box, then read the small note attached._

House, happy Valentine's Day. I know it's been tough, and you probably forgot about it, but I'm here if you want to talk. Also I got you some chocolate, and before you throw them out, there's alcohal inside.

_"Did Lisa really get those for Greg?" Jessica asked her sister as they walked towards the exit to wait for their dad. She didn't respond._

_They walked past the gift shop, and the clerk bent over and adressed Rob, "Did your friends like the chocolates."_

_She smiled up at him, "I think so. Maybe it'll brighten their Valentine's Day." Jessica realized what was going on, but didn't have a chance to say anything because their dad came up to them. "Let's go Daddy." She took his hand, and they walked out, Jessica still looking dumbstruck at her twin._

"I can't believe Lisa isn't making him do anything for Valentine's Day." Jessica leaned against the gift shop counter next to her sister. "I did think she'd want to do at least dinner, or, something."

"Mhm," came her absent reply. Jessica kept talking while Rob exchanged a few words with the cashier.

"What are we even doing-" she turned slightly and saw her sister exchange money for a balloon. "Oh."

"Florist is our next stop," she informed with mock enthusiasm.


	15. Nobody But Me

_An: Hurray for insomnia I guess. The lines are just the start of a new scene, I guess. Anyway, read, enjoy, review._

"Did you know Wilson had a cat?" House asked Jessica as he opened the first door to Cuddy's office.

"Yes," she answered. Jessica picked up some files, crossed the small room and filed them away.

"And you didn't tell me why?"

"Because," she turned and looked at him, it was times like these he was utterly shocked she wasn't Cuddy's biological child, not in any way, shape, or form related to her even. Everything she did was just so like the administrator, "if Wilson needs a little time off from the dating, without you getting after him every three seconds about having a cat, I'm going to help him as much as I possibly can."

He looked at her, "You've given the strangely named cat injections, haven't you?" She nodded once. "I still can't believe I wasn't told."

"Greg, the man has dealt with you for years," she opened the wood door to Cuddy's empty office, "he deserves some privacy. If not a national holiday."

* * *

"Did you know Wilson had a cat?" House demanded of his other cousin later that day.

"Yep," she answered, and continued to thumb through a Men's Health magazine.

"Since when do _you_ not tell me stuff?"

"Since always."

"Not even, you tell me everything."

"Nuh uh," she shook her head. "I never told you about important stuff. Like, my mom and Lisa were talking about Invitro, I never told you. And, when Lisa or Wilson had stuff going on that really wouldn't have been assisted by your knowing," she shook her head, "I never told you."

"That doesn't sound like me."

"Well I had a wider variety of influence, not a straight shot of cynicism, and all that is you."

"True dat," he nodded.

"And you've done that before," she closed her magazine and stood, "you didn't tell Wilson that Lisa was doing invitro and was going to ask him to donate." She left him standing in his office, nodding at the memory.

"Wait a minute." Her words sunk in. "What?"

* * *

"Will you leave Wilson alone?" Jessica put her hands out in a questioning manner and stopped in the middle of her cousin's office.

"No," he answered, taking off his glasses and looking at her. "You think you'd know that by now."

"If he's not ready to date yet, then just leave him alone. Or even better, spend time with him."

"You never tell me to not spend time with Cuddy. In fact," he leaned back, "you have spent, about 12 or 13 years telling me to do the opposite."

"Yes, and that was true then, I wanted you to ask Lisa out."

"So what you're suggesting is that you should focus all your energy into something, then when you get it, ignore it?"

"No, what I'm suggesting, is that you give time to your home life, aka, Lisa and Rachel, your social life, Wilson, and work. Now that you have Lisa, you don't have to spend quite as much time on the home life portion of your life when your social life needs something. Just go out, have some drinks, come back home to Lisa." She turned, then looked back at him, "I also think you should send Lisa flowers for Valentine's Day, it would be a nice surprise after a long day of work. It's a few days away, and I think she would really like it. And if Rob was here, she would tell you the act of kindness would result in sex." The lawyer-to-be left the office.

"You are so bossy!" He called after her.

* * *

House opened Cuddy's front door and heard talking and laughing. He made his way to Rachel's room, where he found all four of them on the floor. Rachel was in Jessica's lap, Rob was on her back, rubbing her head, and the other three were laughing at her. "You are so dumb." Her sister chuckled.

"You wanna try?"

"No, I have the good sense to not try to do a handstand after spinning around several times."

"Well that explains it."

"Explains what?" Cuddy asked.

"Why you two never have any fun. Sense is stupid. I know, it's ironic, but true." She looked at House in the door way, "Huh Greg? Having sense takes the fun out of life? With all the crazy, stupid shit he's done-"

"Hey!" Cuddy hissed.

"Stuff. All that crazy, stuff. Don't say that other word," she told Rachel, "it's bad. And I shouldn't be saying it."

"Maybe we should start a swear jar!" Cuddy suggested with mock enthusiasm.

"Oh hell, I would owe so much."

"Fifty cents," House told her as he started to sit down next to Cuddy. "You suck at this by the way."

"You try doing a hand stand after spinning around!"

"Not that, you idiot. Not swearing, that's what you suck at."

"Where did you even get that mouth?" Cuddy asked.

"My ma-ma." She answered.

"Rachel," Jessica looked at the little girl in her lap, "do you want to show Greg what we were doing earlier?" She smiled and nodded. "OK, let's get up." While they were getting up, Rob started flailing in an attempt to get up, "Really?" Jessica asked. Rob stuck out her bottom lip and put a hand up. Jessica rolled her eyes, but pulled her up.

"Wow, you're even lazier than me," House said.

"I wouldn't say that," Cuddy shook her head at him.

"Oooohhhh," Rob put her hand to her mouth, "you just got toooold. Fail."

"Come on," Jessica put her hands out to House.

He gave her a suspicious look, "Why?"

"Just get up." He sighed, but took her hands and barely helped in the task of getting up.

"Put your hips into it," Rob smiled and put her phone down. He turned his head slightly. There was a guitar chord, then...

_No no no no no no no no no_

Then, 'put your hips into it' made since. It became obvious what they had been doing while he was gone. Rachel moving from side to side, mimicking the twins. Jessica grabbed her hand and twirled her around. Rob grabbed House's hands and made him dance. He rolled his eyes, but she just smiled. Her and Jessica switched rolls, but now Jessica made House spin her. All the while, the girls were dramatically mouthing the words,  
_Nobody can do  
__The shing-a-ling  
__Like I do_

_Nobody can do  
__The skate  
__Like I do_

_Nobody can do  
__Boogaloo  
__Like I do_

_Nobody can do  
__Philly  
__Like I do._

Rob lifted Rachel up and set her down next to House, she and her sister started dancing, forcing House to dance with the little girl. He rolled his eyes, but put his hand down next to her. She grabbed two of his fingers and he moved her back and forth in semi circles. Cuddy smiled as he really got into it. Spinning her around and around, at one point, picking her up. Rob picked up her phone and used it as a microphone, her sister "singing" backup. When the song was over, Jessica applauded, and Rob commented on Rachel and House's "mad dancing skills". Rachel didn't her the compliment though, she was passed out in House's arms. Apparently being up passed her bedtime, coupled with being basically rocked, made her very sleepy. House limped slowly over to her crib, and set her down carefully. Cuddy pulled back the blankets and put them over her daughter, then bent over and kissed her forehead. They all walked softly out of the room and Jessica closed the door behind them. "Well we have to go," she told them.

"Yeah," Rob nodded. "Places to go, food to eat. Boyfriends to blackmail." Cuddy looked questioningly at her for the last one. "He sent me Tone-Ups and a Shake Weight, claiming that it was thoughtful because most boyfriends send their girlfriends chocolate on Valentine's Day, thus giving them temptation, and a larger dress size, or something. So I'm going to threaten to tell his mom that, if he doesn't do something I want." She shrugged and walked out.

Jessica shook her head, "I told you, they're insane. We'll see you guys tomorrow." She followed out the door.

A few hours later, House and Cuddy went to bed. She lifted the comforter and sat down, "That was pretty damn cute."

"I told you not to say anything." He reminded as he laid down next to her.

"Come on, you basically rocked her to sleep, and you four were dancing."

"I'm not talking to you." He looked away from her.

"Fine," she rolled her eyes and settled down into her bed further. "I'm still surprised you were home so soon."

"Wilson found a hottie almost as soon as we got their," he smiled and informed her proudly. She chuckled and shook her head. "Seriously." He insisted.

_An: I was listening to Nobody But Me, I just thought that would be cute._


	16. Happy Valentine's Day

_An: OK, this is pretty chapter is pretty Huddy, and there's quite a bit of Jessica. Also, the italicized is a little bit before the ending scene of You Must Remeber This, the non, is that scene._

"Why are you playing with a string?" Jessica sat down in a chair in front of House's desk.

He looked at her, "I'm trying to make a witch's broom." He looked back at the tangled string around his fingers. "Your damn sister showed me, then left." He tried to take the string off, but it just got more tangled. He got frustrated and gave up, putting his hands on his desk. She rolled her eyes and slowly pulled the string off of his fingers. She leaned back and demonstrated how to do the Witch's Broom, she raised an eyebrow. "Nobody likes a show off." She undid the ties and threw it back on his desk. He picked it up and made a cup, "Ha."

"I can do the Eiffel Tower."

"So can I."

"I can do the Witch's Broom."

"...Shut up."

"Nice come back."

"Why are you even here? Don't you have notes to take and juries to schmooze?"

"Lawyer's note. She gave me the day off. Her and Rob are doin stuff." His head cocked to the right. "Rob decided she needed a day off. Something about, if she works too much, she'll turn into a workaholic, uptight beezy. Her words, not mine. So, do you know what kind of flowers you're gonna send to Lisa?"

House sighed, "Why?"

"Because she's your girlfriend, and it'll make her smile." He turned his chair away from her slightly. "Come on, you know she'll like it." He looked at her, "Showing affection is a good thing. You know what she likes. Don't worry, I'll get you a baseball hat, a trench coat, and some shades. Nobody will know that you love your girlfriend." Resigned, he sighed.

* * *

"You didn't have to come you know." House informed her later when they were standing in line at the florist.

"And you didn't have to grab a baseball hat and sunglasses before we left. Or keep looking around the shop like some paranoid drug dealer."

"My reputation is at stake."

"Yeah," she mumbled, "god forbid someone finds out you're not a complete asshole."

"Hey," they looked at Rob. She was standing in the doorway, holding a bouqet of flowers, "what are you guys doing here?"

"He's buying flowers. What are you doing?"

"...Nothing." She put the flowers down. "Certainly wasn't going to send Lisa some flowers and say they were from Greg." She scoffed, "That would be crazy, especially cause, you know, I totally have faith in him to, like, be a good boyfriend. Whaaaat?...Why are you wearing a baseball hat and shades? Afraid someone from the hospital will see you?"

"See?" He looked down at Jessica, "She gets me."

"Well I got to go, pick something she likes, but you know what that is. And make sure you put something on the card that's you, so she doesn't think some else sent it." She said as an afterthought. "This is very unlike you as you know." She walked out of the shop, whistled loudly, and waved her arm, "Taxi!" A black Mercedes across the street honked, and she crossed the street. The car flipped a U when Rob was inside. Her window rolled down, and all they saw was two hands on the steering wheel, and Rob's middle finger stuck up at them. Jessica's hand covered her face as she sighed and shook her head, thinking about just how much of a pain in the ass her sister was.

Cuddy was replying to an email in her office, Rob was on her couch, texting. "I'm surprised you're in here." Cuddy said. "I was expecting you to be in House's office, annoying Wilson, annoying the nurses, or in Peds."

"Yeah, but Greg is doing his thing, Wilson's doing his depressing thing, the Peds kids will get pissed if I go in there now."

"Oh yeah?" She looked at her. "Why?"

"Cause I was gone all day, it's late in the afternoon, so they would get mad that I had been gone all day."

"They're probably going to be mad tomorrow."

"Yeah, but if I go now, it'll be bitter sweet, cause all non family can't visit after," she looked at a clock, "15 minutes."

"Ah," she nodded and continued to type.

"Uh," both women looked up from their electronic devices at the delivery guy in the doorway. "I have a delivery for," he looked at his card, "Lisa Cuddy."

Cuddy's eyes went to the box in his hand, "Um, that's me."

He crossed the room and handed her a clipboard and set the small shoe box thing on her desk. "I guess I should have figured that, with you behind the desk and everything."

Cuddy chuckled, "Yeah. Pretty big indicator."

"Sweetheart, she gotta man." Rob told him.

He looked at Rob and nodded, "Lucky guy." He smiled at Cuddy when she gave him back the clipboard and pen.

"Thank you."

"Have a nice Valentine's Day." He said, and left the office.

"I get a shoe box on Valentine's Day." Cuddy picked it up and put it in front of her. She hesitated, "What happened? What did he send me? Or did you send this?" She sighed, "Is this from you?" Rob shook her head. Cuddy gave her a look. Rob shook her head vigorously. "Hm..." She carefully lifted the top off.

Rob watched her face carefully, and smiled when Cuddy smiled. "So what'd he get you?" She asked dreamily. There wasn't an answer, Cuddy just bit her lip and smiled. "So my boy did good?" She asked knowingly.

* * *

"Are you guys coming over tonight?" Cuddy asked Jessica when they were turning off all the lights in her office.

"No, we're going to let you guys have the night off. I'll probably be doing school work and stuff, unless Rob and I go out."

"OK, I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"Hey, do you know where Wilson is? I wanna talk to him about something."

"Uh, he's either up on a patient floor, or he left."

"OK, thanks. See you tomorrow." Jessica took the elevators up and Cuddy walked out. She looked through the hallways, and saw a upset looking woman in her room. "Are you OK."

The woman looked away from the bottle of pills on a table. "Not really. I've seen you before, with Dr. House."

"Oh," she entered the room. "You're Greg's patient, with the perfect memory."

"That's kind of my problem."

"Oh yeah, I heard about that...This is really none of my business, but I would take the meds." Nadia looked at her. "My sister drives me insane, I cannot tell you how many times we've yelled at eachother, and all the stuff we've done to eachother," after a long pause, she contined, "but I would die without her. Just, something to think about."

* * *

"Are you coming to Cuddy's house tonight?" House asked Rob, adjusting his backpack and stepping into the elevator.

"Nah, it's Valentine's Day. I plan to go home, pour a glass of champagne, video chat with Wade. Though me and Jessica might go out, I gotta find her a one night honey. In the spirit of the season."

The doors opened, "Nice. You are going to get your sister laid."

"Hey, she's a big girl, legally an adult, and she's had sex before. Also she might meet her husband." They stopped at the desk so House could look through some things they had for him. "Seriously, clubs and parties are surprisingly good for that. Example, you and Lisa. By the way, she loved the flowers, or, flower, I dunno, she didn't show me."

"She did?" They made their way out the entrance.

"Yep. Bit her lip and everything."

House knocked on Cuddy's door awhile later. She opened it with a big smile, "Hi."

"Hey. You're smiley."

"I had a good day." She pulled him closer by his lapels.

"Oh yeah?" He looked down at her. "Any particular reason?"

"I have a boyfriend that knows what I like and can make me smile."

He slid his hands up to her hips, "So you did like."

"Yep, and I loved the card. And I think I will do as it suggested." He smiled and kissed her.

"Hm," he pulled back. "Rachel?"

She put her hand on the back of his head and said between kisses, "I put her down a little early, and you were out for awhile."

"Oh, OK then," he pulled her back against him and caught her lips.

_Cuddy laid against House's chest, after their, activities, his arm around her. She cleared her throat and held up the card, "'No words about this. or I will take it back. I can, however, think of something you could do to express your appreciation.' Please tell me you didn't say this out loud."_

_He chuckled, "No, I wrote it down. See?" He pointed at the script, "My hand writing."_

_"Thank God. 'Do you remember this? If not, son of a bitch.' I must say, that last part was nice."_

_"Yeah. Well, I can see from your reaction that you remember it."_

_"I do remember it," she turned on her side and kissed him. "I remember it, and I love it. Did you cut yourself this time?" She smirked at him._

_"No," he plucked the card from her grasp and put it on her nightstand on top of the rose in the shoe box with one thorn on top of two stems of baby's breath. House looked at the scar on his thumb from the thorn of the rose he gave her in med school. He was, of course, acting cute to get to know her, and she, of course, didn't buy it._

House looked at Cuddy when she rolled over onto him, surprised with how content he felt just by having her there. He looked back at the ceiling, and closed his eyes, it was starting to sink in that he should just stop analyzing, and enjoy.

_An: This word counter is weird._


	17. Career Day

_An: There was a chapter I had done before, but it was just some yelling, and some revelations. I'll post if you want, but not vital to the story. OK, the conversations below are happening simultaniously, and the first convo is between House and Jessica, second Rob and Cuddy, twins start out the conversation._

"You moron."

* * *

"That's moronic."

* * *

"Why would you go through your girlfriend's journal?"

* * *

"Why would you have a journal? Especially considering who your boyfriend is."

"You think that having a journal is dumb?" Cuddy asked, very confused.

"Yes."

"May I ask why?"

"Because journals are pointless."

"When I have problems, it's nice to get them out."

"Why don't you just tell Wilson?"

* * *

"I was trying to figure out what was wrong."

"And asking her didn't cross your mind?"

He just stared at her, "Have you met me? Have you met her for that matter? She'd just get even more pissed."

"Yeah," she nodded, "and stealing her laptop, and invading her privacy, went over really smooth. She loved it, I'm sure."

"Hey, she's not pissed at me anymore. So," he stuck his tongue out at her.

"You are such a child."

"I know you are, but what am I?"

"Point proven."

* * *

"Why would I tell-"

"Why wouldn't you tell Wilson? That's like, what Wilson is there for."

"I'm sure he appreciates that that's what you think of him." Cuddy rolled her eyes.

"He knows. Important thing, you guys happily miserible again."

"...That makes no sense."

"Does so."

"How? That's an oxymoron."

"I know, but you guys are filled with contradictions. He's older, you're more mature. You have more power, he can play you like the piano. You're the boss, he bends you to his will. You're both old, but you guys are hot, and have way more sex than anyone is comfortable with. You hate eachother, you guys are in love. And the list goes on and on."

"That makes me feel so special," Cuddy said in a monotone voice, reffering to the 'old' comment.

"Oh come on LIse, it's a compliment. I would totally sleep with you, but I've known you forever." She said with a completely serious face.

Cuddy looked at her, waiting for her to finish her sentence. "...And I'm a girl."

Rob looked up from her phone, and asked innocently, "What?"

* * *

"I like that little girl." Rob said after hearing about House's eventful career day. "She knows what the most important part of the story is."

"Yeah, thought you'd like her. You both being annoying and all." House answered.

"Lise is trying to Rachel into Bryant Park?" Jessica asked.

"Son of a bitch!" Rob exclaimed. "What in the hell? I told her to lay off the preschool. What the hell?" She looked at Chase, "Would you put your two-year-old in private school for preschool?" She looked at her sister, "That place was _damn_ expensive."

"Oh yeah, huh? You guys went there." House said.

"Yep. Private here, public there." Rob nodded. "Private school sucked."

"It wasn't that bad," Jessica said.

"Just because you didn't feel the need to express yourself doesn't mean I didn't."

"You didn't feel the need to express yourself, you felt the need to get in trouble. At least it wasn't Catholic school."

Rob chuckled, "I would have been tossed out."

"Why?" Masters asked.

"When I was little, I was like Greg on crack...now I'm more like Greg on weed," she said thoughtfully, "anyways, I kinda, declined, to wear the uniform sometimes."

"Yeah," both Jessica and House rolled their eyes. Her sister continued, "You 'declined', you certainly didn't throw a fit, or flat out come to school in jeans and a t-shirt. Or, disrupt class, or anything."

"That doesn't sound like her at all," House said.

Rob smiled, "I remember when you came to our career day. I was pissed at him, for, a reason he would like me to keep anonymous."

_Rob and Jessica's 5th grade career day. California._

House jumped when he saw his cousin's glare. "You will come to my career day, and you will behave like an adult."

_"This is my cousin," Rob announced to her class, "Greg." She smiled a smile at him that made him want to smack her, but he refrained. "Take it away._

_He sighed, but after an elbow in the ribs said, "Hello, my name is Dr. Gregory House, I am," he looked down at Rob, "HEAD diagnostitian at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital," he looked back to the class, "with a double speciality in nephrology and infectious disease, who is being forced to attend this event against my will and at my own expense."_

_He heard her teacher say, "Princeton. That's in New Jersey, right?"_

_House looked down at Rob, and said through gritted teeth, "Yes, yes it is."_

_Rob looked at her teacher, "I tried to get his boss too, but she wouldn't take off two days." She looked back at House, "We need to get Lisa into WA."_

_"WA?" Her teacher asked._

_"Workaholics Anonymous." Then she started giggling, "Sorry, but can't you imagine that, 'I'm Lisa, and my friend's daughters tell me I'm a workaholic'. And you could be right next door."_

_House rolled his eyes and reached into his pocket. His face got a look of alarm, "Where's my Vicodin?"_

_"Wilson has it. Oh, I did get their head on oncology, but he's at my house."_

_"You," House started, but didn't finish. "Why couldn't Wilson have done this?" He whined. "You know he'd be way better, and wouldn't make any of the children cry for asking stupid questions."_

_"What happened to your leg?" A kid in the back asked._

_House nodded to Rob and put his arm out in the direction of the kid, "Like that." He looked at the child, and smirked when he saw Jessica trying to hide, or possibly dissapear into her desk, "I fell when I was climbing out yo momma's bedroom window."_

_Jessica blushed furiously and looked like she wanted to die, or possibly kill someone, House couldn't tell. Most of the class laughed, and the teacher had, what would later be described by Rob, as a Lisa Moment. "Dr. House! That is inappropriate to say in school. Especially to fifth graders."_

_"I apologize, but she knew this was going to happen. How do you think I'm doing Jess?" He smiled at her._

_She looked like she wanted to kill him, he was actually surprised that there was no physical damage caused. "Don't call me that Greg."_

_"Come on Jessica, you know you're having fun," her sister told her with a sickeningly sweet smile, matching House's._

_"Why couldn't you just invite dad?"_

_"Because I'm not mad at him, and he wouldn't hate to do this."_

_"Am I done here?" House asked._

_"No."_

_"Yes!" Jessica exclaimed._

_"Just tell them what you do." Rob said._

_"I solve cases that other doctors aren't smart enough to solve, and much of the time my valuable time is wasted in the clinic by the she beast that signs my paychecks. Otherwise known as 'Dr. Lisa Cuddy'...Or 'Party Pants'," he shrugged._

_"Lisa!" Jessica said. "You could have asked Lisa."_

_"I did," her sister responded. "She said 'no'. God, pay attention."_

"I still can't believe you slept with my teacher." Rob said. She laughed, "That was funny."

"That was awkward," Jessica corrected.

"That was funny." Rob insisted.

"Why was it funny?" Chase asked.

"Cause we saw her leaving the hotel he insisted on staying in for the last night, and then at school she started blushing. It was pretty great. I got away with like, everything."

"That was..." Jessica closed her eyes and shook her head, "disturbing."

_An: Believe it or not I actually got the fifth grade career day idea during the summer._


	18. Picture Perfect

_An: Don't know where this idea came from. Before the events of Recession Proof. Enjoy._

"I'm surprised that you two didn't come over last night," House said as he slowly looked through a sketch book.

"We decided to give you guys the night off," Rob replied over the noise of her pencil going across paper. She looked up at him, her head tilted slightly as she took in his appearance. She erased lightly and re-sketched some part of her drawing. "And I had homework."

He let the page fall and looked at her from over his glasses, "How do you do homework?"

"I get the assignments, do what they say, scan, or take a picute of it, send it to my professor. God damn it," she erased harder. "Why is your face so weird?"

"Go to hell," he said indifferently and went back to looking through the pages.

"Hey," Chase greeted as he walked into the office.

"Hey," Rob repeated absently, focused on the drawing in her lap.

"What are you drawing?" He asked.

"I wouldn't call this 'drawing', I'd call it 'mangling'." She responded.

He leaned over and looked at the pad. "Wow." He said in amazement.

"I know," she turned the page so fast it almost ripped, "it sucks." She sighed deeply and shook her head. "I'm done with you for right now," she said to House. Rob looked up at Chase, working her jaw back and forth in thought, "Do you have a few minutes?"

"Um..."

"She wants to draw you." House said. "And no, that's not a euphamisim. She wants you to sit down, and stare at something while she moves a pencil across the paper." He turned another page, "Why are there so many of us in here?"

"That's my people book," she stood up, "an old one. There are probably a few of Lise and Stacy in there when they went through their long hair phase." She closed her eyes and shook her head, "That was a terrible time for us all. Though I must say Lisa pulled it off better than Stace did. OK," she grabbed Chase's hand, "come with me." She took her supplies, and Chase, out onto the balconey.

"Don't scar my fellow with your lady parts," House ordered.

"Eh, you've seen girl parts before. And a wide variety, shouldn't be a problem." The door shut behind them. House stared at the drawing, smiling slightly, against his will. He remembered when she drew this, and the picture after it. It was of Cuddy and Jessica, a month before they moved out of New Jersey. It wasn't exactly the scene of course, but it was close. It was one of those rare days that Cuddy relaxed, the girls were gernerally good for that.

_Cuddy had gone with the girls and Sadie to the park to feed the ducks or something. House was looking forward very much to that day, Wilson was out of town, he had just finished his case, and Cuddy was preoccupied with his other annoyants, he was going to be alone all day, and possibly the next if Jessica and Rob stayed the night at her house. And then he got a 911 page from Cuddy. A decade ago, the fact that she paged him to a coffee shop would have made him say 'To hell with that', the suspicion that it was not an emergency making him not go, but now, he couldn't resist for long, the thought that one of the girls got hurt, or something was wrong kept popping in his head, forcing him to drive to the coffee shop. Cuddy was not happy to see him, quite the opposite, she sighed and asked what he wanted. He didn't actually answer for a moment, she was wearing a knee-length sundress. Lisa Cuddy, was wearing a light yellow sundress, and flip flops. And she looked good. Really good. And his suspicions were confirmed when the girls came up to them with their mother, smiling, and one of them handed Cuddy her pager. It was suggested very innocently that House join them, it did surprise him who said it. Sadie usually kept out of his love life, or lack thereof. He also noticed that the only ones dressed for a park visit were Rob and Jessica, House would never say it out loud, but Jessica looked cute in her dress, and Rob looked same as always in her usual jeans and t-shirt. But Sadie, Sadie looked like she was going to a meeting, or dinner. Cuddy rolled her eyes and grabbed her drink before walking out, she knew she wasn't going to have her nice day off with a friend and her daughters, it didn't matter what she or House said, he was going to be with them the rest of the day. They walked to the park, and just wandered down the path. Jessica was walking with her mom and Cuddy, talking about things, House and Rob were several feet behind. House was demanding to know when she betrade him, when she joined the enemy. She insisted that she did not have any idea what ever he could be talking about. They got to the pond and sat down at a picnic table with their girly drinks. Sadie said something like 'oh darn'. She had "just remembered", that she had a late lunch meeting with a business associate. She asked if it was fine to leave the girls with them. The twins were glue and he and Cuddy were paper. Without glue, the paper wouldn't stick together for long. Cuddy and Jessica went down by the pond, tearing off small pieces of bread and throwing them into the water, watching the small ducks flock to the food. The other two watched them, more, Rob watched the pond, and House watched Cuddy's ass. They were completely at peace. When he looked over at Rob, he saw the wheels in her head turning. He asked her what she was thinking about, she told him she was trying to figure out what about this scene made her want her sketch pad, and how to draw the sun reflecting off the water. They heard a squeal. A goose was coming up onto the shore, Cuddy wrapped her arms around Jessica's waist and turned before trotting away from the giant goose. The bag of bread was abandoned, the large bird digging through it, and the two not running from a bird had fallen back onto the table top, laughing._

He smiled, the detail this child could recall. It was perfect. Everything, Cuddy's smile, each individual curl was defined, the sun hit their hair, changing the color in certain spots. It looked like a picture was taken that they were posing for, like Cuddy thought it would be cute to lift Jessica off the ground, them both smiling their heads off. He turned the page, it was of him and Rob. It showed them on top of the picnic table, her head bent over her sketch pad, and House with his arms on his knees, watching her. Just the tops of their heads were shown, not their faces. All of Rob's drawings, starting at a fairly young age, looked like someone just pulled out a camera.

His door opened and he looked up. Rob turned her pad to face him, displaying Chase, smiling and looking down with the buildings of New Jersey as a backdrop. "What'd you think?"


	19. Experience

Jessica opened House's office door and stuck her head in, "We're going to the zoo." She took a step back and continued down the hall.

House sat there, slightly stunned. "What?" He stood up, grabbing his cane, and walked after her. "Hey!" He called when he saw her in the elevator, the door closing. She rolled her eyes and pressed a button, but from the way the door started closing faster, he was guessing it wasn't the 'hold door' button. He sped up his limp and threw his cane out. The door opened and he stepped in.

"So you still do that?"

"Yes, and you still tell me something I don't want to hear, then leave. Though you usually take the stairs. Are you pregnant?"

"Yes," she looked at him with a straight face.

"No you're not." He turned his entire body and looked at her, "You wanted me to catch you. Oh you manipulative bitch." The doors closed.

She looked away from him and straight ahead at the metal door, "She wants you there."

"Why does no one think I'm coming?" He asked and looked forward as the door opened.

"I don't know," Rob stepped in, standing between her relatives.

"Wilson bet me $200 that I wouldn't show up."

"Yeah," Rob nodded, "I offered let her go up a few hundred."

House looked at her, dumbstruck. "You thought I wasn't going to come?" He looked back at the steel door, "Why does no one think I'm coming?"

Both girls looked at him, and answered in unison, "Experience."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" He asked himself and stepped out into the lobby.

"Experience," they said as the doors closed.

_An: I know, short, but I'm workin on it right now...Probably literally._


	20. Recession Proof

_An: And with another chapter on the way. Translations available at the bottom (you'll understand)_

"Hey," Rob sat in one of the chairs in front of House's desk, "what's up?"

"Feeling depressed that no one has faith in me."

"Ah," she nodded. She took a rubber band out of her pocket and wrapped it around her fingers a few times, then repeated the process.

"What are you doing?"

"Tying a rubber band in a knot with one hand."

"Let me see," he put his hand out to the piece of rubber.

She put her hand behind her, "Gimme Bally and I'll give you my rubber band."

He grabbed Bally and tossed it to her, which she caught with one hand, then shot the rubber band at him. She leaned back on the back legs of her chair and tossed it up. After a few moments, House asked, "How did you do this?" She put her hand out, he gave it back, she demonstrated once again, then gave it back. He tried once more before finally getting it, "Yeah."

He looked at Rob, who had Bally between her head and shoulder, her eyes closed. She sighed contentedly, "Oh Bally, how I missed you."

* * *

"Hola," Jessica sat down on the edge of House's desk. "Spanish for 'Hello'."

"Why is your ass on my desk?" He took off his glasses and folded his hands on his desk, "English for 'Why is your ass on my desk?'."

"I dunno," she shrugged. "Lazy person for 'I don't know'."

"Get your ass off my desk. House for 'Sit in a chair'."

"Can we stop doing this?"

"Pourquoi pas. French for 'Why not?'."

"Fantastic," she turned and sat down in the chair her sister had vacated almost ten minutes ago. "Don't screw up Lisa's dinner. Just pretend to be an adult for one evening."

"Looks like someone has turned around their thinking."

"Eh, I have faith that you'll go, but not that you'll behave. She's getting an award, just be quiet, and then you can mock and be loud as soon as we get outside."

"Oh god, you two are coming?"

"Of course we are."

"Well you don't have to worry. I have something planned." She raised an eyebrow, "Really, I will come to work in short shorts if she doesn't like it." He held his pinky out to her.

She smiled and stood up. When she got to his office door, she stopped and turned around, "What exactly do you have planned?"

"Mariachi," he said with a Mexican accent.

She smiled, "Beuno. A ella le encanta el mariachi."

"Si." He smiled and nodded as well.

"Tu as mariachi?" Rob asked when she came in.

"Oui mademoiselle."

"Oh, j'aime bien beaucoup. Tu es intelligent monsieur."

He nodded once, "Je sais."

"English s'il vous plait," her sister requested.

"But you're doing so well in French," Rob smiled.

"Shut up Rob," she turned and walked out.

"Elle est bizzare," Rob shrugged.

House shook his head, "Non, c'est tu."

"Merci," she smirked.

* * *

"I didn't know she liked mariachi," Wilson told Rob as they were walking out of the hospital.

"Oh yeah, she loves it."

"I thought he was trying to be an idiot."

"Nope." They pushed open the door, "I have to go get changed." She kissed his cheek, "See you there."

"Bye." She turned and walked towards her car, "Nothing slutty!"

"Ugh!" She looked at him and kept walking backwards, "You, Lisa, and Jessica are no fun! Only Greg was supportive of my choice to come in a cocktail dress that barely covers my ass!" She smiled and turned back around, Wilson smiled at the ground and walked towards his own car.

* * *

"I cannot wait to see their faces when that band comes in," Chase laughed. He, Foreman, and Masters were outside the dining hall that the award was being awarded to Cuddy in.

"It should be pretty great," Foreman agreed.

"Why would he pay $2,000 dollars for a mariachi band?" Masters wondered.

"Cause she loves it," they heard a voice answer. They looked up and saw one of the girls. Her hair was down and curly, light make up, stilettos, and a light blue knee-length dress, a slit on one side up to her mid thigh. Chase gave a low whistled. It was clear which twin it was when she blushed slightly. "Contrary to popular belief, Lisa's happiness is very important to Greg."

"Of course," Rob scoffed. She came to a stop next to her sister. Dressed in a black, low cut cocktail dress that stopped mid thigh, and small black heels. Her hair was held back by a clip, one curl hanging down. She was on Wilson's arm. "That's why she puts up with his crap."

"Why are you holding onto Wilson's arm?" Foreman asked.

"Cause I'm his date. We look cute together don't we? Ya know, besides the whole thing where he is one of my dad's best friend, and Wilson's about five years younger than my mom. So, literally twice my age."

"Other than that, you guys are adorable." Jessica nodded, then rolled her eyes. "There is no way you would ever hook up with Wilson."

"Hence the sarcasm, dummy."

Cuddy walked up to Jessica and exhaled, "Any luck?"

"Sorry, no," she gave an apologetic smile.

"Damn Lise," Rob looked at Cuddy. "You look hot." The Dean was dressed in a purple knee-length dress, low cut and perfectly fitting (as always) with matching purple pumps.

"Thank you," she responded without actually listening to what she said. She was very distracted.

Jessica squeazed her hand, "He'll be here Lise." She looked at the younger woman and nodded.

"You're right, I need to calm down."

"I got some Valium if you need it," Rob offered. Both Cuddy and Jessica gave her and annoyed look, she just shrugged and said to herself, "More for me. Look Lise, he's coming. Why else would he spend two-"

Her sister's hand clapped over Rob's mouth, "She doesn't know what she's saying, ignore her." Cuddy looked at them, slightly confused as to what was going on, but shook it off and walked inside. After everyone was seated, and listening to the first speaker, well, almost everyone. Cuddy kept biting her lip and looking at the door, Jessica was giving her reassuring looks and nods, and Rob was leaned back in her chair, playing with her nails. About five minutes into the welcome, informative speach, the door burst open and the mariachi band House hired came through the door. The girls and Wilson first looked to the door, then at Cuddy. She was smiling.

She knew that any second House was going to come limping through the door, smiling, and very pleased with himself, both with how well he knew her, and what an enterance he made. But that didn't happen, and when it didn't, Cuddy stopped smiling. She kept her eyes on the door for another minute, but when she saw Rob's expression, confused, and sitting up, she knew he wasn't coming. She felt her phone vibrate in her purse, she pulled it out and read it from under the table, it was from Rob. _Ill kill im if u wan me 2._ Cuddy looked at her and shook her head. After the whole dinner was over, Cuddy didn't feel like sticking around to talk to anyone. So she just took Rob out to Wilson's car. Rob was rubbing her eye like a small child, and saying, "Lisa, I'm sleepy." Wilson took her to her house after talking to House at the bar.

* * *

House was limping down the street in the rain, very drunk. A car honk and pulled up close to the sidewalk, driving next to him. The window rolled down and Jessica said loudly so he could hear her over the rain, "Why are you walking in the rain this early in the morning?"

"Why are you driving in the rain this early in the morning?" He contered. "...Is it really morning? It looks dark."

"Technically it's morning. And young adults go out to clubs and stuff, we usually stay out pretty late. Get in the car," she stopped. "You're gonna get sick."

He moved towards the car and noticed that Jessica was the only person in it. House opened the door and sat in the passenger's seat, "Where's Rob?"

"She's at home," the girl answered as she started driving again. "She drank too much wine and got sleepy."

"You look pissed." He told her.

"Not nearly as pissed as Lisa is."

"So why's Rob not here?" He asked again. "I forgot what you said."

She took a deep breath, her eyes on the road, and iron grip on the steering wheel, and released it slowly, "She is asleep at home, because she had too much to drink, and got tired. Guess what, that's what you're going to do."

"No!" He grabbed the steering wheel with one hand and turned it slightly, making them swerve momentarily.

Jessica hit his hand away, "Are you insane! Only drivers turn the steering wheel."

"I have to go to Cuddy's," he told her firmly.

"That's not a good idea." She warned.

"It is a very good idea," he insisted. "I have to tell her something."

"I'm not taking you there," she said clearly.

"I'll tell you what, you take me to Cuddy's or I grab the steering wheel again."

"Grab the steering wheel again, and I will smack you and take you to stay the night at my house," she threatened.

"Take me to Cuddy's, or I jump out of the car, and walk."

"Go ahead," she told him icily.

"I know, that you could tell by how I'm slurring, that I'm drunk, and crazy enough to do it."

"I don't care." She insisted.

"Nope, you won't let me, because you'll feel guilty about it."

She slammed on the brakes at a stop sign so fast, they squealed. Her head jerked to face him, "I don't want you going over there, because you're drunk, and I don't want you saying something stupid to ruin the best thing that's ever happened to you."

"In vino veritas."

She started driving again, "Just because a very large part of you is incredibly stupid, does not mean you want to break up with Lisa."

"I don't want to break up with her," he said, suddenly very defensive. He was low in his seat, so he had to look up when he pointed at her, "Older, _way_ more attractive you is awesome. She gets me. And she is sexy..." he looked down for a minute, then back at her, "What was I saying?"

"Older more attractive me gets you and is sexy."

"Oh, right. She makes a very crappy doctor, happiness makes me a crappy doctor, and she has made me the crappiest by far. Like, I'd rather make her happy, than have my patients live...Is that bad?"

"Yeah, it kinda is."

"Is it bad I don't care?"

"Yeah," she nodded, "it kinda is."

"Well I don't care." He turned in his seat to face the road. "Does she hate me?"

"...She was really upset that you weren't there."

"Well, my night of drinking led to this lovely revelation." He sat up a little and looked out the window, "This looks like not the way to my house." He looked at her, expecting an anwer, "So I think you can agree that I win everything dispute we ever have, or you forgot how to get to my house."

"Greg, shut up. And you are so lucky these aren't leather seats." They were quiet until she pulled to a stop in front of Cuddy's house. "Don't say anything stupid." He nodded, opened the door and pulled himself out of the car.

_An: Conversation went as follows: "Good. She loves mariachi." "Yes." "You have mariachi?" "Yes." "Oh, I like it alot. You are intelligent mister." "I know." "English please."..."She's weird." "No, that's you." "Thank you." If you don't know what "In vino veritas" means, have you never seen Tombstone?_


	21. Yes, We Are Going To The Zoo

House heard his phone ringing, alerting him to the light shining on his face, he flipped it open, then closed and put his face into the pillows. He was just about to drift off to sleep, the door banged open, he heard little feet, and someone very small jumped on the bed besides him, then someone much, much larger hit the bed, almost bouncing him. He slowly unscrunched his face and looked at Rachel and Rob. The smaller girl was smiling genuinely, and Rob was smiling sickeningly sweet smile. "Why Greg," she started loudly, "you don't look so good!"

He put his hand on her face and pushed her back, "Go away."

"Can't, we're going to the zoo."

He opened one eye at a time slowly, "She wasn't kidding about that?"

"Nope." She shook her head.

Rachel grabbed House's hand and started tugging. She said quietly and excitedly, "Come on, you gotta get up!"

"See, Greg, she's all excited, and dressed, and we've been waiting for you to get up. Don't you know that children can't wait very long when promised animals and treats?"

House looked from his cousin to his girlfriend's daughter. She was giving him puppy dog eyes, "Pleeeeease." He had always had a soft spot for Rob, and right now, Rachel looked exactly like her. He actually heard, "Please Greg." A half hour later the were standing in line to get into the zoo.

House put on sunglasses and was leaning heavily on his cane. "I think you guys should get me one of those wagons and pull me around."

"I am not pulling your fat ass around," Rob told him.

"Language," Cuddy reminded her sternly.

"Sorry." She bent down and said into Rachel's ear, "Don't repeat anything I say." Rachel looked up and nodded. "Good girl."

"So what do you want to do when we get in there?" Jessica asked her.

"See the monkeys!"

"Monkeys are awesome!" Rob exclaimed, drawing the attention of many of the of the people in line around them. "What? Girl can't get excited about monkeys?"

"You're silly," Rachel told her.

"Oh yeah? Am I silly when I do this..." She did a handstand and took a few steps, then stopped and looked up at Rachel. House adjusted himself and poked Rob in the stomach. When she started to fall back, she arched her back and rolled. She laid on the ground, her fingers intertwined on her stomach, and looked up at House. "I could have hurt myself," she stated.

"And it would have been amusing."

"Yes it would have," she agreed and accepted her sister's hand.

"That's not nice," Rachel told him.

"She's starting her monkey training, I'm helping."

She shook her head, "No."

House shot an accusatory look to Rob, "What did you do to her?"

"Same thing you did to me," she shrugged.

"Come on Rach," Jessica put her hand out to the little girl, who grabbed it. "These people are crazy."

"Come on Mama," Rachel reached back for Cuddy's hand as well. She smiled at her daughter and walked forward with them.

"Why did you pushed me over?"

"Because you made me come here."

"Because you didn't go to Lisa's thing," she defended, her voice raising a little.

"Because I was _drunk_."

"Because you're an idiot!"

"When did you start yelling at me? You never yell at me."

"I always yell at you."

"Not like this," he shook his head. "You sound like Cuddy."

"Oh god!" The look on her face was a mixture if shock and horror. She started patting random points on her body, "Ugh. Get it off, get it off! Is it gone?"

He looked over her carefully, "Maybe." She started walking again and shuddered.

"What's wrong?" Cuddy asked when the two caught up.

"I had some Lisa on me," she shook her head, "it's gone now." Rob lifted Rachel up and settled her onto her hip and walked forward, leaving Cuddy and Jessica confused. "So, did you want to get a wagon?" She asked Rachel, who shook her head. "You sure?" The little girl nodded. "Well maybe we should get one, then you can pull me and Greg around."

Rachel giggled, "No way!"

Rob sighed, "Alright."

Jessica leaned over to Cuddy's ear, "We're going to need a wagon-"

"Yeah," she nodded.

"But she doesn't want one." House said.

"You obviously haven't done this in awhile," Jessica said.

"She wants to run around, but she will get tired, and carrying her the whole time we're here will get tiring." Cuddy explained. He nodded. Sure enough, Rachel did want to run around. At first, the twins kept up with her. To House, it sort of looked like herding. They let her climb to get a better view, but always kept her from going to far, same thing with her distance from her mom, they obviously had practice with this. She stopped to watch the monkeys for a rather long time. This whole, trip, was turning into torture for House. Being hung over, plus all the walking they were doing, was really hurting his leg. He put a hand against the rail and put his forehead on top of Cuddy's head. "You OK?"

"Head hurts, leg hurts."

"Maybe we should get you a wagon."

"That's why I suggested it."

"Gift shop time!" Rob announced.

"No, giraffees first!" Rachel pleaded.

"Let's bounce," she put her hand out and Rachel took off.

House groaned and started walking. Cuddy slipped her hand into his left, "Do you want to sit down for a minute?"

"No, I'm good."

"OK, tell me if you need to."

The rest of the afternoon was kind of amusing for him, watching Rob and Jessica play and run around with Rachel. Rob used her complete lack of caring about her image for good and not evil, and Jessica played Mommy, to both of them, superbly. They went to the gift shop after seeing the giraffes. It must have been the best day of Rachel's life. She got anything and everything she asked for that Cuddy let her get, including, but not limited to, a monkey backpack, a little stuffed giraffe to go with the one she had at home, a plush robin, Icees, a churro, a hot dog, cotton candy (both pink and blue), and an elephant hat. "Are you guys competing for most liked, sort of relative?" Cuddy asked them, to which they both looked at each other and replied coyly, "Maybe."

Rob and Jessica most definitely were not. They bought him a very large stuffed dolphin, a monkey backpack, "So you and Rachel can match." and when they were leaving the store, Rob slapped a baseball cap on his head and pulled it over his eyes. The hat, he later learned, had and picture of a cougar, and said, "I 3 cougars." To which Jessica pointed out that Cuddy was younger.

"Yeah, but they didn't have a hat that said 'M.I.L.F.' because it's not an animal. And technically, she was, but she's reformed now."

Cuddy rolled her eyes, "Well thanks." She took Rachel's hand and walked ahead with Jessica.

"Why is there no word for you?" Rob asked House.

"Because I'm that amazing."

"Seriously, you only date younger chicks."

He chuckled, "Did you just call Cuddy a chick?"

"Well, she's like 9 years younger than you. Eh," she shuddered, "that was so wrong."

"What?"

"Everything in Lisa's sexual history."

"Well that's not something you hear everyday."

_An: I may have another chapter up tonight, and hurray, Bombshells is on tonight!_


	22. Forget Your Troubles

_An: This is a few days before Bombshells =( And Rob and Jessica are singing right now_

_Forget your troubles c'mon on get happy  
_Rob reached across Cuddy's dining room table and grabbed an apple. She saw her sister walked behind her and tossed the apple back.

Jessica caught it, and smiled,  
_Ya better chase all your cares away_

"Wow," Cuddy came out of the kitchen with a bowl of pop corn, "we get dinner and a show?"

_Shout hallelujah, c'mon get happy,_

"No, we're a little late on the entertainment." Rob corrected.

"Well, we can watch you now," she held up the bowl and put a kernal in her mouth. "Got popcorn."

"Can't, we gotta go."

"Yeah, she and Greg are hanging out, I'm doing some stuff for a friend."

Rob nodded, "I've realized that I haven't been to Greg's house since I've been here, but he's probably coming over later." She rolled her eyes and shook her head as she pulled on her jacket.

"It has not changed much, if at all," Cuddy warned.

"Oh thank Jesus," she sighed, relieved. "That man is whipped."

"Yeah," Cuddy scoffed. "Totally."

"Hey, I'm not happy about it either. He was my idol," she opened the door, stepped out and closed it behind her.

"Sadly, I think she's serious." Jessica said, grabbing her keys.

"I know she's serious," Cuddy sighed.

House looked over the back of his couch when he heard the lock click, and his door open. Rob came in, slipping a keyring back into her pocket. "Why do you have a key to my apartment?" He asked her while she was taking off her jacket.

"Why wouldn't I?" She put her hand on the back of the couch and jumped over, landing next to him on her back, "You gave me one, why would I throw it away?"

"When?"

"Uh, probably when I started coming over to your house than my own."

"That would have been a smart plan," he nodded.

She sighed, and looked around the room. "This place looks exactly the same. Though, I do sense a distinctly feminine presence." She was quiet for a few seconds, "Lisa's got you whipped."

"Does not."

"Then why is the toilet seat down?"

"You can see it from here?" He leaned over and tried to see down the hall into the bathroom.

"No, just a guess, but it is, isn't?" She smirked. "She never even comes over here, but you have it down just in case."

"Shut up, or I won't show you the things that _have_ changed." He threatened.

"Like what?"

"See that case by the piano?" She looked in the direction he nodded. "Trumpet. From John Henry Giles." She gasped, and didn't breathe for a second. "Now go make yourself useful and make me dinner."

"Can I have it if I do?"

"I'll think about it, but I will tell you which author I treated," he baragained.

She glared at him, but put her hand up to him, "Help me up."

House rolled his eyes, "So what you're telling me, is that you can do a flip, but you can't roll over the edge of the couch, or sit up?"

"I'm lazy," she shrugged. He rolled his eyes but extended his hand to her.

"That is so not right!" Rob exclaimed as she pushed open Cuddy's door.

"Why not?" House put up his hand in a questioning manner.

"You can't be Team Switzerland!"

"Why can't she love them both?"

"Think about it Greg. Girl's in love with two guys, sweet and dependable, and main character bad boy. Which one do you want her to choose?"

House was quiet for a minute, "You just ruined it for me."

Rob shrugged, "Not my fault."

"What's going on here, and why are you two yelling?" Cuddy asked.

"I'm drawing parallels Elizabeth!" She shook her head and mumbled, "Freaking Wimberly." Rob threw her fists in the air, "Team Jack!"

"Just curious, what team's your sister?"

Rob stuck out her tongue and put her finger in her mouth. "Deacon."

House's head fell back and he sighed, "Of course she is."

"What in the hell are we talking about?" Cuddy asked.

"Let me translate." Rob offered. She cleared her throat, and in a valley girl voice said, "Oh my god! You like, totally can't be Team Switzerland!" Then in a gruff voice said, "'Why?' 'Cause that's like, totally a metaphor for your relationship with Lisa.' 'Fuck you' 'It's nah my fault you didn't see it! Team House!' 'Who does your sister like?' 'Bleh, she like, totally likes Lucas' 'Ugh, of course'." She looked at Cuddy and nodded. "So yeah, that's what that conversation was."

"Why do you sound like a bimbo?" House asked. "And why do I sound like Batman?"

"Why not?" She shrugged.

"He's not a crime fighter," Cuddy shook her head and walked into the living room.

Rob made a shock and disgusted noise, and her jaw dropped. "How could you say that Lisa? Have you never heard any of his metaphors?"

Her head poked in, "Stop yelling, you'll wake my daughter."

"Mama!" They heard from down the hall. Cuddy sighed and rolled her eyes.

"I'll be back." She pushed her hair out of her face and walked down the hall.

Rob looked at House, "First one in the living room picks the movie." They stared at each other for a few secondsm then Rob took off. House hooked his cane around her ankle and started off quickly when she ate it. Rob pulled herself off the ground and ran, dodging House and his cane, and flew to the couch. She rolled over and put her hands beneath her head, smirking, "I win."

Cuddy came back down the hall with Rachel on her hip. The little girl refused to go back to sleep now that she knew people were here. And when she saw the people that were here, she started squirming until Cuddy let her down. Rob and House looked away from the tv. Rob smiled and hoisted Rachel up when she came around the couch by her. Rachel sat on House's left thigh, with her knees on the couch and started talking to Rob. She was filling her in on her day. After she was done, she asked, "Where's Jessica?"

"She's helping one of my friends with her work."

"Oh." She turned so she was sitting on Rob's thigh and facing House. "Hi."

"Hey," he gave her the dude nod.

"How're you?"

"Good. You?"

"Good, taday, me and Marina went to da park, and den we came home, and Jessica came, and there was a lady dat talks funny in, by the car."

House looked at her, "Did she talk like a cowboy?" Rachel nodded. "Did Jessica tell you her name?"

Rachel nodded again, "I don't member it."

"Was is 'Stacy'? Rob asked. Rachel looked at her and nodded. "Yeah, Jessica came to pick up something for Lisa today," Rob told her cousin. "She was having lunch with Stacy too."

"What happened?" Cuddy asked. She shook her tea and opened it.

"We're watching _Stepford Wives._" Rob said. She pat her lap, "Go ahead." Cuddy rolled her eyes and sat next to her.


	23. Leaving

The team was waiting for House to come in, they were sitting at the table, trying to ignore Rob sitting in a chair by the wall, with another chair in front of her with her feet up. She had her eyes closed and headphones in. Her chest was rising and falling regularly, Chase could verify that, so it seemed like she was asleep. "What's she listening to?"

Taub pulled a headphone out and they heard Brian Johnson's voice blasting out of the speakers, the song ended, then restarted.

_She was a fast machine_

_She kept motor clean_

_She was the best damn woman that I ever seen_

"If you guys want to listen to my ipod," she opened her eyes, "just ask."

"You listen to old rock?" Chase asked.

"Yep. That is only the best damn song in existence."

"Is not," House limped in and threw his backpack on the floor next to her.

"Just because you want to have Mick Jager's babies, does not mean that he beats ACDC."

"Never said ACDC wasn't good, but the Stones are better."

"My song is cheerier."

"Is not."

"It's about sex," she raised an eyebrow, "cheery to me." House smirked and took the chair out from under her feet and sat down. "You mother fucker," she said slowly with a quietly outraged look. The entire team and House looked at her. "Huh ha," she smiled, "get it?" House smiled and shook his head.

"Oh, because Cuddy is a mom, and I really wish I hadn't figured that out." Masters shook her head slightly with a disturbed look.

"Yeah, with me, you really should just work stuff out in your head. By the way," she looked back at her cousin, "we're leaving today. Family vacation. And By that, I mean, me, mom, and Jessica are going to go somewhere. Also, you don't have to worry about bumping into Stace, we're dropping her in New York." She sighed. "Why couldn't she insist on seeing you guys? God, that would have been so much fun!"

"You would've locked us in a room with video cameras, huh?"

She chuckled, "Yeah. I would've. Seriously, that would've been interesting to see her reaction on her buddy dating 'the one'. I'd bet on the outwardly shocked, inwardly shocked, and slightly enraged. Cause, come on, if one of my friends started boning my ex, I'd be pissed."

"Yeah, but Stacy doesn't have the anger issues that you have."

"True," she nodded. "I think I'm violent because of her," she stated as she stood up.

"We just established that she didn't have your issues."

"Greg, only you can compete with her issues," Jessica corrected and leaned against the door frame.

"Please, he kicks my issues' asses." Jessica sort of nodded. "And in answer to your question, it can't be healthy to grow up in an environment where one of the main relationships is based on grudging love and sometimes visible hate."

House put his hands up, "What do you think me and Cuddy have?" They smiled at him, and the team tried not to laugh. "Have you been going to see a shrink?"

Jessica rolled her eyes and walked out of the office, her sister following, who turned to face her cousin, she looked at him like he was insane and scoffed, "Greg, come on." House smiled and she left.

House looked at his team's confused faces, then leaned back in his chair and looked away, "She's made every shrink she's had cry."

_"Jeff, this is ridiculous." Cuddy tried to reason._

_"I checked it out this time," he put a finger up, "she has a tough as nails reputation, known to be very good with difficult patients." And, like the universe was slapping him in the face, Rob walked out of the office, looking very bored._

_She looked over her shoulder into the office, and called, "Same time next week, Doc?"_

_Her father looked down at her with a slack jawed stare, "Did you do it again?"_

_"Yup," she answered casually. "Though I think I was slower." She looked at House, who was sitting on a bench, leaning against the wall, "What was it last time?"_

_"Uh," he reached into Stacy's purse and pulled out a small notebook. Rob stepped closer and put her hands on the edge of the bench as he flipped through the pages. "15 minutes, 37 seconds."_

_"And today?"_

_He looked at his watch, "27 minutes." She got a frustrated face and made a fist. Rob had been to a series of therapists in order to help her with her temper. Every single session had ended in tears...and not the small child's._

_"Fine," Jeff put his hands up in defeat. "You win. No more shrinks."_

_"Thank you," House said dramatically as he stood, taking Rob's small hand, "stop trying to change her." He put the strap of Stacy's purse over his shoulder , causing Cuddy to raise an eyebrow, "What Cuddy? Jealous?" and they walked away. Jeff closed his eyes and sighed, and Cuddy rolled her eyes._

_"Where's Jessica?" Rob asked._

_"Bathroom."_


	24. Rob Fights

_An: M'kay, since the girls weren't there for Bombshells, it's just going to be a flashback, this is like, what made Cuddy think of Rachel getting arrested for shop lifting._

_"Ow!" Rob shrieked._

_Stacy got a frustrated look from being interupted for the fifth time and took the cotton swab away from the little girl's face, "Stop moving!"_

_"Stop trying to burn my face off!"_

_"Oh, it's hydrogen peroxide, stop being a baby!"_

_"Hey! That's not nice, Lady-Shrieks-a- lot!"_

_"There was a rat!" She excused._

_"Exactly! It was a rat! Stop being a baby!"_

_Stacy sighed and put the cotton ball back to her face, Rob flinched and moved her face. Stacy grabbed her face with one hand and kept it still, "Stop moving!"_

_Stacy, Rob and House were in one of the exam rooms at the hospital, and Rob was proving to be a very difficult patient, "Shouldn't the one with medical expirience be doing this?"_

_"He's too puffed up and proud to do anything useful."_

_"Which is fine, because I'm fine."_

_Stacy's hand dropped to her her side and she looked at the small child in aggravation, "You have a scrape on your cheek, a scraped elbow and knee, and what looks like a promising black eye."_

_"You should see the other guy."_

_"It was a guy?" House asked. She nodded. "Nice," he put his hand up and she smiled and hit her small hand against his larger one._

_"Don't encourage this!" They heard Cuddy's indignant voice from the doorway. "Lemme see." Stacy moved away from Rob and Cuddy grabbed her face and turned it back and forth. "Wow," she turned to Stacy and put her hand out, "let me see." The lawyer put the cotton ball in her hand. Cuddy lightly touched the bruise forming by her eyes, Rob flinching and pulling her head back._

_"Here," Stacy took the cotton ball from Cuddy and switched places with her. She put more hydrogen peroxide on it and tried disinfecting Rob's cheek. She started swatting at Stacy's hand spaztically, her face scrunched up. "Stop moving!"_

_She made a mad, pouty face, and let Stacy go back to dabbing her cheek, flinching the whole time. "Why does it take an atorney, and a doctor and a half to do this?" Rob asked, accompanied by an offended look from Cuddy. "Why don't you girls go attend to the other dude?"_

_"Why did you hit him?" Cuddy asked. Rob crossed her arms over her chest and got a pissed off look, "He started talking about Jessica, then he pushed her."_

_"Rob, it's sweet that you stuck up for your sister, but he broke his arm."_

_"She twisted her ankle!"_

_"I think that the arm is more severe," Cuddy said calmly._

_"Not to me, and besides, I got a good lawyer, we'll claim domestic abuse." The women looked at each other, and House looked down in an attempt to hide his smirk. "They won't know, we're identical twins, I could claim self defense."_

_"Do you know what you could claim?" Cuddy asked. "'I'm sorry'."_

_"Thanks, but I think I'd like to take my legal advice from the certified lawyer. She went to school for a whole three years to get that. I know, not as impressive as the 4 years you did, but she uses the stuff she learned more often."_

_"House, have you started telling her that I'm not a doctor?"_

_"Rob...?" He qued._

_"You're not a doctor, you're an administrator." She fired off. "You take donors through the pediatric ward to tug at the women's heart strings, but you dress like that to tug at something else a little lower on the men."_

_"Greg!" Stacy and Cuddy had the same horrified expression._

_"It's true!" Rob defended._

_"You," Cuddy pointed at her, "are staying at my house tonight."_

_"I think that's a good idea," Stacy nodded._

_"Then you can keep Jessica too." House offered._

_"Well unfortunately for you," Stacy looked at Rob, "I agree with the doctor. Apologize."_

_Rob rolled her eyes, "What are they going to do, sue me? I'm seven. Send me to juvy? I don't think so."_

_"Expell you?" Cuddy pointed out._

_"Like apologizing would be the difference between expulsion or not."_

_"Well the mother might not press to have your psycho little behind expelled."_

_"She'd get into another school," House dismissed. "She's smart, and her dad is "influencial"."_

_"House, shut up. Don't make excuses for fighting."_

_"Come on," Stacy instructed._

_"But Mooooom," Rob whined._

_"Go." Cuddy said in her authoritative voice._

_"They could make you go to anger management, or therapy." Stacy threatened when Rob just sat there._

_Rob groaned once more, then hopped off the table and dragged her feet on the way out. Cuddy and Stacy followed right behind her, then House decided it could be fun to watch and went as well. "Hey, how are you?" Brenda asked when she passed the desk._

_"Fine, but Lisa and Stacy are making me apologize."_

_"How's your sister?"_

_"Good, she got her foot wrapped, and Mom and Dad are coming home tomorrow." Rob smiled, "She's going to get cruches."_

_"Make sure you give them back when she needs to walk."_

_"Oh, Brenda, you've given me an awful, wonderful idea. Now I could do whatever I want. Mwahahaha."_

_She continued out of the clinic, the women following, "Why can I see you being rushed into the hospital for the same reason?" Brenda asked._

_He gave her an odd look, trying to figure out what the reason was specifically. For one of the girls, a relative, someone close to him...or Cuddy. Which, of course, was ridiculous. If he was getting sent to the hospital for anyone, it was Stacy. They stopped outside a room in the pediatric ward, a woman was standing outside, there was a boy about 9-year-old in the bed with a red cast. Cuddy nudged Rob forward, and she and Stacy looked down at her expectantly. When Rob didn't say anything, Stacy cleared her throat, drawing the mom's attention. "Excuse me," Cuddy smiled, "Rob has something she would like to say. Go on."_

_She stood there with her arms crossed over her chest and looked to the side of the mom. "Holy crap!" House exclaimed. "He's_ nine? _Oh you got nothing to apologize for. If he let himself get smacked around, then thrown off the playground by a girl two years younger, and much smaller, after pushing another girl, matching that description, you got no explanation needed."_

_"Excuse me?" The mother asked._

_"Oh, right, Little Johnny would never bully someone, especially not a girl, especially someone younger than him. Though I suppose you thought Little Johnny would never get his ass handed to him, but the world is full of surprises." He shrugged._

_"Greg, shut up. Rob."_

_She sighed and clenched her jaw, but the smiled like the sweet little girl everyone thought she was, and said, "El puede besar mi culo."_

_Cuddy's jaw dropped and her eyes widened. Stacy and the mom looked confused. House tried very hard not to smile, but looked down just in case. Stacy looked back at him, "What'd she say?"_

_He stepped behind Rob and put his hands on her shoulders, adressing the mother, her said, with the utmost sincerity, "She said she is very sorry, and that it won't happen again."_

_Stacy rolled her eyes, she may not know Spanish, but she did know these two. "That's not what she said," Cuddy mumbled to House._

_"I know that," he said back quietly, "you know that, she knows that, she can't know that."_

_"Let me spell it out four you." Rob gave the sign language translation. "So you don't do sign language either. Then lemme use English. He can kiss my ass," she smiled and walked away._

_Everyone except House looked shocked, Cuddy apologized and went after her, along with Stacy. House chuckled silently. Then asked, "Can I sign your son's cast?"_


	25. Meet the Family

_An: Today we see Sadie and Jeff, and soon, Wade. It's a bit longer than my usuals.  
_"Shut up, and gimme," Jessica reached forward and grabbed her ringing phone out of her sister's hand. "Go. Annoy Mom for awhile."

"Fine. Mom, tell Jessica to stop being a beezy and let me talk to Lisa!"

She called. "Stop stealing her phone and I just might think about it!" She yelled back from the other room.

Jessica rolled her eyes and answered her phone. "Hey Lisa. What's up?" Rob came back into the room, munching on a piece of bell pepper. She watched as the smile melted, and was replaced by fear.

Rob slowly stopped chewing, "What?"

"OK Lise," she said, not listening to her sister, "alright." She hung up the phone and let her arm drop to her side.

"What?" Rob repeated.

"Lisa said that they found a mass on her kidney, and imaging showed masses on her lungs. That's not good, is it?" She knew it wasn't good the moment Cuddy said "mass", but the look on Rob's face, the way her eyes looked wet.

"No it's not," she answered quietly and shook her head slightly.

Their mom came in from the kitchen, "Baby, what's wrong?" She asked Rob.

"Mommy, we have to go home," she told her, on the verge of tears.

"You bitch!" Cuddy looked at the door of her hospital room, and saw two familar faces, along with two she hadn't seen in years, but recognized instantly. Rob pointed an accusing finger at her, "You scared the hell outta me!" Jessica walked quickly to the bed, she hugged Cuddy in a manner that some people would call angry, but Cuddy knew she was just worried, and that she would be getting even tighter hugs soon. So she hugged back.

"Sadie," she said after Jessica let go, very surprised at her friend's attendance.

Sadie smiled, "Hey baby sis." She hugged Cuddy tightly with one arm, "You didn't think I'd stay away when I thought you were dying did you?"

"So I have to be dying for you to come and see me?"

She smiled. "No, but it's damn good motivation. Where would I be without my daughter?" Cuddy chuckled.

"Well, you'd have two left." Rob said. Cuddy laughed again.

She hesitated for a moment, "Sadie, can I please be released from this hug? I need my body back."

"I'm not done yet. You will know when I am done."

"Alright." A few seconds later the blonde let go. "Sorry we couldn't be here sooner, weather was a bitch."

"It's fine," Cuddy smiled. "It turned out it was nothing."

"And though that pisses off my daughter," she looked at Rob, who huffed and crossed her arms over her chest, "we're happy, Rob included, and I swear, on the plane ride over, I thought she was either going to cry, or throw up, or both."

Cuddy looked to the side of Sadie at the pouty twin. "You were worried about me?" She asked with a smirk.

"Bite me Lise." Her dad smiled and hugged his daughter to him. He let go of her and walked over to Cuddy. Jeff put one hand on her cheek and kissed her temple. "Dad, don't start feeling Lisa up in front of us. I know she's hot, but it's weird." He ignored his daughter and hugged Cuddy.

She closed her eyes and hugged back, "Hi Jeff."

"Long time no see," he told her as he let go.

"That's my fault why?"

Jessica coughed, "Workaholic."

"Oh…" Rob laughed. "Weren't expecting that now were you?"

Jeff ignored his children and continued, "I don't see Greg here, he better be being good to you."

Cuddy smiled, "You just missed him."

"Wilson said he was being a jackass," Jessica told her.

"It's fine." She promised. "Really, you guys didn't have to come-"

"Lisa, shut the hell up," Sadie told her. She pushed her husband out of the way and sat on the edge of the bed, "Of course we had to come. Now you can kick my children, by the way, Don sends his love," she kissed the top of her head, "and yes, I was required to do that, and my husband out, but I'm staying."

Jeff looked at Cuddy, "Lisa, you know Sadie, she always gets what she wants. Mic Jager obviously never met her."

"Damn straight," the blonde nodded. "See Lise," she smiled, "he's finally learning." Jeff kissed his wife's head. Cuddy still couldn't believe how good they were together. Hell, it must be 26 years. God, where did that that time go? And Sadie still looked fantastic, woman was almost fifty, and she looked great. Tall, beautiful and blonde, and Cuddy really understood how they produced such good looking kids. The girls looked everything and nothing like their mother, and Don really did look like her, though he didn't get his mother's green eyes. And Jeff, he was not as good looking as his wife, but he was still very handsome. His hair had gotten lighter, and grey was starting to come in at his temples, he also had some wrinkles, but they were the good ones by his eyes. The ones that told you someone spent much of their life smiling. His eyes were as beautiful as she remembered. Not like House's, not the ice blue she loved, but the brown that all of his kids had gotten. And he really did know his wife.

"Alright," she agreed. "I'll see you guys later." Jessica and Jeff nodded, but Rob made an annoyed noise.

"Hell no. I just sat in a plane for over 10 hours-"

"Rob, go to Greg's office. Go annoy Wilson." Her mother suggested when the idea of hanging out with her cousin did nothing for her. Rob considered it for a minute, then walked out.

Jeff rolled his eyes at the predictablity. "See you in a bit Lise. Come on," he told his remaining daughter.

"Jeff," Cuddy called, he turned around, "please dont get all, third degree on him."

He chuckled, "Of course not." Cuddy rolled her eyes, and he could practically hear the gesture say, "Why don't I believe that?"

He turned back towards the door, but his wife stopped him this time, "Sweetheart..." he looked back around. "Don't get into the pissing contest you always do with Greg. It's bad enough when you guys do it over cars and income," he smiled slightly, "but I'd really like it if I didn't walk in on a conversation about whether Lisa looks better naked than me or not." Both Cuddy and Jessica knew it could go there, and Cuddy shared Sadie's opinion on the matter.

"Babe," he started in a sincere tone, "I won't." Sadie raised an eyebrow at her daughter, who nodded, silently promising to keep an eye on their conversation.

"Alright, you may go now," Sadie dismissed and looked back at her friend, smiling.

Jeff turned to his daughter, "Your mother's subtlety is one of the things I love about her." Jessica and Cuddy smiled.

"Jeffery," Sadie said sweetly, her back still to him, "I believe Lisa told you to fuck off. How's that for subtlety?" He smiled and they left the women alone. "So is Greg being a dick to you? I promise I won't tell Rob if he is...or I will if you want me to. Depending on his level of dickness, I may intervene. You've been jaded sweetheart, you might not be able to distinguish it so well anymore."

"Sadie, it's _fine_," she assured her friend with a smile.

"Then why does my gayest straight friend tell my otherwise?"

Cuddy laughed, "That's how you describe Wilson?"

"Apparently that's how you do as well. Point being, why does he tell me otherwise?"

She hesitated for a moment, "…He didn't come through right away."

"Meaning..." She prompted.

Cuddy sighed, "The terribly clichéd phrase, "I knew you'd come" was put into use." Sadie groaned, "Do you need me to smack him?"

"I told you," she shook her head and kind of shrugged, "it's fine."

"M'kay."  
"Oh god..." House groaned when he saw his cousins walk by his office. They heard him and stopped. House pushed open the door, "What are you doing here?"

"I didn't come to see you," Jeff crossed his arms over his chest, "I came to see your best friend and neglected girlfriend." He said with a note of disapproval.

"Why do you always take her side?"

"Because I don't like you," he answered seriously and with a straight face."

"Oh," House nodded. "At least I don't have to deal with insane jealously of my babe getting skills."

"At least I can hold onto a girl." Jessica sighed and did Wilson's trademark facepalm. The team watched from the conference table.

"I'm smarter."

"I'm happier."

"I'm not misinformed."

"I never went crazy."

"I have Cuddy."

"I have Sadie."

"I banged her first."  
The team's jaws dropped.  
Jeff didn't get offended, didn't get angry, surprised, he didn't back down. He smiled and calmly responded, "I married her."

House paused, "Well played sir." Jeff nodded. "...I can ride a motorcycle."

"I can fly a plane."

"I can ride-"

"Gregory, Jeffery," came Jessica's voice. "Mother will kill you if she finds out that you're bragging about what you ride."

"I wasn't gonna say that," they denied at the same time.

"Bullshit." They heard Rob say. They looked in the direction of Wilson's office, she and Wilson were walking towards them. "Greg, you tell anyone that'll listen what you got." He looked away guiltily. "And Dad…" she looked him up and down, then shook her head, "mm-mm."  
Chase was walking back to the office, still thinking about the very interesting conversation he'd heard. He shook his head, remembering what House had said about the twins' mom. He stopped abruptly, there was an incredibly hot blonde standing outside House's office with her arms crossed over her chest. Bringing his eyes down to her boobs, though they definitely would have made it there eventually. Even without that stance, and even with the non revealing shirt. He could tell she was in her late forties, but still. And apparently she was very impatient, her boot was tapping, and she just had a look. Chase walked towards her, with his most charming smile, "Hi."

She looked at him, "Hi."

"Can I help you with something?"

"Just waiting for House," she shrugged. "Then I'm sorry," he appologize. She tilted her head slightly and gave him a questioning look. "Well that means you or a family member were treated by him, and you were probably insulted. And then the prolonged exposure." After considering him for a moment, she smiled slightly, he returned the smile. He put out his hand, "I'm Doctor-"

He was interupted by a disgusted noise, Rob, or at least he thought, pushed his hand away, and grabbed the woman's arm, "No!" She exclaimed. "God, can't you keep it in your pants for five minutes around my family?"

"Sadie," the blonde pointed and introduced heself in response to the look on his face. "I'm her mom."

Chase's eyes slightly widened. "Yeah, I came forth from her. Three kids. Greg, has he ever made a move on you?" She asked when House pushed open the door of his office.

He stopped and thought before puffing out a breath of air and saying, "I'm pretty sure he was going to grab my ass one time."

Rob flicked Chase in the ear, and House continued into his office. "Ow!" Chase complained.

"Stop checking out my gene pool," she countered.

Sadie ignored them and followed House. He looked up from his chair at Sadie. "I was hoping that you'd get that I didn't want to talk by me leaving."

"Oh sweetheart," she leaned back in one of the chairs in front of his desk, "when has that ever stopped me? If anything, I push harder."

"That sounds more like me. You push when something's bothering people. What do you think's bothering me?"

"Nothing. I haven't seen you in a long time."

"That's it?" He asked doubtfully.

"Yeah, Lisa's convinced me you're not being more of a dick than usual."  
_An: And that was them =) Also, I have them playing paintball, =) anyone interested?_


	26. Bye Again

_An: Sorry if I'm taking a long time with these. Question before you start reading, how many people are pissed at the season finale?_

"Hey." House looked up from his desk and caught the cellophane wrapped sandwich thrown to him underhand. "Not a Reuben, but still." Sadie sat down in front of him. She put her feet up on his desk and started to unwrap hers, "You not there for the same reason I'm not?"

"Yup." House looked up from his sandwich, "We definitely taught them the pushiness."

Sadie chuckled and leaned back, "Nah, that was me sweetheart."

"You didn't dream about me?" Rob asked in what seemed like genuine shock.

Before Cuddy had a chance to say anything, Jessica started laughing. She leaned forward and laughed so hard she thought she was going to cry. Rob and Cuddy looked at her, concerned about her mental health. Jessica sat up and opened her eyes. She stopped laughing when she saw the look on Cuddy's face. "Sorry, it's just, you were sick and she," a short laugh burst from her mouth before she could stop it, "was making it about her. It's," she looked slightly behind her at her sister before looking back at Cuddy sitting up in the hospital bed, "very, Rob-like."

"Jessica, have you taken your medication this morning?" Her sister asked slowly.

She made an annoyed noise, "Please, you're the only one prescribed, but you don't even take them."

She looked away from her sister with her head held high, "Because I don't need them."

"Yeah," Jessica agreed sarcastically. "So," she redirected her attention to the lady in the bed, "do you need anything tonight?"

"No," Cuddy answered. "My sister's in town, she's going to come over tonight."

Rob laughed almost silently, "I remember when I met your sister."

_Cuddy sighed tiredly, she had a headache, and she really didn't want to see her sister. She loved her dearly, but she really hated her. "Hey..." she heard an overly annoying tone._

_"What do you want?" She asked, not opening her eyes._

_"World peace." Rob answered innocently._

_Cuddy chuckled, not helping her already worsening headache, "I'm sure." She opened her eyes._

_Brenda hit Rob in the arm with a file, "What are you doing in my spot?"_

_"Talkin to the Dean, Brenda," she answered innocently._

_"Talk to her from over there," she pushed her to the side and started her work._

_Rob stuck her tongue out at Brenda, "Meanie."_

_"Mm," Cuddy put her fingers on her temples, "I love how you are maturing."_

_"So what's wrong with you?"_

_"You?" Brenda suggested._

_"I have no idea why I ever liked you."_

_"Then go away."_

_"Nah, you love me too much Brenda." She looked back at Cuddy._

_"Rob, you have a personality only your mother could love," Jessica said and stopped at the clinic desk next to Cuddy. "What's wrong?" She asked when she saw the expression of the Dean's face._

_"Head hurts." She answered, rubbing circles._

_"That's not all," Rob said, flipping through a chart she took from a stack in front of Brenda. The nurse slapped her hand and took the chart back. "You have a frowny face in your calendar."_

_Cuddy blinked, and lifted her head from her hands, "What?"_

_"...Nothing," she ducked her head._

_Cuddy glared at her. "We'll get back to that invasion of privacy later," Jessica said and looked at Cuddy. "Why the frowny face?"_

_She heaved a deep sigh, and turned to walk out of the Clinic, her head still turned to them, "My sister's coming into town." She stopped walking when she turned around._

_"Oh," Rob laughed and followed after her and her sister, "I heard she was a bitch."_

_Cuddy closed her eyes, and the brunette woman in front of her raised an eyebrow. Jessica put her hand over her eyes, "Oh my god Rob."_

_"Oh...Tha's you..."_

_"Yeah," Julia Cuddy nodded._

_Jessica sighed, "Right now, I'd just like to appologize in advance for anything my sister, or a limping pain in the neck may say. I'm Jessica," she put her hand out._

_Julia shook it. "Julia," she introduced._

_"Yeah," she smiled, "figured."_

_Rob pointed to her sister, "She's the polite one with the mom tone."_

_"And she's the annoying one with the whiny tone."_

_"Boy, that sounds familiar," Julia smiled at her sister._

"I need my phone. Left it in here while I was yelling at Chase," Rob told her mom and opened one of the doors to House's office.

"You are the most forgetful thing," she shook her head.

"Hey," she stopped and turned to look at her, "I'm not the one who forgot to buy condoms." She turned away from her mother's stare and shook her head, "You'd've waited ten minutes longer, your youth would not have been stolen."

"Call your brother an accident again," she almost dared, no hint of anger in her voice. Rob smiled and grabbed her phone.

When she saw Masters stand up she rolled her eyes and stepped away. "Mother, this is Greg's current team." She introduced. "Current team, Mother."

"I'd prefer you call me Sadie though. Mom's reserved for," she glanced at her daughter, "my little mistake," Rob smiled, "and her siblings. And before you say anything," Sadie cut her daughter off, "Jessica was not a mistake, I was expecting _one_ little girl."

The way the talked to each other definitely surprised the team. It even drew a 'wow' from Masters. Sadie looked at the younger woman, "Oh, sorry, it's just, I don't know many people that call their kids a mistake."

The blonde wrapped her arm around her daughter's shoulders, "She knows I'm kidding." Rob smirked. Sadie let go of her girl and looked around the room, "Let me see if I get this right. Foreman, Taub, and Chase," she pointed to the appropriate team member. Then she looked at Masters, "...I'm sorry honey, but she never told me your name. She did tell me a lot about you though."

"Like what?" Masters asked curiosly. Sadie paused, then glanced down at her daughter, trying to think of the appropriate response. "There wasn't anything good, was there?"

"Uh," she looked away and thought, "there, there was. Like, I know that you take what you do very seriously."

"How did she reffer to me?" Masters asked, almost scared of knowing the answer.

"Annoying, morally upright, baby faced girl." Rob answered pepily.

Sadie shook her head and said to Masters, "I'm sorry. I wish I could say this is a rare occurance, but it's not."

"Now aren't you glad I didn't choose a business major?"

"No, I would have been mad if you did. Art's much more your thing. Though your minor was a nice choice." Rob chuckled. "Well," she sighed, "it was nice meeting you all, but I have to go say bye to my eldest baby. Come on," she nodded to Rob.

"Lisa," the young adult clarified before walking out.

"Oh," Sadie stopped and looked at the team, "tell Greg I'll be watching him very closely. Also tell him, "And you know I can." Thank you." She smiled and walked out.

"I...I don't know if that's what I expected," Foreman said. "I knew their mom had to be...different, I guess."

"Bye babe," Sadie leaned over the edge of Cuddy's hospital bed and hugged her friend. "I'll see you soon, if my schedule allows it."

Cuddy chuckled, "Always make time for the little people Sadie."

Sadie squeazed her once more, then let go. She put her hand on Cuddy's cheek, the same way a mother would, and made her look up at her, "Be good."

Cuddy rolled her eyes, "Yeah."

"Good girl," she kissed the top of her head and let go. "You really were born to be a mom Sadie," Cuddy said as she walked away. She turned to look at Cuddy over her shoulder. "23 years and you can always make me feel like a little girl talking to her mom."

Sadie smiled, "Singular talent babe. Jessica will definitely be in later to say bye, I just have this thing me and Jeff have to go to. Our boy's going to need a lot of grooming before he can take over." Cuddy smiled and Sadie left.

And like she said, her daughters came in awhile later. "Bye Lise," Jessica hugged her. "We're gonna be gone for awhile. School and all." She smiled, "They let us do some stuff from afar, but it's time to go back just for a little while."

"Yeah," Rob sighed, "Jessica says I have to go too. Something about getting good grades. Like I couldn't do that from here." She shrugged, "I have to do what she says, she's mean to me if I don't. Seriously, you're protege, evil. I think she needs to repeat some lessons," she gave her sister a disapproving look.

"It's alright, I gave her a special pass to treat you like an idiot when you behave as one. She is still on track."

_An: I'm thinking of giving the girls their own musical number. Something insightful_


	27. Cartoons Are Fun

_An:During Out of the Chute._

_"Hey Lise," Jessica looked through some papers Rob had drawn on, holding her cell to her ear with her shoulder, "it's Jessica. I was looking through some old stuff and you would never guess what I found. OK, call me back when you get this, and I'll scan these and email them to you if you want. Oh my God, Lise, these are adorable. Call me."_

_"Hey, it's me again. Is everything OK? I get that you didn't answer your home, but you didn't answer your cell. Call me, OK?"_

_"Lise, I'm getting worried. You haven't called me back. Are you OK? And, don't tell Rob that I'm calling you this much," there was a playful tone. "Oh, and I sent you those pictures. Call me Lisa."_

That was when Cuddy decided to call her back, right after she deleted the email from , the email Jessica had made when she was younger. The subject was "remember those sad kid things?". She picked up her phone and called Jessica. "Hi," she said when the young woman answered.

"Lisa," she sighed, "I started to think you'd died, I was about to call Greg."

"I don't think that would have been the best move," she replied sadly.

"...What happened?"

Cuddy sighed, feeling tears start to sting her eyes. She blinked, "Can I tell you later? I don't want to get into this at work."

"Of course. Call me when you can."

_"Greg," Rob came into House's office with a very pleased look on her young face, "wanna see something cool?" She sat down next to him and pulled out a small sketch book. "I started trying to draw non relistic stuff, and I did the ones, they look like little kids, they always look sad." She started flipping the pages so they drawings became animated. It was a little brunette guy in a lab coat and tie, House smiled, it was Wilson, and as it continued, it showed him stop smiling up from the page and follow a blonde in a pink nurse uniform that exposed her lower back, drawn in the same style. It showed her walking away, hearts by Wilson's head, and Wilson looking back up from the page, drooling. House laughed. Rob smiled, "I have another one too." She skipped a couple of pages until she got to the beginning of the next cartoon. The beginning image was of him, he knew it was of him because of the wrinkled sky blue shirt, sports jacket, jeans, stubble, cane, and frown. Especially the frown and cane. The girl standing next to him had dark curly hair, a lab coat, extremely low cut shirt, and a smile. _Oh god, _he thought, _this is either going to be entertaining, or incredibly annoying_. Rob started flipping the pages. Cuddy turned to face House and leaned in to kiss his cheek, she stayed like that for several frames, but House's face changed. His frown slowly went away, he didn't smiled, but he wasn't frowning anymore. She pulled away, and the farther she went, the darker, more red his cheeks became. And then the animation was over. Rob beamed at the real House's glare, and asked innocently, "What, you don't like it?"_

Jessica tossed the phone aside and fell into a chair. She picked up the sketch pad and turned to the little animation of House and Cuddy. Rob had added to it since she showed it to House over 10 years ago. Jessica started to flip the pages, and sighed sadly. House returned to his normal shade and turned to Cuddy. He leaned forward and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. Her eyes opened wide and he pulled away. They both looked forward, House had a smirk, and Cuddy's eyes were still wide, her mouth formed a little "o" and the red was on her cheeks now.


	28. Your Hair's Up

"Lise, I have this assignment, and I need something that sparks a deep emotional response, or something. Whatever that pansy said, it was pretty sappy, and you were always good with that. So, what you got?"

"Hello to you too." She held her office phone in place between her shoulder and ear as she pulled some files in front of her.

"Hm...Nope, not inspired. Keep going."

"Rob, I really don't have time for this," she snapped in annoyance.

"Reow," she imitated a cat noise. "What's got your uninspirational knickers in a bunch?"

"I'm tired," she said, her tone confirmed it, it also confirmed that she was annoyed. Rob figure it was with her, but she couldn't think of anything she'd done...lately. "I have a lot of work, and you're fulfilling what seems to be your life's goal."

"Do tell." She said, in an almost interested voice.

"Distracting me."

"Mm...No, I think my goal's more, frustrating you."

"Well, by distracting me, you're frustrating me. So, congratulations." She sighed quietly, exhausted with everything going on in her life.

"...Is you're hair up?" She asked suspiciously.

Cuddy sat up straighter, "What?" How did she know her hair was up? "What does that have to do with any-"

"What did he do?

"What are you-"

"You only ever put your hair up when you're upset, or super focused. And judging by your pissed off and tired tone, which, you never have when you're around me," she added that just to make Cuddy roll her eyes, of that, the doctor was sure, "you're sad. Only he, or he related things make you sad."

She didn't know what to say to her, she didn't know for awhile. "...I have to go. Bye Rob." She hung up before Rob could call her on her lie.

_An: I literally could not think of a flash back that would be anyway relevant to this. Maybe I'm tired. Next chapter will be longer and better. Promise X)_


	29. Telephones

_Cuddy put her hand over House's office phone, "Can you take this outside?"_

_"But that would defeat the purpose of doing it in here." He countered, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Cuddy put the phone back to her ear, and the conversation with House's fellows continued with him sort of listening. "Have you seen my balls?" He asked suddenly._

_Cuddy sighed and told the person on the other line, "Hold on," and put the phone to her shoulder and looked up at him expectantly._

_"My balls. Giant one and a red one."_

_"Your plan isn't going to work."_

_"Of course it is. I try to make you miserable so you leave. You deny that it is making you miserable. You try to make me miserable to make me stop. Then you leave, citing reasons that have nothing to do with misery."_

_"You're not bothering me." She stopped looking through her purse and insisted with a trace of amusement in her voice._

_He looked forward, stunned by the predictability, "Phase One: Complete."_

_"I'm going to call you from my cell." She said into the phone reciever before hanging up. She finally found her cellphone, and started to redial as she stood, "And then, I am going to come back in here. Hi..." She said when her call was answered._

_"Greg?" Sadie asked knowingly._

_"Yeah. I was just explaining to him that I had his balls, and he's not getting them back." Sadie laughed. Cuddy turned her back to House, smirking slightly, and squeazed passed him and the side of his desk, "S'cuse me."_

_"Oh, god, Jessica will be proud." Cuddy smiled and walked down the hall towards the elevator. "So you've really set up shop in his office?"_

_Cuddy pushed the button for the elevator, "No..." she semi whined. "Don't tell me you're doing his to me too."_

_"Hey, I want you to keep at least 30 feet of personal space between you and my cousin." She said defensively. "Told you Lise. Toxic. So, you really set up shop in his office?"_

_"I needed an office, and he never using it to see patients, and he's the one-"_

_"Sweetheart, you're starting to sound really defensive. I just asked why you chose HIM."_

_"I told you." The door dinged open, and Cuddy stepped in._

_"Wasn't talking about the office this time..." Cuddy took a breath and the door closed."_

I'm sorry," Jessica put her glass down on the coffee table next to her homework and switched the hand holding the phone to her ear. "He did what?"

"Yeah, Russian prostitute." Cuddy affirmed tiredly.

"Oh God," Jessica rubbed her eyes in frustration, "it's insane that I could be related to that." She sighed. "Are you OK?"

"That's a big question with you now a days," Cuddy remarked.

"Well, he's being an extra dose of idiot, it's also my job to ask these questions."

"Yeah," she put her hand over her eyes, "I talked to Wilson a little today. That usually helps."

"Did it today?"

"Yeah, sort of. He just left awhile ago." She remembered something she wanted to ask, and it came out slightly angry, "Did you tell Rob about our break up?"

"No," Jessica answered defensively. "I haven't even talked to her in...a week?"

"Why do I find that hard to believe?"

There was a pause, then she said tentatively, "I've, kinda been avoiding her calls." Cuddy blinked, she did not expect that. "I have a lot of homework...and I didn't want her to get that out of me."

"Oh God," Cuddy groaned, "can she really get stuff out of you easily?"

"Don't even pretend she can't get stuff out of you. She has been trained in the ancient art of buttering you up."

"Your mom was always good at that," she agreed and leaned back in her chair.

"And you guys are always saying how charming Dad is. Love her to death, but she is a sneaky, quick bitch."

Cuddy couldn't help but chuckled, "I've heard you call her many things, that was never one of them."

"It's true though, right?" She half asked.

"Yeah," she chuckled again, "yeah it is."

"So..." Jessica started after a moment of comfortable silence, "you tell mom about this yet?"

Cuddy half sighed, half groaned and did a face palm, "No."

"Well, I can't promise that her 'Mom senses' won't tingle, so, you better adress this before she finds out."

"I'm sorry," Cuddy sighed.

"For what?"

"I kind of turn you into my journal when stuff is really crazy."

_"Hey," Cuddy folded her legs under her as she sat on her couch._

_"Oh hey Lise," Jessica greeted again. "You're lucky you called, I was just about to go to bed, research paper kept me up."_

_"Oh God," Cuddy squeazed her eyes shut at her mistake, "it is late there, I'm sorry."_

_"It's fine."_

_"Are you awake?"_

_"No, I work on almost all my homework asleep, and carry on phone conversations the same way."_

_Cuddy smiled, "Not what I mean. Are you awake enough to talk for awhile?" She clarified slowly, enunciating each word._

_She heard the smile in the teenager's voice, "Yeah, I think I may have consumed a little too much caffeine, I should be up for awhile. What's so important you felt the need to interupt my beauty sleep?" She asked playfully._

_She wasn't sure if she should be talking about this with her, but decided she may as well, she'd hear about it sooner or later, "...I had a date tonight."_

_Jessica paused, waiting for more, and when it didn't come, she started talking, "It not go well? He turn out to be married? Your cousin? Your best friend's husband?" She threw that last one in there to make fun of her._

_And Cuddy got the joke. "Haha," she replied in a monotone voice. "Good one."_

_"So what went wrong," Jessica asked through her audiable smile._

_"...House."_

_There was a long pause. "...You went on a date with Greg...?"_

_"No," she answered quickly. "I was on a date, he crashed. Several times."_

_"Um, Lise, I know I'm good, and I am flattered that you think this highly of me, but I don't think I can stop him from doing stupid, disruptive crap over the phone."_

_She ignored the comment for now, "He likes me, Jessica."_

_"...He told you that?"_

_Cuddy shifted on her couch and brought her knees up and wrapped an arm around her legs, "He didn't answer when I asked him."_

_"Did you-"_

_"No," she shook her head, knowing the question. She smiled slightly at the thought, "I actually rendered him speechless. I felt very good about my victory until I closed the door. Then you and your damn sister popped into my head..."_

_"That doesn't seem like the end of it," the girl prompted._

_"...My date told me he wanted to go out with the woman that surfaced when House came around." Her eyes closed and she shook her head, "And he kissed my cheek after saying that, and before leaving."_

_Cuddy heard a small gasp, and actually heard the cringe. "Oh," she said sympathetically._

_"Yeah," she agreed._

_"Men are idiots."_

_"I'm with you so far."_

_"So, what do you think about what he said?"_

_"Uh, it felt like a slap in the face," she said, she thought that was the part Jessica understood._

_"Well, duh, but...do you think he's right? Do I know why you called me this early in the morning?"_

_"...I don't know." She admitted in a quiet voice._

_There was an intake of breath, like Jessica was going to start speaking, but was cut off by a noise that sounded like a fridge opening. "Who are you talking to?" Cuddy figured it was Rob, considering the almost identical voice to the girl she was currently talking to. The only difference was the sleepiness caused graveliness._

_"President of the United States," Jessica answered seriously._

_Cuddy heard the fridge close, and, "Tell Lisa I said hi."_

_"Rob says hi," Jessica said into the reciever. "Look Lise, it's way passed my bed time, and I have to get up early for this thing at school, can I call you when the sun's up?"_

_"Yeah, of course. Sorry I kept you up. Night."_

_"Night Lise," she said sleepily. Guess the caffeine was wearing off. The line went dead and Cuddy stood up, she walked to her bedroom and got under the covers. Sleep not coming for a long time._

_An: Brownie points if you can guess the episodes._


	30. Lies Never Work

_An: Aw, no one got brownie points last chapter._

"Wilson," Rob said into the reciever when he picked up, "Lisa refused to be helpful when I told her I needed inspiration, so, what do you got?"

"How many other people did you call before me?" He adjusted his office phone and put down his pen.

"Um...I called Mom, Lisa, and Jessica didn't pick up."

"Well at least I make top five. Why do you need inspiration?"

"I have an assignment," she tore what must have been the twentieth page out of her giant sketch pad. "I can't think of anything."

"How about a big bowl of fruit?" He suggested dryly.

She inhaled deeply through her nose, "Fuck you and your fruit."

"What's the assignment?"

"I have to, draw, paint, paper mache, something. Anything that makes me go "This is perfect," when I think of it. Unfortunately, I can't think of a damn thing. So, do what you do..."

"Um, music? You could do a musical note, or redo the ACDC thing."

"Mm...nuh uh, keep going."

He sighed, "Um, you could do you drawing something. Like, it's you drawing you drawing you drawing...and so on."

"Nah."

Wilson sighed, "Draw a puppy."

"You're not very good at this," she told him deadpan. "Did Greg take up all your insightfulness juice? That reminds me, what did he do to Lisa? I called her, and she sounded all pissy, then denied having her hair up."

"...What, what does that have to do with anythi-"

"It has everything to do with everything Wilson, you just don't pay close enough attention." She dismissed. "Getting back to the point, what did he do?"

"Um, besides him parking a monster truck in the handicapped spaces? Many things."

She gasped in excitement, "He did?" He could hear her smile. "Oh, that bastard didn't call me. It's just as well, I was busy with Wade. But she doesn't put her hair up just cause he takes up some parking spaces."

Wilson stayed silent for a minute, Rob had always known everything, ever since she was little...about everything. Especially everything House related. Did she not know? "Just, stuff. He's been doing the usual, you know," he straightened some folders with his thumb, "harassing patients, doing illegal things..."

Rob listened to his explaination suspiciously. "That doesn't make her put up her hair either."

"He's, been doing them simultaniously," he said, in his uncomfortable Wilson tone.

"Wilson, you're a terrible liar." She said flatly.

He sighed, "He, forgot their anniversary."

"Nuh uh, that's in three days. Why do you lie to me Wilson? It always ends in failure."

"I really don't know Rob, I'm just guessing." _Please buy this, please buy this, please buy this,_ he silently plead. He knew she wouldn't, but there was no harm in hoping.

"No amount of praying to an **imaginary deity** will assuage my curiosity Jimmy. Give it up."

He was right about to burst and spill everything when he was saved, well, not so much saved, as scared into silence when Cuddy opened his door. She opened her mouth, but closed it when she saw he was on the phone. "Actually, somebody just walked in. Gonna have to call you back later. Try doing a Hershey's." He suggested and put the phone back on the reciever before she could say anything. "What's up?" He looked up at Cuddy.

"Was I interupting something?"

He shook his head, "No."

She smiled slightly, "Anyone ever tell you what a terrible liar you are?"

_Wilson fell onto House's couch when his best friend let him in. Him and Bonnie had been fighting, and he was stressing out. Wilson leaned forward and put his head in his hands. He decided he needed some time away from home, and what better place than House's apartment. Perfect place to bitch about married life, and how much women suck...Until he saw a familiar pair of little black sneakers with the toxic symbols dotted all over them. He slowly lifted his head to see Rob. He wasn't sure what he felt when she extended a hand holding a martini glass. Though he was entirely sure she'd mixed the drink herself. He shrugged a shoulder slightly. What the hell, he was was stressed out, a drink would help him relax, and if anyone asked, House made him the drink. It was partly true. He accepted the drink, and she plopped down next to him on the couch. Wilson took a drink as House sat down next to her, and flipped on the tv. From the taste of this, House was going to hell for teaching someone under double digits how to make drinks, and Wilson supposed he was probably going to hell for drinking this. He finished his drink, and they watched tv in silence. Everyone knew that at least one woman was going to come out of the back rooms and start yelling at them, it was only a matter of time... "Oh my God..." They looked up at Jessica standing in the hallway, giving the empty glass in Wilson's hand, and then Rob, disapproving looks. "She made that for you, didn't she?" She raised an eyebrow at Wilson and put her hands on her hip._

_"See," House mumbled, turning his head towards Wilson and subtly putting his hand in front of his mouth, "this is why I don't like when she comes over."_

_"Greg, shut up." She told him irritably and walked towards the kitchen. The refridgerator door opened, and Jessica walked through the living room back down the hall. "You better hope I don't tell Stace about this." She turned around and looked at House, saying softly, so it sounded like she was very far away, "It would be so easy too. I could just say, "Stacy, Rob mixed Wilson a drink." Or, I could tell, say, Mom, or maybe your oldest, bestest buddy." She smirked when House glared at her._

_"I will not have the Devil in her stylish yet hookerish "do me pumps" mentioned in my house."_

_"So," she paused, "Lisa is your oldest, bestest buddy?" She smiled and turned around. And if she had them, House was sure she'd be swinging her hips._


	31. Paintball!

_"Why does she have to be here?" House whined quietly to Wilson. The oncologist rolled his eyes and continued to pull his gloves on. House look over at Cuddy and Stacy, he would never admit it, but them standing there in paintball outfits holding large guns, it was kind of turning him on. Though he was able to push that down due to his annoyance at seeing her on the weekend. Unlucky for him, when they had gotten introduced to Cuddy, his cousins shared the love of her that everyone in his family seemed to have. At first it was just annoying, but this had taken it too far. They had invited her to paintball. Well, Jessica had, but Rob had done nothing to try to dissuade Cuddy's attendence, she hadn't even told him that Cuddy was coming._

_"Face it," Rob pushed open the door to the field with Jessica following, the look on her face clearly stating that she didn't believe a word her sister was saying, "I'm way more awesome."_

_"Rob, you are not, nor are you more talented. Right Stacy?"_

_"Pft," Rob rolled her eyes, "she would never side with you over me."_

_Stacy just rolled her eyes, "I'm not taking anyone's side, the other would annoy me for the rest of the day."_

_"Fine, then hypothetically, how would you respond when asked which twin was awesomer?"_

_"Drop it Rob, she doesn't want to lie to make you feel better."_

_"Fine, we'll settle this right now."_

_"Fine..." After that, House just kind of tuned them out._

_He turned back to Wilson, who sighed, "What if she corrupts them? I'm worried about Jessica, and possibly even Rob, she's young."_

_"House, they like her, why is this a crisis?"_

_"Should they really be playing?" Cuddy asked Stacy. "They're only six."_

_"Trust me Lisa, they're going to be fine, as soon as we get out there, you'll want to worry about yourself. Once, somehow it got down to Wilson and Jessica, Wilson came off a minute later with three welts forming on his chest, two on his leg, and one on his back. Wilson hasn't played much since."_

_Cuddy's mouth opened and she sort of chuckled, "Wow. I'm starting to question why they asked me here."_

_"Because you're a tight ass with enormous potential that needs to relax," Rob answered in a distracted tone. Cuddy looked over her shoulder at her. She had critized her while spinning, throwing, and catching her paintball gun. She caught it firmly one last time, "Oh...! I'm awesomer."_

_"So you wanna go?"_

_"Let's go," she put her arms out in challenge._

_Jessica put her arm out palm up, balancing the gun. She spun and stopped it a few times before throwing it into the air, it spinning quickly before going back into her hands. She smirked and raised an eyebrow at her sister. Rob did the same. She balanced the gun on her wrist and started rotating her wrist, so the gun spun around it slowly. She jerked her arm and the toy flew into the air. She caught it with her right hand, then kept spinning it. She took a few deep breaths, like she was preparing herself, then threw it hard and high up into the air. Rob glanced up, then leaned back til she was up on her hands, and then all the way over so her knees hit the ground, and caught the gun. She smirked smugly at her sister, who rolled her eyes, "Oh stop showing off."_

_Cuddy, on the other hand, was amazed. "Wow."_

_"That's the kind of thing they do often," Stacy told her._

_"OK, apparently Don isn't coming-"_

_"I'm right here," he announced as he came through the door. "OK, let's pick teams-"_

_"I call Greg and Stace! You can have Don and Lisa." Rob told her sister._

_"Oh come on, you never choose any other team." Don said._

_"Fine. You can have Wilson too."_

_"That's not-"_

_"Stop whining!" She put her hand out in the direction of the adults, "You have Wilson and Funbags McBooty." House looked down, tried not to let his smile take over his entire face, and made a mental note to remember that. Though his personal favorite was still PartyPants. Not that he would EVER mention that to Stacy, or Jessica._

_"Rob," Jessica said in a stern voice._

_She looked over at Cuddy, "Oh, did I say that out loud? Sorry, I don't really think before I talk, I like to be just as surprised as everyone else," she smiled and walked toward the empty field. She grabbed Stacy's hand and pulled her__along, "Come on Greg."_

_"She doesn't mean anything by it," Jessica told Cuddy as she walked past her, her brother and Cuddy following, "we just spend a tad too much time with Greg."_

_At the end of the game, the team of three had come out with a narrow victory. Wilson was the first to be eliminated, (as predicted by about pretty much everyone) taken out by Stacy, who was shot moments later by Jessica. Rob retaliated, and Jessica was out of the game after her sister had dashed across the field in a fool move, that did actually work, and started shooting the pistol looking guns she had stashed somewhere, in her general direction. It was a bit overkill when, as she was walking off, Rob shot her in the ass. Jessica responded with several shots to the head, and those only missed because House took a brief break from his on going fight with Don to pull her to the floor. Under fire, Rob had agreed to snipe Don if House could distract Cuddy, to which he replied, "It's what I live for."_

_The young girl ran off, House started running, drawing the opposing team's fire. Just as Don stood up to shoot at his cousin for the second time, he got hit three times on the right side of his chest, leaving three purple splotches on his vest, and soon on his skin. He wanted to find his little sister and shoot her when she yelled to him, "I thought about using red cause it looks like you actually got shot, but I used purple instead so you'll be reminded how you got owned by your little sister!" The urge subsided when he saw Cuddy stand up and shoot twice, drawing an "Ow! Son of a bitch!" from somewhere on the field._

_Both Stacy and Wilson yelled, "Language." And she came off the field, telling them to shut up._

_Cuddy ducked back down behind what she and Don had been using as shield to reload, and when she looked back up, ready to start firing, she saw House's smug face. He was pointing a hand gun he must have gotten from Rob at her chest. This was going to hurt. "Hasta la vista." He pulled the trigger._


	32. Open House

House was sitting on his couch, watching boxing. He had found it while channel surfing after dropping 13 off. He was in a particularly bad mood, because Sadie had sent him something ridiculously sweet for his anniversary. He swore he was going to kill Rob, or maybe Jessica, it honestly could have been either one. If Cuddy got something as well, it was Jessica's doing. House glared at the teddy bear holding a heart that said, "She wuvs you", there had been a box of chocolates, and just to let him know that she was pleasantly surprised, and totally screwing with him, she included a card that said, "I was wr...wr...wrong ;)" House looked back at the previously taped fight. It was between two middleweight boxers, Fisher and Tucker. They were both really good, but Tucker was better. He had Fisher knocked out before two rounds were up. News cameras were on him in seconds, and House was about to turn off the tv when he saw a young woman go under the ropes and put her arms around him. He shot forward and stared at the screen, "What?"

_"Wilson," Rob whined from her laying position on House's couch._

_Wilson's hands went to his hips, "Get up."_

_"But I'm sick," she gave a fake cough. "I have a doctor's note, and my doctor's sick as well. Look."_

_House looked up at Wilson pathetically. "Greg, get up," Jessica order as she came into the living room, pulling her hair up into a ponytail. "You too," she nodded to her sister._

_"But Mooooom..." they both whined simultaniously._

_She swished her hair back and forth once, then moved a fist to her soon to be hips. "Mom and Dad aren't in town, and they may not have put me in charge, but they did tell you you have to go."_

_"This child is ill," House insisted._

_Jessica and Wilson looked at each other, and sighed. "I'm sick too," Don announced as he walked into the room and sat down in a chair._

_"Fine," Jessica shrugged, "deal with the wrath of Mom. And I'll just tell Justin and Sarah that you guys were too sick to make it." Both Rob and Don looked at her seriously._

_"Wait, are those the two with the hot, recently divorced, blonde bombshell for a mom?" House asked._

_"That would be them," Jessica confirmed indifferently. "OK, come on Wilson, let's go." Wilson shrugged as well and grabbed his coat._

_House sent a questioning glance to his other relatives, when recieving answering looks from both, he stopped the two. Just as Jessica knew he would. "Wait." They turned around. "Will she be wearing seasonally appropriate clothing?"_

_"Not with her history could I easily make that promise," she crossed her arms over her chest._

_"Justin will be there for soccer at the very least," Rob looked at Don, knowing his blonde 15-year-old sister would be in attendance to support her brunette baby brother. "We're in," she agreed for the entire group. "People at Open House are going to think we have gay parents though."_

"Hey, it's me," Wilson greeted when Rob answered the phone. He hadn't been able to sleep, and thought he'd try being inspirational again.

"What do you need?" Her voice was irritated and snappy.

"Uh, nothing really, I just wanted to check and see if you had-"

"Wilson hurry up. I'm kinda busy."

"How's the inspiration going?" He spit out quickly.

"I got what I'm drawing about," she answered. "I'll tell you later. And if you call me at any point during the night, I will kill you," she threatened before hanging up. Wilson looked at his phone curiously, but put it down and turned on the tv.

_An: Both an interesting flashback, and Rob's assignment next chapter. What do you think she drew?_


	33. Sunday AfternoonsCrazyville

_An: Bit long._

_"Hey," Sadie stopped her daughter from following her sister, who, as most seven-year-olds do, hid behind her mom to escape her pursuer. "Go help Greg take chairs outside, and help Lisa set out stuff."_

_"But Mooom..." Rob whined._

_"You can designate who sits where," she granted. Rob thought a minute, then smirked mischieviously and ran out of Cuddy's house, into her front yard. Where her dad was barbaquing ribs, Stacy was tossing a salad, and House had just set down a plastic table big enough for all 8 of them plus more. She ran passed Cuddy, almost knocking the pitcher of something very red, and very capable of staining her dress, and the basket of rolls. Sadie turned around to her most trustworthy child, "Go make sure her, Greg, and Lisa play nice." Jessica smiled and walked out of the door. Sadie grabbed the bowl of chocolate chip cookies and walked into the kitchen to grab napkins._

_She barely got out of the kitchen when Rob yelled, "Mom!" Rob ran into the house, "Don put himself between Lisa and Stacy, and Greg and Jessica on one end, and me on the other. _And,_ he put ex Ms. Wilson next to me," her little jaw clenched._

_"Sweetheart, she's not ex, and I'm sure she doesn't appreiciate being called that."_

_"Hey, it's gonna happen, and you guys are the ones always telling me to be prepared."_

_"Rob, we're talking about school."_

_"I believe you can learn more in the real world than in a class room." She shrugged innocently, a gesture Sadie did not believe._

_"Just, go and switch the place settings." Sadie said. Rob's eyes wandered away and she smiled._

_"OK. Thanks Mom." She ran passed Cuddy again._

_"What is with her running in my house?"_

_"Don moved you and Stace next to him, and cut her off from Jessica, Greg, and WIlson."_

_"Oh..." her eyes closed. "This will not end well for him."_

_Sadie shook her head, "No."_

_Cuddy looked through her open door into her yard, "50 bucks says she's does something before we get out there."_

_Sadie nodded and handed her the napkins, "Safe bet." They started through the dining room to the outside._

_Right before they got out, a very outraged, "Rob!" rang out._

_Sadie shook her head, "I can't wait til they're 18." They walked out to see Don on the floor, as well as a chair on its side. "What the hell happened? I was only in the house for 5 seconds!"_

_"Rob pushed me over!"_

_"I can see that," Cuddy said._

_"I told him you said that I set up the table, and I started moving stuff around, but he wouldn't move."_

_"You know what!" Sadie stopped all talking from her kids. "Jessica," the little girl looked up at her mom. "Please...deal with this." She nodded and threw her siblings disapproving looks, Rob stuck her tongue out at her._

_Don got up and shoved his sister to the side with one arm, and when she recovered, she socked him in that arm. His mouth opened and he made a fist. "Hey!" They both looked at Jessica, "You," she looked at her sister, "there," she nodded towards House, "and you," she looked at her brother, "there," she nodded to her dad. Don and Rob glared at each other, but went to where they were told. Don stood next to the grill with his dad, and House lifted Rob onto the open bed of Jeff's pick up._

_Sadie put her hand on Cuddy's shoulder, and said happily, "Thank you for influencing that. She makes my life so much easier."_

_"Sadie," Cuddy looked at her face, "are you going to cry?"_

_"I think I might," she chuckled. "Jessica, how are we doing?"_

_Jessica did a once over of all the special place settings to make sure everything was right, then gave her mom two thumbs up, "We're good." Everyone sat down where they were supposed to as Jeff put all the ribs onto a big plate and set them down in the middle of the table next to the cookies. Jessica had set everyone where they would be happy. Rob was currently on her knees in the chair between House and Stacy, who was on the end, Jessica was between House and Cuddy, Sadie was on the end next to Cuddy, with Don next to her, Jeff was next to his son, and there were two empty spaces._

_Rob leaned across the table and immediately went for the cookies. Jessica slapped her hand. "Ow!"_

_"Those are for last." Rob grumbled at her sister and rubbed her hand._

_"So is Wilson coming?" Rob asked later when she was dolloping potato salad onto her plate._

_"Yes," her dad answered._

_"Is Mrs. Wilson coming?" She asked unhappily._

_"I think Bonnie's coming," Sadie nodded. Both House and Rob groaned._

_"I like her," Jessica said. "It's not going to work with them, but, I still like her."_

_Rob leaned forward and looked at her sister around her cousin, "Traitor."_

_"How's she a traitor?" Cuddy asked._

_"No fraternization with people that will make Wilson pay alimony." House answered._

_"Exactly," Rob nodded._

_"This food better be amazing," House said. "After carrying this damn table."_

_"House," he looked at Cuddy, "it's plastic. And isn't that Jeff's car?"_

_"I still carried it."_

_"It's still a plastic tabl-"_

_"Children," Sadie interupted. "If you would like to enjoy your week, you will allow me to enjoy my meal." Both adults closed their mouths. "Very good."_

_Stacy looked to the side when a car door closed, "There's Wilson." All of the kids immediately sat up, and the girls turned in their chairs to see him._

_"Hey, sorry we're late," he appologized and kissed Sadie's cheek._

_"It's fine," she dismissed. Wilson went around the table, saying hi to everyone. When he hugged Rob, she held on, and instead of fighting it, he just wrapped an arm around her and sat down next to Stacy on the other side of the table._

_"It's about damn time you showed up," House said. "Leave me and Rob alone with all these women. Wait...me and Rob are still alone with all women."_

_"House, shut up before I throw you off my lawn." Cuddy threatened._

_"What do you think?" He asked Rob. "Could I take her?" She nodded._

_"I don't know Greg, Lise is pretty tough," Sadie pointed out._

_"Eh, she's a woman," he dismissed._

_"We all know Stacy kicks _your_ ass," Sadie told him._

_"Only when I ask her to." Stacy slapped his arm lightly. He looked at her and asked innocently, "What?" She just gave him a look, House smirked and looked away._

_From Wilson's lap came, "Meow. Pftch."_

_"Hey," Jeff looked at his daughter._

_"Yeah," House agreed. "Hey."_

_"I don't care that it was said," Jeff corrected. "Just that she said it."_

"Does that mean I can say it?" Don asked.

_A chorus of "No's" rang out from the adults. "Only people over the age of 18 can say it," Jeff said._

_"Though there are very few people in that group whose testacles aren't in someone's purse." House shrugged._

_"Greg, you're just mad cause I took yours out of my purse to make room for his," Sadie accussed with a smile._

_To which House scoffed, "Mine were never in there." She raised her eyebrows with a "mmmhhhm" look. "Oh shut up. This lovely little torture session is making me miss important things."_

_"General Hospital?" Cuddy asked knowingly._

_"Maybe! You don't know what I do at home. Though you could come over and find out," he said very suggestively, with an exagerated wink._

_"Lisa, I can save you the gas money," Stacy leaned forward in her seat, "he sits in his pajamas, watching tv, drinking Scotch, and occasionally plays the piano. Mostly at midnight to piss off the neighbors." Cuddy chuckled._

_"Oh thank god," Sadie sighed, "it used to be just boxers. Did Stacy teach you the tricky draw string?" She asked him patronizingly._

_"I am not staying somewhere I'm not appreciated," House announced and threw his napkin onto the table._

_"We have chocolate pudding," Jessica said persuasively. House looked at her, then sat back down. She smiled and looked back at her food._

_"Why are we even here?" House asked anyone that could answer. "I could be saving lives right now."_

_"Greg, you barely go to work on week days, there's no way in hell you would on Sunday," Stacy rolled her eyes._

_"The reason Mom want to do this," Rob started, "is because most things in our society are religious type things."_

_"And we have two Jews, two atheist, and..." Sadie looked down in thought. She looked at her husband, "What are we?" She gestured to her immediate family._

_Jeff inhaled, and smirked slightly before answering, "Agnostic?"_

_Everyone at the table, with the exception of Bonnie, groaned loudly. "Agnostics are atheists without balls," Rob announced._

_"Well said," House nodded and raised his glass to her, she picked up Wilson's cup and clinked it against hers._

_"Anyway," Sadie said, trying to make her smile go away, "We have two atheists, to Jews that don't keep kosher, a tiny atheist," Rob and House raised their cups at that, "thank you, by the way, Greg, for jading my daughter," again, they raised their glasses. "Three "official"," she put the words in air quotes, "Protestants, and a girl that came from a hard core Catholic family."_

_Cuddy chuckled and looked at House, "Her sister doesn't like you..."_

_"Point being, the whole, "Sunday best, let's go to church together, then have a nice quiet sit down dinner after grace" thing, wasn't going to fly with this misfit as hell group."_

_"You know you love it Mom," Don smiled._

_"The company isn't bad out here in Crazyville," she smirked. Cuddy laughed, "Come on Lisa, you know it's true."_

_She smiled down at her plate, then raised her glass, "To Crazyville and its inhabitants. Who, without, my life would be much simpler, but a lot less entertaining."_

_"Cheers!" Jessica and Rob cheered enthusiastically._

_"I can drink to that," Stacy agreed._

_"Sadly Lisa," Jeff looked at his cup, "you have summed up my entire life with those two sentences." He lifted his cup to his mouth, and smiled, "To Crazyville," his whispered before taking a drink._

"Rob, let me see it," Jessica pleaded as the got onto the small plane.

"Nope," she denied yet again, rolling the large sheet of paper tighter. "It's too big for your lap anyway."

"We'll spread it out on the floor."

"Nope." Rob sat down next to her sister.

Jessica sat up straighter, trying to look at the drawing, but gave up. She saw on the blank side, Rob had written in the corner, "Crazyville." Jessica smiled, "You did not." Rob smiled coyly and looked out the window. Jessica looked forward, still smiling, "I inspire you."

"Don't get a big head, you weren't the only one there." Rob put her roll under her seat, and crossed her arms over her chest before closing her eyes. Still smiling.

When Wilson came back to his office from lunch, he sat down at his desk, and found the toys on his desk, arranaged to keep a very large sheet of paper flat. He sat down and smiled. The back drop was Cuddy's across the street neighbor's house, with a black pick up Jeff used to have. The main image wasn't something they had posed for, but it looked that way. Stacy, House, Cuddy, Jeff and Sadie were sitting in chairs, he was laying on his side on the ground, Bonnie in the same position opposite him, Don was behind the row of chairs between his parents' shoulders, and Rob and Jessica were by House and Cuddy. Holding onto the backs of the chairs to keep their feet off the ground. It looked like a nice picture, and over the scene were block letters with clean lines that said, "Sunday Afternoons". Then he looked at the bottom of the page and saw a post it note that said, "Flip the page over" He followed the instruction and saw the same picture...sort of. There were several chairs side by side, Stacy was on the left from Wilson's point of view, he chuckled when he saw the cowboy hat, gun in its holster at her side, and brief case by her chair. Next to her was House, he had his arms behind Stacy and Cuddy, and was doing bunny ears behind the other doctor's head, smiling pleasantly up from the page. Wilson did find the black curly mustache drawn on his clean shaven face odd, until he looked down at Cuddy's lap saw the black pen in her hand. She was also smiling, and Rob's edit to Cuddy's person, was the even more ridiculous low cut than normal on her top, the hooker red heels she had on, a blue tooth in her ear, and a slingshot in her other hand. Next to her, Jeff was in a business suit, with oatmeal stained pants, and a children's book at his feet. Also a first place trophy. Sadie was sitting up straight, a friendly smile on her face, a diaper bag on the floor by her feet, and an open wallet, displaying everyone's photo like a parent would put their kid's photo in their wallet. The business suits on all of the women sitting in the chairs was an especially nice touch, and accurate. Behind his parents, Don was staring at Cuddy's chest, his mouth open. Wilson was still on the ground smiling, but now his body from the shoulders down looked like a teady bear in a lab coat, stethoscope around his neck included. Bonnie's exact outline was there, but it was more of a silhouette. Rob never did like anyone he'd ever married. And last, but most definitely not least, Rob and Jessica were still behind House and Cuddy, same height off the ground, but not using arm strength to support themselves. The halo above Jessica's head, and small devil horn sprouting out of Rob's might explain that. Rob was smirking mischievously, and was holding was one the big lighters, with the lids, at chin height, and Jessica, still smiling forward, had a squirt gun pointed at the lighter. Above _this _scene were more slanted, unbalanced letters that said, "We're All Mad Here". The sticky note at the bottom of the page said, with one statement on top of the other, "What they see. What's actually going on. PS, Got an A ;)"


	34. That's Accuracy

_House came through Cuddy's closed office door...again. She sighed and looked back down at her desk. Man, she really had to fire her assistant. He made his way across the room to her desk, "Any particular reason you're distracting me from doing my work, and ignoring your own?" She looked back up and saw him sit down in a chair across from her, she also saw something electronic in his hand that she'd missed before._

_"My lackies have got it covered," he dismissed. House leaned forward and put the device near the edge of her desk, "And you've gotta listen to this. Rob is convinced that this is our song." If she wasn't concerned before, Lisa Cuddy sure as hell was now._

_A voice came out of the speaker and said with a chuckle, "Well now, we call this the act of mating, but there are several other, very important diffferences between human beings and animals that you should know about." Cuddy cringed slightly, much to House's amusment. About 30 seconds of electronica came out of the speakers before the song started, along with that came House almost imperceptively moving his head to the side along with the music._

"OK," Rob came in with the biggest smile, which was not in accordance with her tone, she sounded ready to present facts, "I _may_ have finally found your guys' song. _Maybe_," she stressed. "Though there are many fine choices. Anyway, right now, I think Ego by Beyonce. I like it. At first you think she might be talking about his shlong, but it's his ego, what can I say," she smiled cheekily, "it made me think of you."

"What it with the smile?" He asked, steering the subject away from his non existent relationship.

He didn't actually get an answer, her smile just widened, and she started giggling, not unlike a girl. It concerned him to say the least. "Did what I think happened here, happen here?" Jessica asked as she walked through the door.

"That depends, does it involve an explaination for...this?" He continued to stare at Rob like she had three heads.

"She-"

"I had sex!" She exclaimed with a laugh. Jessica nodded and put her hand out to her sister. "And it was great," she continued to laugh. She took a breath, that actually made her light headed, "Oh, catch me, I'm falling," Rob faced away from her sister and fell back.

Jessica caught her, and held her there. She looked down, "Finally ready to admit it?"

Rob's smile disappeared and she stood up straight, "Shut up. Why don't you just go call Carter?" Jessica glared at her and elbowed her her sister hard in the ribs, "Ow! Greg did you see that?" She looked at her sister and back, "You guys call _me_ violent. That was _abuse_!"

"Oh puh-_lease_," she gave her sister a disbelieving look.

"I didn't hit you first, it's abuse," she kept her face forward, and crossed her arms over chest.

Jessica turned her entire body to face her, her hands going to her hips, "You baited me!"

"Shut up!" House demanded. They both looked at him in surprise, he _sometimes _told them to shut up when they started arguing, but he never sounded angry.

"What crawled up your butt and died? Lisa not putting out? Shit." Rob turned around and left the office.

Jessica watched her leave, then looked back at her cousin, "Are you OK?"

"Do you know if Cuddy got anything from your mom yesterday?" He asked quietly.

She shook her head, "I don't know." She walked behind his desk, put her hand on his cheek and kissed the top of his head.

"I'm still trying to figure out where you get that from," he grumbled. She half smiled.

"Are you going to tell her, or do you want me?"

"I vote we just don't tell her."

She started walking backwards out of his office, which was quite impressive, considering the heels and tight dress. "You know that's not going to fly forever, the only reason it's worked this long, is Wade is taking the majority of her time. And she spent...I don't even know, _days_, straight working on her final project." She stopped and smiled, "Have you seen it?"

He shook his head, "Uh-uh."

"You have to. It's very," she looked for the right word, "accurate."

_An: Hopefully I'll have another up tonight. And the song was Bad Touch, it's dirty, and there is actually a Huddy vid on Youtube._


	35. Some Fun in Peds

_An: Sorry this wasn't up Friday. I was at Kathy Griffin stand up bitches! XD And then my internet was down._

Cuddy pushed the button for the elevator, and waiting for the door to ding open. She saw someone standing there with a piece of larger than average paper blocking their face. She stepped in and saw that her floor was already pushed, so she just held her hands and waited. "What's up hot stuff?" She heard Rob ask. It's true her and her sister's voices are identical, but Jessica didn't call Cuddy 'hot stuff'.

Cuddy turned slightly, "Hey. You guys are back?"

"No," she answered in a sarcastic tone. "It's the _other_ person besides your boo that has the balls to call you hot stuff because they want to annoy you."

"Well, this part of the conversation is getting the job done," she replied, with the tone to back it up.

"Go to know," she said candidly, without putting down the paper.

"What are you reading?"

She put her arms down, revealing her huge smile, but same tone, "Nothing. I'm inspecting my work." She turned the paper around and showed Cuddy the sketch of a shirtless Dominic Purcell, "There's this girl in Peds, we were talking about how hot he was, and because she even knew who he was, I felt an obligation to draw this."

Cuddy eyed her suspiciously, "How old is she?"

"12," Rob nodded. "Needless to say," she took a deep breath, and looked back at the picture, "she has great taste. Matter o' fact, I might just keep this for myself. Hang it up in my room."

"I'm sure your boyfriend appreciates that," Cuddy nodded.

"He knows. I don't freak out when he buys a magazine just because it has Gabrielle Union on the cover. Or Aisha Tyler." Her hands dropped again and she looked away in thought, "He _really_ likes Aisha Tyler." She smirked and walked out of the elevator, Cuddy following. Rob looked up from Dominic Purcell, "Why are you following me? I think you have this backwards, _I_ stalk you when Greg's busy. You don't stalk me when he's busy. By the way, he's kinda being a bitch, what's up with that?"

She shrugged, "I don't know. And I guess I just have nothing better to do than stalk you, like, check how everything in my hospital's running."

"Wow, things must be slow. And it's OK if you want to spend more time together, I _do_ get my fabulousness from my mother."

Cuddy rolled her eyes, and started to take a left, leaving Rob, "Well, I'll just have to suffer through these next couple of hours without you. Try not to corrupt all the children in my hospital."

She smirked, "No promises."

A couple hours later, Cuddy was leading potential donors through the Pediatric Ward, and heard Hey Ya. She half smiled when she saw Rob and Jessica teaching the kids there how to shake it like a polaroid picture. "What's going on there?" The woman asked. "Candy stripers?"

"Uh, no. They are the daughters of long time donors."

"Well that's sweet they come to visit the kids."

"They've, had some history in this ward. If you'll excuse me for one moment," she smiled politely and walked through the glass doors. "What are you guys doing?" She asked loudly over the music.

"Obviously," Rob said back, "we are teaching them how to quicker develop polaroids." Like it was totally normal. Jessica smiled and turned down the music.

Cuddy raised an eyebrow, "Is this really an appropriate song choice?"

"Oh come on, they don't know." She objected.

"Uh," they heard a girl, about 13, sitting on her bed say, "_I _do."

"_Well, _you're too cool, so you don't get to butt into other people's conversations." Rob looked back at Cuddy just as the girl rolled her eyes. "See, this is why I'm _never_ having kids. I'm down to just be the aunt, that way, when they turn into teenagers, or are just straight up annoying, I can bounce their asses back to their parents."

"That plan didn't work out so well for me," Cuddy warned, earning a squinky eyed look from her.

"Fine, we'll turn on Jump in the Line," Jessica compromised, scoot the four-year-old boy on her hip higher. "And if you say no, Mom will freak out," she smiled at Cuddy, who smiled back.

"Harry Belafonte is fine," she agreed.

"Good, because, the range these kids have is atrocious."

"Though there are a few girls that hate Justin Bieber!" Rob exclaimed happily, earning a withering glare from the teenager.

Jessica mouthed, _She's not one of them_, without even seeing her face. Cuddy repressed a smile, "As long as you keep everyone happy, and as intact as when I leave."

"Of course," Jessica nodded. "Jared promises to keep an eye on us, huh?" She looked down at the little boy, who nodded at her.

Cuddy smiled at the adorable boy. "Who are you?" She asked softly.

"This is my boyfriend," Jessica answered when he stayed quiet. "I've gone cougar, but he's just too cute not to."

"I'm jealous," Rob shrugged. "Oh, by the way, y'all, this is Dr. Cuddy, she runs this popsicle stand, be nice to her, or she'll cut you."

"As you all know," her sister announced, "Rob is full of lies, so don't believe a word she says."

Rob followed up with, "My sister is incredibly intelligent and competent."

"Vete a la mierda," she gave her sister a look.

"Besa mi culo," she glared at her.

"Hey!" Cuddy stopped them. "I have two potential donors 20 feet from here," she gestured behind her, "and if either of them are like your dad, you two yelling swear words at each other is _not_ going to help. Doesn't matter if they're in Spanish."

"Don't worry," Rob waved her hand dismissingly, "they're unilingual. They have a look about them," she said in answer to Cuddy confused look. "He was born into money, went from there. She got herself, at _least_, a boob job and a tummy tuck, if not a nose job, needless to say, she married for the money."

"Are you always this rude?" The teenage girl asked.

"Are you always this annoying?" Rob snapped. "And it's not rudeness, it's truth." She looked back at Cuddy, "Anyway, go back to your shmoozing. We'll be over later, unless you and Greg have," she put her fingers up, ready to do air quotes, and said with an extremely exagerated wink, ""talking", to do."

"Ew-"

Rob whipped around, "No one's talking to you!" She turned even more, "Come on guys, teenagers especially, is she not hot?" Cuddy shifted uncomfortably and she and Jessica rolled their eyes when the eyes of every male minor went to her. A 15-year-old across the room whistled. "Yes," Rob walked over to him and gave him a high five. "He's my new favorite."

"Well, before you ask me to put on a bikini and twirl," the administrator pointed behind her, "I'm going to go."

She turned and walked out, jumping slightly when Jump in the Line at a very loud volume, began playing. She just _knew_ that Rob had the controller, and a smirk.


	36. More Fun in Peds

_An: (Pouty sad lip) I found a fic that had the potential to be funny, but it totally felt like they stole my popsicle dialouge. Anyway, we meet Wade, and one of Rob and Jessica's old friends soon._

Rob fell backwards onto the end of Rebecca's bed. She was the 12-year-old she drew Dominic Purcell for, and she was pretty cool. "Where's my "Man of Faith" poster?" She asked.

Rob turned her head, "I didn't see him, you ingrate." She looked above her head and smirked, "Though I do like where you put the picture."

"Well of course, are you telling me you don't have one of him above your bed? Oh," she leaned over the edge of her bed, and Rob saw a picture of Rebecca with her family. She used to have long brown hair before she started chemo. "Here," she straightened up and put a poster on Rob's chest, "my dad brought me this."

She unrolled it, it was a poster with Jon Murphy after a fight. "Nice..."

"So why are you smilely?"

Her smile widened, "I had sex for the first time last night."

"Nuh uh," annoying thirteen-year-old girl said from her bed. "You're like, twenty."

Rob looked scrutinizingly, "Your sister lost it at 15. I'll take your silence as a yes. So your sister is a whore." She got an outraged look. "Oh calm down, my sister lost it at 17."

"Hey!" Jessica called from across the room.

"Oh, just go back to your boyfriends!" Jessica may have glared at her, but she went back to talking to the half circle of boys around her. Most to all staring at her with a slightly slack jawed expression. It was cute when Rob said boyfriends, Jared got up and sat in Jessica's lap. Rob mouthed, "Awwww..." to her sister, earning another glare. She smirked and laid her head back.

"You like him," Rebecca accused with a smile.

"No duh."

"No, no. You _like_," she drew out the word, "him."

"Ha!" Jessica yelled. This time Rob glared at her.

Rob looked at Rebecca, "You're twelve, shut up." The girl just smiled and looked down.


	37. Old Bets

The team looked up when Rob and Jessica came through the door, arguing. Jessica sounded very frustrated, "-just don't tell people because something mildly related comes up."

The stopped in the middle of the outer office. Rob pointed to her sister and announced loudly, "She lost her virginity when she was 17!" Jessica's eyes closed, and she sighed, not being able to believe that she had gone over two decades without killing her sister. Rob looked at her with a smile, "There, that wasn't midly related to what they were talking about." She faced forward again, lost the smile, and drew her eyebrows together when she saw 13, "Who's this, and why do I care?"

13 didn't answer for a minute, still trying to process this, but she gave up on trying and said, "13. Who are you?"

Before Jessica had a chance to give their names, Rob answered, "The Wonder Twins." She looked at her sister, "Doesn't explain why I care."

"I think this is the girl Greg wanted us to meet."

"Did-Did you just call House 'Greg'?" Thirteen asked.

"Duh," Rob answered. "Do you call _your_ cousin by his last name?" She looked at Jessica with a thoughtful expression, knowing that 13 had had to come up in one of her and House's conversations. "Oh! Your the bisexual chick! Sorry, I didn't actually bother to learn your name, I just said Huntingtons whenever something about you came up. Well, I'm off to see Wilson's chicken."

Jessica shook her head as her sister walked out of the office, "I'm sorry about her. We had a limited sample for influence."

"Ho bag!" Rob stopped walking and spun around slowly.

Her eyes widened. "Bennet!" She ran at the tall, pretty cute, athletically built brunette in his early twenties. She slammed into him and put her arms around his waist, knocking the wind out of him. She let go, "I haven't seen you, what the hell?"

"Hey, you came to _my_ state. I didn't even know you were in town. Why didn't you come to see _me_?"

"Ben!" Jessica exclaimed. It sort of surprised people that _she_ ran to him. With heels. When she got to him, she threw her arms around his neck, and her knees bent.

He stumbled backwards, "Whoa!" He put his arms around her lower back, and tried not to let the suit jacket over his arm fall, "I may be in good shape, but not good enough to hold your fat ass."

"Hey!" She let go and let her feet hit the ground, "I resent that." She turned around and looked over her shoulder at her butt, "I run hard for this thing."

He shook his head, "Whatever. Um, Rob?" He nodded at the team.

She looked at them and took a step back, "Oh," she said, putting an arm around his waist and sounding bored with the idea of them being there, "this is Ben."

"He your boyfriend?" Chase asked.

She looked at Ben with a slightly confused look, "Not unless I suddenly grew a penis." She grabbed her boobs, and pulled the waistband of her jeans away from her body and looked down. "Nope. Still a girl."

"He's gay," Jessica explained. He rolled up the sleeve on his left arm and lifted it to show the rainbow braclet. "I want one of those."

"Talk to my mother, or go buy one from anywhere." Jessica smiled and pushed him.

"We have known him since we were like, 5." Jessica said, still beaming.

Rob turned to him, completely ignoring the team, "I didn't know if you were gonna be home, Mr. Fancy Coporate Mama's Boy." She said in defense, continuing their conversation.

"Hey, the world of fashion is a and chaotic and busy one."

"A gay guy in fashion," she said sarcastically, "go figure."

"And an asshole in art," he said in the same tone, "go figure." She smiled. "Speaking of which, how are your favorite models?"

"You didn't see Lisa on your way up?"

"I saw her office, but she wasn't in it."

She sighed, "Probably some afternoon delight with Greg."

Ben's eyes widened, "No."

"Yes."

He looked at the more reliable twin, who nodded, "They got together."

"Oh my god. Girl," he looked at Rob, "you have so many bets to collect on."

"I _do._ Oh, I'd forgotten about those. Sadly, in total I'll only be like, 20 bucks richer."

"Good, you can buy me lunch."

She rolled her eyes, "Hell, we'll spend that much just drivin to their houses. If they still live here."

"They do," he nodded. "Hey..." he watched House limped closer. "It's the cripple that made it all possible."

Any wonder about who it was completely erased from House's mind, and he rolled his eyes, "Oh god."

Bennet smiled, "I knew you'd remember me."

House glanced down to the color on the young man's wrist, "I called it."

"Yeah, you called it when I had a crush on Rob."

House looked at his cousin, "You turned him gay at _five_?"

"No, it's _because_ he never had me that he turned gay." She corrected.

"By the way, kudos on the hottie." House nodded. "You know, I was really pulling for you and Jimmy," he smirked when House shook his head and turned around.

"And you tell me you weren't flaming at a young age." He called.

"Let's go get my money," Rob said.

"Thought you wanted to go see WIlson's chicken?" Jessica smirked.

"Forget Wilson's chicken! I wanna go get my money!"

Ben raised his hand as they started to walk away, "I wanna see it."

Jessica smiled and pushed him again, "There will be no seeing of James Wilson's rooster. I'm going to have nightmares tonight with just that thought in my head."

Thirteen looked at Chase, "I thought House and Cuddy broke up."

Immediately, Rob stopped walking. She turned around slowly, and her sister knew something happened. She hadn't heard it, but she knew it was big. Rob kept walking until she reached 13, and asked in a low voice, "_What_?"

_"Man, I hate being at bat." Rob whined._

_Jessica shook her head while putting her hair back into a ponytail, then slipped it through the back of her cap. "Well, that's the way we get points."_

_"Yeah, but you don't _do_ anything. It's boring."_

_House set a lawn chair down by them and fell into it, "When are you guys up, this is boring."_

_"Told you," Rob shook her head at her sister._

_"I can't believe I'm spending my Saturday watching 10-year-olds play softball. I don't even like these people."_

_"Then why'd you come?" Jessica put her hand on her waist._

_"I felt I should show my support for the people I do like, and hellp you guys win...or something."_

_"So Mom's making you," she shrugged._

_"Tell anyone at the hospital, and I'll make sure everyone knows I've seen your mom naked." He threatened._

_"You realize that _she _would just kill you. And if anyone at the hospital knew, it could be Wilson, or Lisa."_

_He groaned, "Why did you even invite her?"_

_"Cause I like her."_

_"...You have that tone."_

_"House!"_

_"Speak of the she-devil," he mumbled._

_Cuddy walked over and pointed behind her, "Did you take that guy's chair?"_

_"You took his chair?" Jessica looked at him in disbelief._

_"No!" He said in his obviously fake offended voice. "What kind over cripple," he lifted his cane, Jessica and Cuddy just rolled their eyes, "would come to a sports event without something to sit on?"_

_"Uh, _you_?" Cuddy guessed sarcastically. "You said there would be bleachers."_

_"Did not, I would never chance that only the bottom seats would be open."_

_"That is exactly what you did. We both rode with Wilson. He pointed that out."_

_"That I'm a responsible adult that always thinks ahead?"_

_She scoffed, "No."_

_"Excuse me guys," the girls' coach came over, "the girls at bat can't concentrate."_

_"Sorry," Cuddy appologized. She grabbed House's arm, pulled him up, and led away._

_"Wow," the twins' friend Tina rested her arm on the top of the bat, "they really hate eachother."_

_"Eh," Rob took House's vacated seat._

_"Oh come on," Jessica rolled her eyes and squished into the chair next to her sister._

_"Hey," she looked at her, "_you're _the advocate."_

_"Doesn't mean they don't want to strangle eachother."_

_"Agreed," she nodded. "But he is definitely tearing off her clothes with his eyes right now."_

_"Why do you have to put that in my head?" Tina grimaced. "And he doesn't want a _thing_ with her. He's still hung up on Stacy."_

_"Well duh," Rob shook her head, "but that won't stop him from hooking up with Lisa."_

_"It will stop him seriously, he's so going to get back with Stacy."_

_Jessica scoffed, "No. That's not happening. Neither of them don't want the other back enough to actually come back. I'm willing to bet money that he and Lisa start something."_

_"Please," Rob rolled her eyes in mock annoyance when Ben sat on the ground next to her, "it's all about House and Wilson."_

_"Nuh uh," Jessica shook her head, "he loves chillin with Wilson, but the nudity thing is not going to happen."_

_"Now _you're_ putting things in my head," Tina closed her eyes and shook her head, trying to empty her head of intrusive thoughts._

_"What are we talking about?" Two more of their friends came over and sat down in front of the twins._

_"Tina thinks Greg is hung up on Stace, I say Greg is hooking up with Lise, and Ben says..." Jessica looked around her sister at the boy, who shook his head._

_"I was kidding, smart money's on the boss."_

_"No way," Steph shook her head, "there's no way she would put up with him. And Stacy would be insane to come back."_

_"She was insane to get with him in the first place," Emma argued, "she's coming back."_

_"Care to put money on it?" Rob suggested innocently. "$5?_

_"I'm in," Jessica immediately agreed._

_"Yeah," Tina nodded._

_"Confidence is my middle name," Steph stated._

_After some thought, Emma nodded. "Sweet." Rob smiled._

_"What's the time line?" Tina asked._

_"Isn't one," Rob shook her head, "it happens, you get money." She smirked when she saw Cuddy and House walking back towards them. She kept walking, but he stopped._

_When she was out of ear shot, he told Rob and Jessica to stand up, then pushed the chair backwards. "I thought you said that was your chair?" Jessica gave him a knowing smirk._

_Which he chose to ignore, "Hell no. You think I'd lug a lawn chair around. Well, some idiot is dying. Kick ass," he put his fist out to Rob, and limped away when she hit it with hers._

_She watched him leave, then looked back at the group with a smirk, "Anyone care to say if their wager holds?"_


	38. Lists

"Are you dating who I think you're dating?" House asked as he came up behind Rob. Who was, for some reason, standing at a nurse's station with a pencil and paper.

"That depends," she looked forward. "Do you think I'm dating a rich, white, nerdy kid?"

His eyebrows drew together slightly, "No."

She nodded, "Then maybe." She tored the page she was working on out of the pad and left it on the desk as she walked away. He picked it up, it said in big block letter "House" followed by a small "MD". Everything other than the capital H and MD were underlined, with shadows from the letters. "Oh," Rob came back and slammed a sheet of paper down, and continued with an angry tone, "_asshole_." She left again, leaving paper that had a list, also in block letters. Names, going down vertically. Sadie, Stacy, Lydia, and Lisa were crossed out.

He sighed, "Well that went much better than expected."

_House hit Rob's arm lightly with the back of his hand, "Hey. Get up."_

_"No," the little girl grumbled._

_"Time to go to bed. Your mother will kill me if you go home tomorrow with bloodshot eyes."_

_"They're closed," she argued from her fetal position on his couch. "I doubt they'll get bloodshot."_

_"Don't do this crap to me. You're not two, don't do the whole, "I'm not tired" thing. I thought you were better than that."_

_She exhaled through her nose, trying to get rid of the exhaustion, "We have to wait for Stacy, you jackwagon. She's less bitchy in the morning if someone's awake when she comes home. You know, the whole, martini and a kiss at the door. I got the martini if you got the kiss," she bargained. "It's like you in reverse. You're pissy if someone's still awake."_

_"Cause you're mother threatens me with castration if you fall asleep in tap, or swimming, or whatever the hell you do."_

_"All of the above."_

_"Jessica's already asleep, warming your side of the pillow," he said, trying to get her to get up willingly._

_"There's a pillow right here," she countered._

_He grabbed the throw pillow, "Not anymore."_

_"Why do you care where I sleep? You'll have more room if I don't sleep in there."_

_"The couch will mess up your back."_

_"Nice terminology. Where'd you get that? Medsch..." She finally fell asleep. Kids below double digits should not stay up into the wee hours of the morning. House was glad she finally passed out, but was a little puzzled about how to get her into bed. Canes coupled with newly crippled legs does not an easy transport make. He grabbed a rolling chair, pulled it over to the couch, and rolled her onto it. It wouldn't be comfortable if she were awake, but she wasn't, and it was the only way she was getting down the hall._

_An: That was when Stacy left, I don't believe I made that terribly clear._


	39. Such Good Times

_An: Sorry this took so long. It's going to be rather different._

Chase opened the door, and pushed the blinds aside before stepping into the DDX room. Everyone was already gone, and after chatting with a cute nurse for awhile, he'd noticed he didn't have his keys. It was dark in the room, which was to be expected, but he saw one of the girls in a chair. She squinted when she turned her head and the light hit her face. "Oh," Chase stopped, "I didn't think anyone was here."

"Close the door," she said irritably. He moved his hand and let the blinds fall back into place.

Chase walked towards the table, and sat in a chair to her right. Based on the jeans, the fact she had her feet on the table, and the whiskey glass, he was betting that it was Rob. "No plans?" He asked innocently. "I'd have thought you were going to do something with your friend."

"Ben." She supplied. "He's in...Paris, or, Milan, or some other fashion capital that I really don't give a damn about." She took a drink. "His mom's a designer, and he oddly enough went with sterotype of the fashion loving gay man. Not his fault though." Her head fell back, "At least he doesn't like A Chorus Line." She chuckled, and sang quietly, "God I hope I get it." Then said with a British accent, in mock excitement, "Gay showtunes." Rob lifted her head and stared ahead silently for awhile. "By the way," she looked at Chase, "don't tell Lisa I'm drinking. She'd get pissed about me drinking in her hospital, and say something about telling my mom. Then she'd realize that I am of the legal drinking age, and just be pissed I'm drinking in her hospital. Only Greg has a special permit for that don'tcha know," she nodded. Rob chuckled. "I remember one time, Lisa came over cause her and my mom were gonna do something girly, and she saw me making two martinis, and she _freaked out_. Then Greg came into the kitchen, and asked what was taking so long." She smiled.

"Who was the other one for?"

"Stace. She as well was going to join in the girliness."

"How old were you?"

She took a deep breath while she thought. "...7? I knew how to make them before that. My dad was pissed until he found out I could make his drink, and my mom _laughed._ She loved that I was little Greg, and not his penis. I was the original, Little, Little Greg. Then his cane took my spot." She downed the last of the liquor, then reached down with her left hand and pulled up a very large, on its way to half empty, bottle of Jack Daniels. She began to refill her glass. "Do you want any? If you're not afraid of cooties, you can have the glass."

"No thanks." Something popped into his head, and he had to ask, "Did House really date your mom in college?"

"Well, from what I'm told, it wasn't really dating. They'd hang out, hook up. It was friends with benefits pretty much. My dad actually met her when she was leaving Greg's apartment."

_Jeff waited in the hall for his cousin to open the door after knocking. Instead of House, however, a tall, very pretty blonde did. She smiled when she saw him, "Hi."_

_"Hi." He greeted. He was usually very good with talking to girls, but that's all that came to him._

_She chuckled, "Hi. Did you want to come in? Greg's up."_

_"Uh, yeah." She opened the door wider and stepped back. Jeff was _praying_ that she was a new roommate, but then he saw that she was wearing a man's blue dress shirt. _The only _dress shirt his cousin owned. She had it tied at her hips, and made it look good._

_She turned around and grabbed a bag and started stuffing various text books into it. Jeff watched her until House came out of his room in his pajamas, he crossed his arms on a table top and leaned over. The girl threw her long hair over her shoulder and stood up, putting the bag's strap on her shoulder. "Greg," she turned to look at him, "are we going out later?" He nodded sleepily. She nodded, "Later."_

_She started towards the door, "Bye." He responded._

_She looked at Jeff when her hand was on the knob. She winked, "Bye." Then walked out, closing the door behind her._

_Jeff stared at the door, "That was Sadie." House informed._

_He continued to stare for a second, then looked at his cousin, "How did you get her?"_

_"Mad skill," House nodded._

_Jeff blinked and sighed, "Wow. You lucky bastard. I can't believe you actually remember her name."_

_"Oh shut up. I also didn't meet her last night, I've known her awhile."_

_"You lucky bastard," he repeated._

_"Ask her out," he said a bit irritably, he was kind of hungover, and his head hurt._

_"Really?" Jeff asked._

_"I don't care." He put his thumb on his eyelids. "I don't want to date her, she doesn't want to date me. Go for it. You know, as long as you don't mind that she likes my _huge, incredible..._GPA." He chuckled when Jeff socked him in the arm._

"Your dad really didn't have a problem with that?" Chase asked after the cliffnotes version was given.

Rob laughed, "Would you?" Chase didn't answer, but she wasn't expecting him to. "But yes. He didn't just want her for ass, it did kind of bother him that his cousin had seen his girlfriend naked, and would constantly bring it up, just to screw with him."

"Your mom didn't really seem like she-"

"Slept around as a young adult?" She looked at him. "You do, why can't she? _And_, if I may add, as a result of her sleeping around, she found her husband and 2.5 kids, and the dog, and we do actually have a fence. Not picket, but, whatever. She told me she does love Greg, but she was never _in_ love with him, and never could be. Frankly, I don't blame her, he's an assface." Chase laughed. With her slurring, the last sentence was especially funny. "What _is_ with you and wanting to bang my family?"

"Honestly?"

"No. Lie to me," she said sarcastically. "Of course you dumbass."

"Are you going to remember this conversation?"

She drained her glass in one swallow, her face screwing up. She took a minute before answering, "Most likely not. But I can keep drinking if it makes you feel better," she nodded, and repoured.

He considered her a moment. "What does House call them?" He asked himself. "Funbags."

She burst out laughing. "Of course it is. It's _always _about the funbags." She watched as her ankle rotated. "You know, my mom could, biologically speaking, be your mother. She's like, 17ish years older than you." Rob looked at him, "She thought you were cute if it's any consolation. Not cute enough to leave my dad, but," she raised the cup to her mouth, and said into the glass before taking a drink, "not even Clooney's cute enough for her to leave him."

"Why did your mom go out with your dad?"

"Cause she's an eleven, and he's more of an 8?" She looked forward, "I'm told he's very charming. And despite what you may think, my mother's not a whore."

Chase looked at her as he realized this was a good opportunity. "What about House?"

"What? Is _he _a whore? The thought has crossed my mind. Or, you wanted to know something?" She shook her head slightly.

"What was he like when you guys lived here?" He shrugged.

Rob looked in her glass, watching the liquid swish around, "He was Greg, around kids."

_Stacy and Cuddy came out of Cuddy's house, smiling about something Stacy said about House. The smile was immediately wiped from their faces when they saw an upside down, mud covered Rob, grinning like a fool with her arms hanging down. House was holding her by one ankle, arms length away from his body, and clean clothes, looking at her, careful to make sure she didn't touch him. She laughed when she saw the women, "Hey Lisa."_

_"What the hell happened?" The doctor demanded. "I told you to stay clean! And you," she turned an accusing eye towards House, "you were s'posed to keep her clean."_

_"Well, we had every intention of staying nice and neat, maybe go get kittens out of trees, or, read to deaf kids," House shrugged innocently. "We're givers." Cuddy raised an eyebrow and Stacy rolled her eyes. "And, out of nowhere, some girl challenged Rob to defend her title as mud wrestling champion. And," he put his hand out to the women on the porch, "with you two, strong, take charge women as her role models, she felt obligated to rise to the challenge."_

_"It's true," Rob nodded. "I felt like I would have brought dishonor to the family if I had refused to challenge."_

_"You've been watching too much Mulan," Stacy accused._

_"You guys don't believe any of this-" House started._

_"Ya think?" Cuddy asked sarcastically._

_"-but we're telling the truth." He sighed dramatically, and looked down at his upside down cousin, "This is what happens when you try to tell people the truth. They mock all the hardship you've had to go through."_

_Rob shook her head solemly, "Breaks your heart."_

_House shrugged and started towards the house, "Whoa!" Cuddy stopped his progession. "Don't you dare take her in my house." She could just _foresee _the mess that would be left behind._

_House rolled his eyes, "What do you want me to do? Hose her down in the yard?" He thought a second, then shrugged and started to take her to the middle of Cuddy's yard._

"He did seriously hose me off in her yard." She informed. "Lise and Stacy were just rolling their eyes the entire time. I honestly don't know what they expected."

Chase leaned back in his chair, "You know, you're not as much like House as I expected."

"When I was little I was. Which is pretty sad, cause I was single digits and a jackass." She looked down, the semi interested look gone, "Jessica was a little Lisa." Her voice was quiet and sad.

Chase tilted his head to ge a better look at her face, "Are you crying?" He asked when he saw the streaks on her cheeks.

She wiped her free hand across her cheek, "Yes I am." She looked at him, "Did you just notice that?"

"Did you?"

She shrugged and looked away, "I don't get sad and cry like normal people. It worries my dad. Why? How do you cry?"

"When I get sad?" He shrugged.

"We'll just spontaniously cry. And yes, "we" means my sister and I."

"It always happens like this?"

"No, usually it makes a lot less sense. At least now I'm at least a _little _upset."

"You ever seen House cry?"

She looked at him strangely, "Only all the time."

Chase tilted his head and looked at her more closely, "_Really_?"

"Yeah. Mainly when he's drunk and depressed. It kinda looks like this," she pointed her fingers back at her, wrapping them around her glass on one hand. "Though he likes to do it at home, a lot later." She stared at the table, deep in thought. "I don't like when Lisa cries," she concluded quietly. "She's not s'posed to get so upset by him that she cries. He doesn't want her to," she shook her head, her eyes still fixed on the glass corner, "he doesn't like it when she does."

"He doesn't seem like that." Chase remarked.

"He hates when she cries. She doesn't want to play anymore when he hits too hard."

"He doesn't seem to understand that he's turned her into a punching bag these last couple of weeks," Chase said.

"He wants her to cry now," she pressed her lips together and swallowed, "he wants her to hurt, because he's a sadistic mother fucker sometimes. And he wants her to feel how he does." She looked at him in confusion, "Why did Wilson let this happen to them?"

Chase wasn't really sure what to say. "I don't think anyone could have stopped it." She looked back at the table. "I bet everyone at your house was going for them."

She laughed, "No. You are looking at the face of the only two people that wanted them to hook up," Rob stated, all traces of sadness gone. She glanced at him, "And I say "face" because you can't fucking tell us apart anyway. You know, for a smart person, you're kind of a dumbass." She raised her glass to her lips, but pulled it away when a sudden thought struck her, "Oh, and you are not nearly as hot as I expected."

"Thank you," he replied sarcastically.

But she continued as if he hadn't spoken, "From the way Greg ranted, I was expecting an Adonis. Now, you're cute, but, I would have sworn Greg had a crush on you." She started to bring the glass back to her mouth, but moved it towards him as she pointed to nothing in particular, "And the bisexual one, I thought that I was going to be ready to go lez for her," Rob shrugged, "she's the same thing as you. Pretty," she looked at the coffee maker, and shook her head, "but I've turned down hotter."

"You get hit on by girls?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I go to a lot of gay bars."


	40. Wade!

_An: Well, this is a stupid chapter title, but my brain can't do any better (I couldn't even think of a euphamism for sex, vital in House stories I might add) and it's rather self explanatory. I would just like to say, I came up with Wade, _long_ before The Fix, and DS was like, reading my mind with things in this story. And the Jessica thing later on was not impromtu, I thought of that before Recession Proof, then modified it to fit with that episode._

Chase watched the girls walk down the hall towards House's office. His eyebrows drew together when he saw Rob standing up straight, sans sunglasses, or any other sign of a hangover. She was talking to her sister and looked like she did on any other day. They turned, Rob pulling open and holding the door, and walked into House's main office. "We're having a dispute and we need you to settle it," she announced to her cousin.

"We are not asking him," Jessica denied.

"Why?"

"Because he's going to side with you."

"Why do you say that?"

"Besides the fact that you two always take each other's side," she raised an eyebrow at her sister, "he would agree with you because he's..." she searched for an appropriate word. "Him."

"Fine, we'll ask him," Rob waved to Chase, who was standing in the doorway that led into the outer office. "Oh," Rob looked at House, "your Brit gets very nosy when he thinks someone's smashed." She put her hand to the side of her mouth the way you would when telling a secret, and said hoarsely, "I think he's _gay_." She let her hand fall to her side, "He wanted to know what your hopes and dreams are, and he wanted to know if you were the sensitive, you know," she shrugged, "if you cried during sex and what not." Chase looked at her with his mouth open, Jessica just sighed and shook her head, and House smiled a little. "I told him we didn't have that type of relationship, and he should ask Wilson."

House nodded, "He would know. How much were you drinking?" House asked curiously.

Rob put her hands up and apart, "About yay much." She put her thumb and pointer finger as far apart as they could go, "Bout yay drunk."

"I think she's on a mission to fry her liver," Jessica told Chase boredly.

"Anyway, our issue is, I think most girls are bitches," Rob's head jerked towards her sister, "she disagrees." Chase stared at them for awhile, and thanked God when someone in the hall whistled, and drew their attention away from him. Rob threw open the door as the rest of the team walked into the outer office, and jumped onto the guy in the hall, putting her hands on his neck and on the back of his head, kissing him. He put a hand on her ass, and the other on her back.

Jessica smiled. She glanced over her shoulder at House, "Watch this. She damn near turns into a girl around him." When they looked back, Rob was on her feet, with her arms still around his neck, smiling as she talked to him. He was shorter than she was, not by much, maybe an inch or two, his head was shaved, and had incredibly dark skin. Rob's tan complexion looked like snow next to him. She didn't seem to notice how messed up his face was, a busted lip, and his cheek and eyebrow that House could see had swelled. He figured it didn't bother her because she was so used to it, Wade _was_ the boxer he'd seen on tv, and Rob was the girl that came into the ring. They watched the couple talk for a few more seconds before Wade glanced into the office, and Rob turned around, tucking a couple of the fingers on his right hand into her back pocket before leading him into the office.

The way he was dressed reminded House of how he dressed when he was young, which wasn't that much different from now, jeans, a t-shirt, and a jacket. Rob waved to House, and started speed introducing, "Greg, Wade. Wade, Greg." Wade gave a wave, and turned with Rob, stepping closer to her. She pointed to Chase and looked at her boyfriend over her shoulder, "That's the horny Aussie that wants into either of our pants," she pointed over her other shoulder in Jessica's general direction, "remember?" He nodded. She nodded once, then continued, "Chase." She pointed to 13, seeing her and the rest of the team, "That's..." she shook her head, "I don't remember, but she's bi." Rob glanced back at him, then looked back into the room and pointed to Masters, "That's Masters, she's annoying. That's Foreman, he was briefly shtupping Jessica-" House looked at the aforementioned girl, whose eyes were closed, and he could tell she'd just finished sighing. "And that's Taub, he's a tiny Jew that kept cheating on his wife. OK, whole team in under twenty seconds, I deserve lunch."

"Rob, it's eleven o'clock," her sister corrected in an annoyed tone.

She glanced at her, "Fine, then elevenses. Oh," she pointed 13 and Foreman out quickly, "Apparently that one and that one used to date," she pointed to Chase, and then 13, "and that one wants to hook up that one. OK, this was Wade," she announced to the team, Wade giving a wave, "Bye." She hooked the ends of her fingers with the ends of her boyfriend's and led him towards the door.

"W-wait," House stopped them. "Someone needs to explain the Foreman shtupping," he gestured to Jessica.

"You didn't know?" Rob asked. "Damn. Slow."

Wade turned around, still allowing himself to be pulled, "I hear lots of bad things about you," he told House, "but the good mostly outweighs the bad." He smiled and turned.

"Depends on who you ask," Jessica mumbled.

"Why do you have a bag?" Rob asked as the door swung close.

"I came from the airport." Rob smiled and slid his entire hand into her back pocket.

Jessica watched them go, trying to put off looking at House for as long as possible. When she couldn't anymore, she looked at him innocently. "They're cute, right?"

House just stared at her, his hands folded on his desk, and his eyebrows raised, "Shtupping?"

She rolled her eyes and replied with an irritated tone, "Who I date, or don't date is _my_ business."

House squinted at her, "Were you the date he had?" He was referring to the date Foreman cancelled to go to the award dinner.

Jessica stared at him mutely for a moment, then bit her tongue with her molars and answered with a longer than normal blink, "No."

House's eyes widened, she'd gotten that from Cuddy. "You were!" He exclaimed quietly.

"_My business_," she repeated before turning on her heel and strutting out. _Oh god, _he thought. _Her Cuddyness is returning_.


	41. Cuddy's DoAbility

_"I'm leaving," Jeff announced and pushed himself out of the lawn chair on his front lawn, careful not to spill his beer._

_"Why?" Cuddy asked, having just joined House, Wilson, Rob and Jeff. She saw Wilson glance down, blushing lightly, Jeff stiffen, and House smirking. She did not trust that smirk. "What?" She asked suspiciously._

_"Nothing," Jeff and Wilson denied at the same time._

_A noise, like a laugh/snort broke the awkward silence that followed. Cuddy looked at Rob, who had her knuckles to her mouth. The doctor had the very funny feeling that she didn't want to know what they were talking about. "Well, I think someone, who looks fabulous today by the way," House smirked at her, after taking in the shorts and v-neck, Cuddy rolled her eyes, "would be very flattered by Wilson's rating of them." Cuddy looked at the oncologist, who looked even farther away, and blushed even more._

_"I'm going to go see if Sadie needs any help," Jeff announced quickly and started to walk away._

_"I don't know," House started thoughtfully, "I don't think you'd get pissed. 9.5 is a pretty good rating, right?" He asked Cuddy. Jeff stopped his abnormally quick walk abruptly. "In his defense, Rob just came out. He wasn't openly rating her mom's best friends on the do-ability scale."_

"We need to admit Rob," House said when he came up behind Cuddy at the nurse's station in the clinic.

"What?" She looked away from her chart in alarm, "Why? What's wrong?"

"She has Jungle Fever," he replied with a straight face.

Cuddy looked back at her file and rolled her eyes. Her head jerked to side to look at him, "Really?" She did an eyebrow shrug and looked back to her work. "What's he like?"

"He didn't really talk."

"Then why'd you come to tell me?" She flipped the file closed and started to walk away.

He shrugged a shoulder, "Just thought you'd want to know. I just figured you would want to know if he was Southern or Jewish." He called after her.

Cuddy rolled her eyes and walked to the elevator. She needed more tongue depressors for an exam room in the clinic, and for some reason, the easiest supply closet to find was not on the first floor. She smiled to the patients and doctors she passed on the way. When she gots to the closet, she pulled open the door, and the scene, surprised her, to say the least. Rob was against the shelves, playing tonsil hockey, with a guy who was presumably Wade, with her hand up his shirt. _New take on an old classic_, Cuddy thought. Rob must have noticed the change of lighting, because she pulled her lips away from her boyfriend, who turned around, looking away from Cuddy's eyes immediately, and coughing. "Lisa, this is Wade," she introduced. Like it wasn't weird at all that Cuddy first saw him with his tongue down the throat of a girl she had known since she was single digits. In a closet, in her hospital. "Wade, Lisa."

"Hi." He at least had the good sense to be embarrassed.

"Hi," Cuddy replied.

"So, what do you need?" Rob asked.

"Tongue depressors."

Rob glanced behind her and grabbed a box, handing it to Cuddy, "Here you go. See you later."

Cuddy raised an eyebrow at Rob, then gestured with her head, "Get out." Rob sighed and pulled her boyfriend out of the closet. The doctor kept her hand on the knob as she turned to look at them, "Really? In my hospital?"

"He's got to keep up with my needs." Rob shrugged. "I might cheat on him if he doesn't."

Cuddy looked tiredly at Wade. "Please keep up with her needs elsewhere," she requested with a tone to go with her look. "Preferably, somewhere far away, where it won't even register in my mind what needs she needs fulfilled."

He chuckled in the back of his throat, then looked at Rob, "Is she-"

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Oh," he nodded and looked back at Cuddy. He nodded again and told his girlfriend, "You were right." He smiled at Cuddy, and held out his hand, "Wade Tucker. Current gate keeper of this slice of insanity."

"Hi, Lisa Cuddy," Cuddy smiled, accepting his hand.

"I heard a lot about you. You're kind of famous at her mom's house."

"Really? And," she looked at Rob, "what were you right about?" She asked suspiciously.

"I told him he'd think you were do-able. He didn't believe me," she shook her head, "he doesn't like older girls."

"You couldn't have said that I think she is a beautiful woman, could you?" She shrugged a shoulder, and he shook his head. He exhaled, "I'm glad I'm around people that understand she's insane, clears up a lot of time that I reserve for the explanations." Cuddy chuckled, she liked this kid.

"I know how you feel."

"Yeah, it's been great, I haven't had to explain anything to anyone. We should come here more often," he suggested to his girlfriend.

"But then Mom'll cry," she pointed out. "She'd miss you, and your muscles." Cuddy looked at her oddly. "No, seriously Lise." She grabbed Wade's wrist and lifted his arm, "Feel it." Cuddy looked at him first, and he gave her a, 'might as well' shrugged and flexed slightly. _OK, _Cuddy thought, _about to feel the muscles of a guy I just met, who is dating someone I've known forever._ She put her hand on his bicep and squeezed lightly. _Wow_. She squeezed his arm harder, but didn't get her fingers any closer together than the first time. "Nice, right?" Rob smirked gleefully. "You could punch him and break _your_ hand. Too bad he got his ass beat," she looked at him.

"I still won," he replied indignantly.

She put her hands up, but when she looked at Cuddy, she put them down and mouthed, "_Barely._"

He narrowed his eyes at his girlfriend, "Fine. Then I _barely _have time for a visit," he turned and started to walk away.

She turned too, and Cuddy nearly laughed when all the humor was wiped from Rob's face, "But, you said you were staying the night."

He looked at her, "I don't know that you want a _barely_ winner at your house."

She walked over to him and nodded, "I do. I mean," she shrugged and adopted a teasing tone, "I deserve _way _better than you, but I guess you'll do for now." They smiled at eachother, and she grabbed his left hand.

"It was nice to meet you," Wade told Cuddy over his shoulder as he and Rob walked away.

"You too." She watched them walk away, "Huh," she said to herself, "he almost makes her a girl."


	42. Our Family Game Night

_An: I just saw that the site didn't allow Jessica's email, well it's MspantsJr...I don't know why, but that was vital to me that you guys knew that...And, who else is pleasantly surprised at how good [H]ouse was last night? And, the promo for next week made me ridiculously happy, Wilson _and_ Sail?_ _(That's the name of the song playing for those who didn't know that) By the way, this was just ready, it doesn't have to go exactly here._

Rob picked up the folded slip of paper, and straightened up. She read it quickly, closed her fist around it, and looked at her sister, "Ahem. I'm Foxy Cleopatra, and I'm a whole _lotta_ woman!" She exclaimed with attitude.

Jessica chuckled, looking at her from her chair. "Lisa," she answered. Rob nodded.

She threw the balled up paper next to the beanie on the table in House's outer office, and pulled out another fortune sized piece of paper. After she read it, she looked at her sister with an insincere smile and said in a southern accent, "Thank you, so much-"

"Stacy," Jessica replied through her laughter. Rob smiled widely and chuckled, grabbing another paper.

She sucked air in through her teeth, and said in a teary tone, "You're my special soldier. You're too precious for this world."

Her sister bit her bottom lip in an attempt not to smile like an idiot. "Wilson," she answered in a strained voice.

Rob grabbed another slip, and thought for a few second, then almost sang, "And I believe, gettin kinda chubby. I'm just saying, cause I wuv you."

Jessica's eyebrows drew together, and she looked thoughtfully at her sister. "Are we doing immediate family-" she gestured with her hands, but Rob cut her off before she could finish the question.

"Everyone."

She bit her lip and continued to looked at her sister, "...Arlene...?"

Rob turned the paper around, showing Cuddy's mother's name written. "Very good."

"I wasn't entirely sure, I was about to say 'Mom'."

Rob picked up another name. "Good 'ay mate," she said in an Australian accent.

"Chase," was the immediate answer. Followed by an eye roll, "That was _so_ beneath you."

"Well, I'm sorry, I couldn't think of anything. I could start doing _The Rescuers Down Under_ if you want," she suggested sarcastically. She continued after a quick thought on her next draw, in an English accent, "It's really a groovy mutation."

"13."

"That's her name!" She exclaimed quietly. "I still can't remember," she shook her head. She pulled from the beanie again, and simply said in a monotone voice, "Beep."

Jessica rolled her eyes, "Foreman." Rob smiled cheekily.

Rob slid her next piece of paper into one of her front pockets. "Bite my shiny metal ass!"

Her sister smirked, "You."

The other girl returned the smirk, "I couldn't help it." She grabbed another one. It took her a long time to think of one. "Damn it, Janet!"

"Oh..." her head turned away, "um." She looked at her sister, "...Dad?" She recieved a nod. "That one was hard."

"I know," she smirked, holding the next name up to read. "A high end stripper, like, for governors, or athletes, but a stripper non the less." She nodded.

"Mom," she smiled.

"Correct you are sir." She scanned the next one,"Uh, Earth to Matilda," she started in a duh tone, "I was at a "day" spa. D-A-I-Y-E."

"Oh that's mean..." Jessica pressed her tongue to her molars.

"I don't care if it's mean. Answer."

She sighed and answered, "Trisha."

She read the next name, "We're not getting rid of the broad," she insisted in an annoyed tone. "I like her."

"Don," she rolled her eyes.

"Man, you're good at this," Rob remarked in mock surprise. "I was wonderin if I could ride you home-I mean, give you a ride home." The line was delivered with a trace of nervousness.

"Oh...Taub." Jessica kept her eyes forward as she answered.

"I love this game," she shook her head happily. A small smile pulled at the corner of her mouth as she read her next name. She exclaimed excitedly, "Did ya see it Dad? Did you see what I did?"

Jessica smiled, "Patrick."

Rob shrugged, "I couldn't help it." The corner of her mouth twitched, "Quit suckin your thumbs, and let's _light_ this candle!"

She chuckled, "Me. I can't believe I'm Cindy."

"Why wouldn't you want to be Cindy? You _are _Cindy. Huh," she paused, new name in hand, "'Cindy' and 'Cuddy' have the same number of letters. Coincidence? I think not." She worked her jaw back and forth, thinking after reading her next name. "This should not be that hard," she said to herself. "When I woke alive, I knew she still loved me."

Jessica smiled, "Wade."

Rob didn't say anything, just grabbed another name out of the hat. "I used to be a badass vampire, but love, and a pesky curse, defanged me. And now I'm just a big, fluffy puppy with bad teeth," she said in an English accent.

"Greg." She answered without a moment's hesitation, but a hint of a smile.

"What was you're favorite part?...Yeah, I liked that part too."

Jessica tried not to laugh, "Is that Masters?"

"That's not how the game works," Rob reminded.

Her sister sighed, "Masters."

"Indeed." She pulled the last name out of the hat and held the name out to her sister, "And the last one was Lisa." Rob looked at the team, who was seated behind her sister on one side of the table, "Any questions on how it works?"


	43. Let's Get Lunch

"Hey," Jessica smiled at Wilson.

She stepped up to counter and he looked away from what he was doing. "Hi," he smiled.

"Do you have time for lunch?"

He looked at her suspiciously, "Did someone do something illegal?"

She laughed, "No, I just haven't seen you much. We can just go to the cafeteria if you're busy."

"Uh..." he looked down at the papers in front of him, then nodded, "Yeah, I can take a quick break."

She smiled happily and linked arms with him, "It's on me. Consider it me starting to pay off Greg's tab." He chuckled and walked with her to the elevator. "You obviously don't understand what 'It's on me' implies," she told him when they were sitting down at a table with their trays. She gracefully slid into one side, smiling up at him. "When someone else is buying, you go all out. Have you learned nothing from Greg?"

"Well," he sat down across from her, "I'm not that hungry."

"Come on Wilson, _I'm_ eating more than you. A sandwich and water?"

"I'm just not hungry."

"OK," she raised her eyebrows and bit into her shiny red apple.

He smiled, "So, anything you wanted to talk about?"

She shook her head, "Not really, just miss you." She opened her salad and mixed in the dressing. "So, have you met Wade yet?"

He shook his head, swallowing the mouthful of water, "No, what's he like? Is he like Cuddy?"

"Eh, not really. He's not as smart as she is."

"Rob or Cuddy?"

"Either, but he's smart enough. No ivy league, but he's smart. Keeps her pretty well in line, and," she chuckled, "he walks with swag. Apparently, Strut=Swag."

"He her Cuddy or Stacy? He kind of sounds more like Stacy. Not that she's-"

Jessica laughed, "No, I know what you mean." She stopped smiling, and bit her lip like Cuddy did when she thought. "I don't know. Neither, I hope. For the same reason Mom tried like hell to keep Lisa away from him." She shook her head and waved her hand, again like Cuddy, "I don't want to talk about this anymore, it makes me feel not how someone should feel in the presence of Wilson." She shrugged, "You know you're Mom's favorite, and you know there's a reason."

"She does love me," he nodded. He sat up straight and looked at her with one eyebrow pulled in, "It's probably because I'm a hot slice of man."

"Totally," she agreed, nodding.

"I told her," he shrugged and opened his sandwich container, "she has to resist. I know I'm irresistable, but she must try."

"It must be hereditary, I often find myself thinking of you."

"It's only natural," he assured. "Natural selection is a powerful thing, I'm a Greek god really. An Adonis, lusted after by all women."

Jessica tried to contain her smile, "We are so weird."

"Yes," he agreed immediately, and Jessica laughed. "But take solace in the fact that, besides your dad and brother, we are the most normal ones."

"I'll toast to that," she lifted her apple juice and he touched his water to it. She smiled again, "I remember how _uncomfortable _my mom made your ex wives."

"Well, if you had someone like you mom acting like that with your husband, how would you react?" She nodded, considering that.

_Sadie was standing at Wilson's side in her entryway, with one arm behind his back and the other on his closest shoulder, Wilson was resting his hand on her lower back, and Cuddy was standing next to him. "You're my favorite," Sadie told him. She looked at Cuddy, "I love this man. I love him more than my husband."_

_"Right here, Sadie," Jeff said._

_She looked at him and nodded, "I know." She looked at him like she was annoyed, "We've known him how long? You should know I love him by now. But don't worry," she looked at him with a serious look, "I will always sleep next to you, though for how many hours, I'm not sure."_

_They smiled at eachother, Jeff put his hand on the back of her head and pulled her to him. She laughed and put her head on his shoulder. "Abuse!" Rob exclaimed over House's shoulder, her hands clasping each other around his neck. He had one hand behind him, sort of supporting her, with Jessica standing by his other hand. "So how long til your furlough is over?" The little girl asked Wilson. "Cause I don't think your lady would like you getting all conjugal with my mom. _I'm_ having mixed emotions about it myself. On one hand, ew, on the other, _two Christmases_!"_


	44. MacDaddy of All

Rob sat in House's outter office, her feet up on the table, crossed at the ankle. She had a big book in her lap, and a sports water bottle next to her chair. She sat, flipping through the pages with a thoughtful expression, it almost looked like she was glaring at it. Masters stood a few feet behind her, "Do you just, come in here when you're bored?"

"Yep. Here or Peds." She grabbed the bottle, pulled the top back with her teeth, and squeezed the sides so brown liquid squirted into her mouth. She swallowed bitterly, and put it back down.

"Was that soda?"

"Nope." She answered simply. "So you're leaving?"

"Uh, I think so."

She scoffed, "_That's_ a good response. I'm younger and I know exactly what I'm going to do."

"What's that?" She asked politely.

"Work for my dad, taking pictures. Simple, yet incredibly awesome."

"Why?"

"Are you kidding, why wouldn't you want to work for my dad? Also, it'll be extremely easy, and I have the ultimate job security. One, I'm fantastic, two," she threw her fist in the air, "Go nepotism!"

"You don't want to challange yourself?"

"That's what relationships, siblings, and math is for. Also decathalon training, but I'm too lazy for that. I suppose you're morally against me getting hired because I'm the CEOs' daughter."

"Where are they hiring you to?" House asked, limping into the office with his desk.

"Real estate." She answered. "But I've been doing some part time stuff with Emma when I'm on this side of the States."

"Emma?" He asked, sitting down.

"Sloan."

"Tell her I say 'hi'."

"Will do," she nodded. "You were right by the way, I like her."

"When'd you meet her?"

"Couple years ago. She was at the photoshoot when Dad was on the cover of some super pimp business men magazine."

"That was the name of the magazine, huh?"

"Oh yeah. I remember, it was called, 'Magazine for the Super Pimp Business Men'. The title of the issue he was on was something like, 'The Mac-Daddy of All'."

"Clever."

"Thank you." She put her hand down, palm up, fingers slightly curled, then brought her hand up and put the chicken on an empty spot on her thigh. Oddly, it settled down quietly, and seemed to looked at the book with her. "Who was that one girl you were in the ER with earlier?"

"She's talking to you," House told Masters after a short silence. "That was her friend, or roomm-"

Rob's head jerked up, then around, looking up for the first time, "You have _friends_?" She stared at Masters in utter amazement.

"I find that very hurtful."

"That's kind of the point," House said, looking back to whatever was in front of him on his desk. His cousin nodded, shutting the album and putting it on the table, before setting the chicken on the ground. She grabbed the bottle, because the chicken started pecking at it. "Can I ask a question?"

"...Yeah?" She asked impatiently after Masters didn't say anything.

"Why do you say mean things?"

She looked at her like she was out of her mind, "Because I'm mean."

"You're not mean to House-" she was interupted when a strangled laugh came out of the back of Rob's throat.

Rob looked at House, who was smiling as well, before looking back at Masters, her knuckles to her mouth, "No, go head."

"OK, maybe you're mean to him," Masters agreed.

She nodded, still trying not to laugh, "Maybe."

"You aren't mean to the team."

Again, she looked at her oddly. "I call Chase a whore every chance I get."

"But you always seem to be joking, with me you seem more serious."

"Well, I'm not joking with him. He's a whore, Foreman's a robot, Taub got the worst part of the Jewish gene pool, and you, are a girl scout." She continued past her into into House's office.

Masters turned to looked at her and said, "And you, are an insensitive, crude...bitch."

She saw Rob stopped abruptly, and looked at her cousin. She crossed her right ankle in front of the other, toe pointed, put her hands out to her sides, and rotated her wrists quickly as she bent slightly in a small bow. House gave her slow, heavy applause. The young woman turned around and pushed open House's door, she lowered her voice to a hoarse whisper, "If you would have done that earlier, I would have left you alone. Oh," she turned around, and dug into her back pocket, "here." She tossed a ball to House.

He looked at it when he caught it, "Thank you." She nodded and pushed the door open so she could walk back to the table.

She opened the book again and asked aloud, "Why are there so many of me sleeping?"

"Because that's the only time you let anyone else have the damn camera," her sister answered, opening the outter office door, and coming to look at the book with her.

"Oh, I thought it was because Mom liked to see me at my most peaceful to remind her why she didn't kill me."

"That was probably another reason," Jessica agreed playfully.


	45. That Was Abuse

The team came into their part of the office and looked oddly at three large books on the table. Chase opened the cover of the one at the end of the table. It said in loopy handwriting, _Years Teeny to Tiny, for Baby Girls. Then Some Pictures From Several Thousand Years Ago._ He flipped a page. He stared in shock at what he saw. There were only four pictures on the page, and only three of them interested him, but three was enough. The first was a House in his mid twenties, and a Sadie in her early twenties. She had her hands on his chest, his hands were on her hips, and she was bent backwards at the waist, looking at the camera, with House looking down at her. The one next to it was the same, except she was smiling, and he was looking at the camera, smiling slightly. The picture beneath that, he had two things to saw. 18-year-old Cuddy, and 80's hair. Again, Sadie was in the picture, standing next to the brunette, who looked looked really short next to the blonde. Chase never really noticed how short Cuddy was. It looked like they were talking to someone, Sadie was laughing, and Cuddy was smiling, biting her bottom lip. "Look at this," he pointed to his boss.

Foreman and 13 looked over his shoulder. "Is that Cuddy?" 13 asked.

"Wow." Agreed Foreman.

"Oh yeah," Rob came into the room followed by her sister, holding another book, "Lisa's a dime." She narrowed her eyes at House. "You're more like a nickel." He stood in the doorway to his office, with his hand propping the door open, he rolled his eyes. She rubbed her nose with the back of her free hand, "So yeah. That's Lisa when she was an 11, Mom was a 13." She looked at 13, "No pun intended. I rather think you're more a 9."

"You are so charming," Jessica told her with mock sincerity.

"Thank you," she nodded once.

"Why can't you go annoy your boyfriend?"

"Boxers, do this thing called "working out", so they can then kick ass," she explained patronizingly. "And they tend to do it more before a fight." She exhaled through her nose and admitted in the same tone, "He didn't come all this way because of how amazing I am."

"Hard to believe that someone wouldn't want to sit on a plane and cross the country _just_ to spend time with you."

"Hey..." Rob smiled at her, and waved her hand at her sister. She wagged her pointer finger at her, "That was sarcasm."

Jessica couldn't help but laugh. "Nothing gets past you slick."

She tapped her head with her finger, "I get my brains from my sister."

Jessica hit her sister in the shoulder with the heel of her hand, pushing her off balance slightly, "Shut up."

"Greg! I'm being abused! And I thought it was bad at your and Stace's house." She lifted her chin, "The only place I was respected was Wilson's...when his wives didn't try to poison my cheerios."

"Cuddy abused you?" He asked in a, 'come on' tone.

Rob laughed, "She did actually hit me once." She looked at Jessica, "Remember."

Her mouth opened, smiling wide when she remembered. "Yes!"

"You may have been metaphorically spanked by Lisa," she told House, "but I was literally. So we got it covered. And I was like, nine, before you go off on your male fantasies," she told the team.

"And I don't want to hear about if you _were_ literally spanked by Lisa," Jessica put up her finger to silence House when he opened his mouth to speak. "Just don't even go there."

_An: Wanna see an album...you know through words? Also, I know that was the set up for a flash back, but the only thing I could think of, Rob said/did something more "wow" than usual. I may actually put it up if you guys want._


	46. Oh, Albums Galore

"Wanna annoy Greg by going through old pictures of him _not_ being a miserable bastard?" Rob asked after House sat at his desk.

Chase and Taub's eyebrows went up. "Yes," the entire team answered.

She tossed the book in her hand to Taub, who almost grunted when he caught it. "Go nuts."

"How many pictures do you people take?" He asked, sitting down at the table.

"I'm an art student, duh."

"'Years Little to Small'?" 13 asked, reading out of another one.

Jessica shrugged, "My mom did that."

"Yeah," Rob agreed, "we also have one that says, 'Cute to Sexy'. It's us from like ten, to 16, or something like that."

Jessica's eyebrow drew together, and she looked at her sister, "You named that one."

"Your point being? We went from cute to sexy. Well, you and Don did," she qualified, "I was always sexy. Sexiest damn baby ever," she nodded. "Anyway, wanna see pictures of Lisa too? Pretty sure I could find an embarrasing one if I tried." Chase moved out of the way and pushed the book closer to her.

Jessica started to flip pages in the one Taub had, "I'm pretty sure the best one for Greg is-" she was cut off by House shoving her aside. He looked at what was written in the front, not finding what he was looking for, looked at the one in front of Rob, then one next to 13. He looked at what was written, then flipped a few pages. He snapped it shut, and held it up, looking pointedly at Jessica, then going back into his office. "Well, he found it."

"Are these girls you two?" 13 asked, looking at two girls with long brown hair pulled into ponytails sticking out of blue ball caps. Their head were down, showing whoever had the camera the backs of their softball jerseys.

Rob craned her neck, "Yes."

"There are two different names," she turned the book around. 1 House was on the left, 18 Warren on the right.

"Yeah, they made a jersey special for me," Rob smirked and leaned back in a chair. The team went through the pictures, having everyone look if they found something especially awesome, still wondering what House didn't want them to see. There was one of House sitting next to where a very young Jessica was standing, she had a hat with a bright blue ribon around it. They were leaning against each other, each with their own guitar, smiling. Another had Rob at maybe 6 or 7, with her legs around Cuddy's waist, her arms around her neck, and her head on her chest, asleep. There were a few all together of them at various things, sporting events, or science fairs, the first one they came to, was Rob (after the girls explained which was which) smiling smugly at her sister, holding a blue first place ribon to her chest, while Jessica glared, holding a red second place. The next was the same, but they were in shorts and t-shirts, with their hair up. The next, however, Rob was looking away, obviously rolling her eyes, with the red ribon, and Jessica smirking at the camera, with the blue. The next had one of the girls, and a boy around 13 standing in front of eachother, with their fists out, but they were too curled back for them to be serious. There were a few like that, with various people. Cuddy had her fist to Wilson's stomach, both smiling, then House with his giant fist out to his side on Stacy's cheek, then next to each other, Jessica looking back at the camera with an eyebrow quirked, one arm bent to her body, hand in a fist, and the other arm extended to a couple inches in front of, who was explained to them, House's crotch, the other was Rob in the same pose, in front of Wilson. "The only family to condone junk punching" Rob had said smiling. There was one of House, without his cane, and Cuddy next to a bar at someone's home, liquor in hand, smiling at each other. There was one at a bar in the hospital's lobby, with Wilson, Jeff, and House all in tux. House was in the middle with a drink, posing with an eyebrow raised, while the other men smiled, another picture, obviously from the same night, had Sadie, Cuddy, and Stacy, all in evening dresses, by the desk in the lobby, smiling down at the little photographer. The next to were similar, except behind House, Rob stood on the bar, surprisingly in a dress, then in front of Cuddy in the middle, Jessica was smiling. There was one of Sadie holding Cuddy honeymoon style on some grass, she looked like she was about to fall, then next picture showed them from behind, almost to the ground, then the next was them on their backs, on the ground, looking up at the photographer, which, if the huge shadow by the women was any indication, was House. In another, House was holding a very young, very wet Rob upside down by her ankle, looking at her strangely. Then in one of the albums, they came to pages of the girls sleeping. Chase actually tired to guess which was which.

"You?" He asked Rob, looking at a picture of a six year old completely passed out, her arms hanging off of House's shoulders while he held her. She shook her head. He was really bad at this. "You?" He asked Jessica, pointing to a picture of a girl a little older, being held by Cuddy, with her arms tucked between them. She also shook her head. "Who's this?" He pointed to a girl asleep in Stacy. They both looked at it, then pointed to Rob.

"As is," Rob started to look through the pictures, pointing out most of them, "those...I started that sentence incorrectly."

"Aw," Jessica said, looking at the one of Rob curled up in Stacy's lap, "you almost look innocent." Chase's head tilted to the side when he saw another one of Rob asleep on a couch, with Jessica crouched next to her, with an uncapped black Sharpie. She held it delicately, watching her sister's face intently. In the next picture, part of a black mustache had been drawn on the seven-year-old, only on the left side, Jessica was looking at the photographer. The next one was of House drawing a Hitler mustache on Rob. Then Jessica had the Sharpie again, finishing the mustache she had started. Cuddy was bent down on the other side of the sleeping twin, holding two markers out to Jessica, blue, and purple. Jessica was carefully filling in her sister's eyelid with blue. Then Cuddy was putting red lipstick on her lips, while Stacy drew, and filled in pink circles on her cheeks. A boy older than the girls replaced Cuddy and Stacy, sliding a clip with a bow into her hair. Two pictures of Rob looking sleepily at the camera, then rolled over on her side, sans the bow, asleep, concluded the story. "I got em back," Rob assured when she saw the team's faces.

"How?" Foreman asked.

Rob laughed, "Well-" but was cut off by a glare from her sister. "Sorry, been sworn to secrecy." She smirked, "But they don't mess with me in my sleep anymore. By the way, if I'm ever asleep in your view," she shook her head, "don't mess with me. Only my mom was smart enough to leave me alone, which is odd," she looked at Jessica, "you'd think Mom would mess with me, not Dad. And Wilson, but he wasn't there, I think he was having some marital issue, or something." 13 found something that interested them, House was sitting at his piano with his eyes closed. It was a simple picture, but they found it endlessly fascinating. Rob must have made a noise when she took it, because he opened his eyes and mouth. They found a picture in Cuddy's office, before it got remodeled two years ago, Jessica was sitting on her old couch, with books and papers spread out, writing, and Cuddy at her desk, working. There were several pictures of each the girls playing different instruments. The girl playing the violin, viola, and any other string instrument, including the guitar, was Jessica, and the girl on percussion (yes, even the piano), and brass was Rob. "Of course you play strings," she looked disapprovingly at her sister. "It's all propper."

"And of course you play brass and percussion. _The most_ obnoxious instruments ever made." She rolled her eyes.

"This is new," Rob pushed an album closer to Jessica. All of the pictures had been of them as little kids, but this one showed them in their late teens, or earlier twenties. It was taken from the front seat of a car, both girls were asleep, one's head was slightly forward, resting on her sister's shoulder, and the other's head was tilted towards her sister slightly, but sitting up straight.

"Which one's which?" Chase asked.

"Guess," Rob challenged.

He pointed to the one with her head forward after a few seconds, "You."

"Finally." She said.

"Mom must've taken this when we drove home after that trip," Jessica said.

They got to a section where everyone was in swimsuits. There was one of House from behind reclining in a pool chair by a big pool with a drink, in trunks and a horribly bright colored Hawaiian shirt, one of Wilson smiling and standing next the pool in a t-shirt and trunks, then a younger Jeff stood shirtless with his hands on his waist beaming. "Wait!" Rob flipped some pages, searching for a specific picture. She snapped the book closed quickly, "OK, it's there."

"What?" Taub asked.

"Awhile ago, one of my friend's was looking at this, and he found that section especially interesting, because he found the women I grew up around especially bangable. He found one of all three of them laying in the sun. Sorry, only for people that have either seen them fully or partially undressed." She raised an eyebrow and said in answer to questioning looks, "Wouldn't you like to know."

"Which one's that?" Jessica asked.

Rob held the album so only she could see the pictures, and pulled out the one she wanted, showing it to her. "Goes with the one of Greg surveying, but it looks like he's staring at Lisa, and the one where Dad pushes him into the pool. Oh," she pulled out two more, then tossed the book to Foreman, "that starts the part where we're all shoving each other into the pool. Greg tossed in Lise and Stace, they were pissed. It was hilarious."

"Oh yeah," Jessica chuckled. "You got one of Greg and Wilson trying to get each other into the pool, then Dad pushes Greg, right?"

"Do ducks weigh the same as witches?" She asked in a duh tone.

"Could Bron impregnate the Erie with ten good men and some climbing spikes?" She responded in the same tone, making Rob smile.

"You guys enjoy, I have to go," Rob announced.

"Me too," Jessica said. "Tear pages, and our parents will probably kill you." Rob nodded and followed her sister out.

_An: Had more, but didn't want it to get too long._


	47. Our Favorites

House sat at his desk, looking through the pictures in the book in front of him. He knew that this one didn't have specific years, it was just the favorites, some with only adults, because the "Years blank Through blank" ones were reserved for the youngins...that weren't as young as young anymore, and some of Rob's assignments. Art always was her favorite subject. He smirked when he saw a picture from behind of Cuddy bent over, digging through a box, with Don standing a few feet back, his head tilted to the side. He must have been 11. He smiled a real smile when he saw a few more of him, varying in age, not by much, checking out his mom's best friends. That was always one thing he'd always really liked about that kid.

_"Hey," Don opened the door to House's bedroom, already dressed and ready to go. The only one. His cousin was asleep on his back on the right side of the bed, his arms above his head, and six-year-old Jessica was half on his chest and stomach, her legs tucked by his ribs, Rob was next to her on her side, her head and arm resting on Stacy's back. "Guys!" They all jumped._

_House rubbed his eye and squinted at Don, "Why are you dressed?"_

_"Cause Mom and Dad are picking us up in like 10 minutes." He looked at them again, frowning slightly, his eyebrows drawing together. "Why am I the only one that doesn't sleep in here?"_

_"Cause in the morning, Stacy would have to file molestation charges," mumbled Rob, who was making herself comfortable even though Stacy turned onto her back._

_"Are you guys still coming into work today?" She asked the girls._

_"Yes," Jessica sat up and tried to rub the sleep out of her eyes. Rob just grunted._

_"Then get up. You guys OK if I leave you for awhile? Lisa's starting today," she hit House on the arm lightly, "remember?"_

_"Fantastic," he said, still half sleep, "tell her I say 'hi', and that she's a traitor."_

House almost laughed when he saw Wilson. He had been making pancakes, and was holding up the spatula, smiling and about to wink. House flipped for a few pages, seeing a lot of Wilson. He always had been one of Rob's favorite people. He chuckled when he saw a picture of shoes. It was the debut of Rob's toxic symbol sneakers. Her footwear consists of duck, and toxic symbol sneakers. He stopped smiling at the thought of 'Rob' and 'debut' in the same sentence, and turned until he got to what he was looking for.

_"This is your fault."_

_"Nuh uh, I'd like to blame you for this."_

_"Exactly! Key words House, you'd_ like _to, meaning you can't. Plus! She's related to you!"_

_"You're enjoying this!"_

_"I am not! I'd rather be at home! I'd rather be doing paperwork than this!"_

_Rob whistled, "Yo!" She had her camera on her thigh, "You know that thing, "Wives are for kissing, not talking"? Yeah, models are kind of the same. Models are for looking, not talking." She put her camera back to her eye and began clicking, "If I wanted you guys to talk, I'd write a book."_

_"Why do we have to do this?" House whined._

_She put her camera down again, aggitated. "Well I would have gotten Wilson, but he just doesn't have Lisa's legs. Couldn't pull off the dress."_

_She started taking pictures. "Why couldn't your parents do this?"_

_"Because they're busy, and you guys have great chemistry. Not to mention all the sexual tension," she mumbled._

_"I heard that!" Cuddy yelled. "He is the last man I want to sleep with."_

_"But he is on the list."_

_"She makes an excellent point Cuddles. So, you're place or mine?"_

_She whipped around, this close to hitting him, when Rob cut her off again, "If you bruise his face, and it effects my grade, I will make your life hell for the next week." Cuddy glared at him and turned around. "Now pretend to be happy damn it."_

_"I know your mother didn't give you license to start swearing." Cuddy said._

_"She said I can do whatever the hell I want as long as it helps the artistic process. Now we have to get this done before my lighting goes to hell." Cuddy glanced over House's shoulder at the setting sun. She couldn't believe how well Rob was doing at this. Somehow, she'd gotten them both to agree to pose, and about an hour before Cuddy was supposed to meet her at the park, Rob showed up with a white, knee length sundress, told her she wanted her hair down, with its natural curl, apply light make up around her eyes, and a shiny gloss for her lips. Cuddy had been surprised to say the least. When she was done getting ready, she met Rob and House at the park. Her jaw almost dropped when she saw him. His hair was brushed, he had slacks on, and a white button up shirt. It was crisp, and not like he usually wore it, there was no t-shirt underneath, and his sleaves looked like they were casually rolled up, but when she looked closer, she saw it had been precisely rolled. Rob had even gotten him a new cane, dark with a curved handle. He'd asked her if she'd also been dressed by someone over 20 years younger than her. "OK," Rob said, putting down her camera and walking over to them. "Lemme see," she took House's cane from him and held it in front of Cuddy's waist, then turned her around, and pushed her up against House, who smirked at her. Cuddy felt the wood of his cane being pressed to her ass._

_"Not the wood you'd prefer, huh?" House asked her._

_She glared at him, "You're right, I wish Jeff was here. Oh," she turned her head to look down at Rob, "s-"_

_"Just," she moved the cane to one hand, and moved Cuddy by her hips so she was standing against House's right hip, "stand there."_

_Cuddy looked back up at House, who was smirking, "If you had said that around anyother kid, her siblings excluded, they would still be scratching their head, asking what that meant."_

_"You're way too proud about this," she smiled slightly, shaking her head. She felt the cane pressed into her hip, then disappear, replaced by his hand._

House made a fist and let it fall softly next to the pictures. Rob had taken the cane away to get her camera, to take pictures of the unsuspecting models. Cuddy was smiling up at him with that small, but genuine smile, he looked down at her with the same expression. Rob had gotten two like that, before they realized she was taking pictures. She kept clicking, so there was one of them starting to look away from each other, then looking at her like deers in headlights. They let each other go. Cuddy took a step away. Rob only wanted one more picture, Cuddy held against him by his cane at her hips. Later, the sneaky little bastard told House that the going in she knew she only wanted the ones that they didn't pose for. He flipped the page, "Huh, symbolic." Sadie was about to roll her eyes, pulling Cuddy away from House by the wrist. He really hated it when other people were right.


	48. The Jersey

_An: I had another one ready earlier, but Rob got really mean. In her defense, she found out in person that Cuddy was dating Lucas._

Rob walked into the hospital and Wilson stared at her chest in bewilderment. She looked at him in confusion as she passed, "What?" He just continued to stare, speechless. So she just got into the elevator and went up to the floor the Pediatric wing. On her way there, she saw the hip swingy walk of Cuddy and sped up a little to catch up with her. "What's up Sweet Cheeks?" The Dean looked at her, rolling her eyes, then stopped abruptly when she saw her shirt. Rob took a few steps before she noticed, and stopped, turning to face her. "Why is everyone staring at my chest today? I know, I have a great rack, it was a gift from my mother's side, but a jersey's not going to do much for my cleavage unless the guy's _really_ into baseball. Or I leave the front open." She pointed at her, "And you're straight." She turned and walked away. She talked to the Peds kids for a half hour, mostly the older ones, she liked to reserve her patience for small children for people that prefaced her name with 'Aunt'. Or Rachel, she reserved her patience for Rachel as well. Then decided to go be an ass to her cousin, she would figure out how on the way up to his office. She saw that he wasn't there and went to sit in the outter office.

"You like baseball?" Chase asked. To which she nodded, it was a complete understatement, but whatever. "Yankees are good. They your favorite team?"

She looked at him like he was out of his mind, "What the fuck are you talking about?" He didn't respond, because she saw House come back into his office. She pushed herself out of the chair, and opened her mouth when she got to his office, but was distracted when he looked at her chest the same way Wilson did.

"What the hell are you wearing?"

"What? It's baseball season, I got tickets to a Sox ga-" she looked down at her jersey. A cry of horror came out of her mouth when she saw "Yankees". "That asshole!" She yelled angrily. Wade had been way too cheerful this morning after she'd gotten dress. And now she knew why. "That Yank loving-" she started to take off the jersey, and was about to throw it on the ground when her sister walked in.

"Whoa!" Jessica looked at her like, 'what the hell?'. Rob didn't have anything on underneath except her bra.

"Switch shirts with me," she held it out to her.

"No. What's wrong with yours?"

"That son of a bitch switch my Red Sox one with this abomination." Jessica tried to keep in her laugh. "Don't you dare laugh. It wouldn't be funny if I did this to you. Now trade me shirts."

"First, you're out of your mind. Second, put on a damn shirt!"

She just shook her head. "Don't be crazy," House said, throwing his jacket to Rob, who put it on, but only held the part over her stomach closed. "She can't wear that."

"Thank you." She looked at her sister, "At least _someone _cares." Rob left his office to find a scrub top, mentally making a note to put off being an ass until at least tomorrow, and to kill her boyfriend.

_"Did I miss anything?" Cuddy came through the front door, shrugging off her jacket quickly, and just throwing it to the floor._

_"It's about to start," Rob answered. She was piled on her parents' couch with her sister, cousin, brother, and Wilson, "Hurry up."_

_"Hey hey hey," Sadie got her attention, then handed her a beer and hot dog._

_"Thank you," she said quickly and slid onto the couch next to Don. The parents sat on the arms of the couch and watched with their relatives and friends, as the first Red Sox-Yankees game of the 1999 season started._

_"Next home Yankee game's when we're going to the stadium?" Don asked his parents, focused mostly on the television._

_"Yeah," his mom answered. "If Lisa's not too busy."_

_"Screw if she's busy!" House said, setting his beer on the coffee table so it would spill, plastic cups aren't very reliable. "I am not missing box seats."_

_"If you were better behaved," Cuddy said, "then I would _definitely _be free."_

_"I promise to be on my best behavior until after the game then."_

_"You're so selfless," Wilson and Jeff said at the same time._


	49. We Love Our Baseball

_An: Last baseball chapter, promise._

"Come on," Wade followed his girlfriend down the hall of the hospital. "It was a joke."

"Nope." She answered and kept walking, without looking back.

"You know they're not even my team. Angels? Ring a bell?"

She stopped quickly and turned around, "But you still like them better than the Sox. And it's not about that!" She turned again, rolling her eyes at the surgical scrub top she had on as she walked away.

"Then what's it about?"

She made an astounded noise, and turned on him again, "'What's it about?'? _What's it about_? It's only the biggest rivalry in all of baseball history!" She pointed at his chest, "And you switched my god damn jersey!" She turned again, and started walking.

"How was I supposed to know you wouldn't notice before you left this morning? You notice when _I _get a new shirt."

Again, she turned, "You distracted me! You had just come out of the shower, and you weren't wearing a towel!" Her eyes widened, and her jaw dropped, "Oh you bastard." She pointed at him accusingly, "You did that on purpose." She blinked, then shook her head as she walked away.

"Do House and I look like that?" Cuddy asked curiously as she watched them leave. Her, Jessica, and Wilson were leaning against the counter at a nurse's station, watching the couple.

"You guys are usually more entertaining," Jessica said.

"Though the baseball and nudity were nice," Wilson nodded as they continued to watch them.

"You're right, while some part of my body usually comes up, baseball's only ever come up once. Even then it was a baseball player."

"Hank Wiggim?" Jessica looked at her.

"Yes."

Wilson's eyebrow's drew together slightly, "The Red Sox sure come up more than any other team."

"That's because the House side of my family is _so_ Bostonian, they don't know what to do with themselves. And my grandpa, being one of the oldest living members and veteran, got control of the remote at major holidays, and taught all of the youngins that the Yankees are a bunch of bat toting opportunists that got lucky," Jessica told him, then looked away and shook her head, "or something like that."

Cuddy looked at her, "That _was_ funny."

She shook her head, "He used to let Rob say something really messed up when she was like six."

"As long as it was about the Yanks, or Commies."

"Or Democrats," Jessica added.

"I liked your grandpa," Cuddy said. She looked at Rob, the thought of how she wasn't six, and asleep, being handed off to her mother passed through her mind, and it gave her an odd feeling. "I would laugh right now, if, you know-" she looked at Jessica.

She nodded, "Oh yeah, I'd be on the floor. He knows how to get her."

"If you'll excuse me," Cuddy said, "I have to go deal with people freaking out that Rob was walking around the hospital in her bra, with the jacket just covering her stomach."

"You know why," Wilson said.

She nodded, "But I also have my mother to deal with."

"Oh...Good luck," Jessica said.

Cuddy nodded, "Thanks."

_"Oh my god," Rob looked up wide eyed as people moved an old arcade game out of a big van. She ran over to the van, to look up close._

_"You like it?" Her dad asked with a smile. Her grandpa ruffled her hair like he did his grandson._

_"Yes! Thank you Dad!" She hugged his legs, the only part of him she could reach, then hugged her grandpa, "Thank you Grandpa!" She followed the game into her house, and into the game room, where it was set down in the center of the room. "I need Greg," she said aloud._

_"This had better be damn important," he said when he came into the room awhile later. "Cuddy is by the pool, sunbathing. She apparently is worried about tan lines, and I'm waiting for her to turn over."_

_"One, she's not turning over with you, my dad, or my camera here, sorry to crush your dreams. Two, this is way more important than Lisa's back." He looked at her curiously. "This, is the advantage to not being a nightmare all the time," she stepped to the side._

_House's eyes widen. "Oh my god." He walked over to the arcade batting game. He looked at all the little figurine out fielders, and the point holes in the painted stands. He wrapped his fingers around the handle, his finger on the trigger that worked the bat. "Never have I been more proud of you or your father in your seven years." He pulled it, the little bat swung. "It's at the wrong house, but damn."_

_"We don't have a game room in Princeton dumbass. You've been to my house."_

_"Yes," he glanced over his shoulder down at her, "I've been to _many_, of your houses."_

_"Well, specifically, you've been to the one in Princeton that's not as nice as this one."_

_"Any house that gives women the reason to get half naked, is the better house."_

_"So, do you want to go pray that Lisa forgets people are here, or do you want to play some arcade baseball?" He looked down at her, and "you bitch" was conveyed through that look. She smirked and handed him a nickel._


	50. I Love You'

Rob came into House's office with a pissed off look, surprisingly, she didn't start yelling, she sat on his chair, leaning back, and crossing her ankles on the foot rest, glaring at a random point. House looked at her, confusion on his face. He turned his look to Jessica when she came in a few seconds later. She mouthed to him, "_He said 'I love you'_." His eyebrows went up in understanding, his mouth forming a small 'o'.

"Why do guys always have to fuck everything up?" Rob demanded. "_Though_, I have to give him props for coming up with a new, and creative way."

"What's up with her being angry?" House asked Jessica later.

She exhaled, "Not sure how to explain it. She's pretty difficult to explain." House accepted this with a shrug and looked back to his food.

"While we're on the subject, what was her not tapping anything about?"

She pushed a piece of lettuce with her plastic fork, "Her semi-celibate state was not entirely by choice."

"What do you mean?"

"In highschool, she'd make the boys wait, and every time she was about say yes," she shook her head, "they cheated on her, or broke up with her. Some guys were dicks about it, and she broke up with them, but usually...cheating."

"What does 'semi-celibate' mean?"

"...She didn't _completely _cut off guys." He looked down, then back up with a confused look. "_You_ were the teenage boy. I'm not sposed to know why the possibility of pregnancy has to be there to keep boys happy. How long do you think it'll take her to get over this?"

He shrugged, "You know her better than almost anyone."

"Yeah, but her relationship stuff was never easy to figure out."

He just shrugged again, and took a bite of his sandwich. "Do you have anyone trying to profess love?" He asked sarcastically.

"Nope," she answered, looking at her salad.

"But, you're at least getting some, right?"

She chuckled and dropped her fork, looking up, not at anything. _Just_ like Cuddy did. Jessica looked at him, "Why are you two so concerned if I'm getting laid?"

"You're family," he told her in mock sincerity, "we care about your well being."

"When I want to get laid, I know how to get sex. _Without _paying for it," she added with a smirk.

"_Now_." He warned. "And it can't be hard."

"No," she agreed. "Just hard to find a guy that isn't a jerk, that I would want to sleep with."

"That would be the bitch of it," he agreed.

"You are the only one cool with talking about us having sex of all the adults I know."

"It's probably because, even though you yourself, are an adult, you still refer to them as adults. And I always talked to you guys about how _you_ were going to have lesser men wrapped around your finger by just walking into the room, and Don would be a player." She laughed and shook her head.

"Don't you have the next meeting with Lisa and Arlene or something?"

He sighed, "You had to go and ruin this nice lunch we were having. Bonding and everything. And no."

"I'll help Lisa find you if you're lying," she teased.

Rob was reclining in House's chair with her feet on the foot rest, having been in that postion since her sister left. She had a pad and pencil. "Are you drawing hearts with his last name attatched to your first one?" House asked, in the tradition of them spending down time together, not paying attention to her.

"How would you like to go fuck yourself?" She asked in the same distracted tone. "Maybe go to the lovely village of Screw, in Off county. I hear it's nice this time of year. You could get a vacation home with Lisa." He looked at her briefly. She didn't look happy, she looked like partially hidden sad.

"You like him," he looked back at his desk. Understatement, and he knew it.

Her pencil stopped moving. "Yeah."

"Here's Romeo now." She looked up, and there he was. He stopped walking, still in the hall. She put down her pad and got up. House watched her walk to him. She looked at her boyfriend like a little kid that'd done something wrong. He sighed, then grabbed her right hand with his left. She put her head on his shoulder as they walked away. House found himself silently wishing that she didn't screw this up.

Cuddy leaned on a counter, her arms in front of her as she watched the young couple walk out of her hospital. Rob had told Wilson her boyfriend was being difficult, and how he was being difficult, and that had gotten to the Dean. She sighed deeply. She was happy that Rob 'really, really, really liked' someone, but it made her so sad that _that_ was how she refered to her feelings for him. And _why_, she did that.

_"How you feeling?" Cuddy asked Rob. She was sitting on a stool next to Rob in the hospital bed, who wasn't paying any attention to her._

_"I'm being pumped full of morphine, 'fine', is an understatement." Cuddy glanced to what the young girl was looking at. Jeff was down the hall a way, _screaming_ at House. "Is Stacy coming?"_

_Cuddy looked down at her hands. She took a breath and looked at the side of the girl's face, "She's two hours out, she said she'd come if you wanted her to." What had been silently communicated, but understood, was that Stacy would have come if she knew she wouldn't be kicked out of the room without getting a word in._

_Rob watched her mom placate her father, House still standing there quietly, using the counter of a nurses' station for support. She knew that his thigh hurt all the time, and she hadn't seen him take anything this morning. "I'm never going to fall in love," she said._

_Cuddy took a deep breath, then realized there was nothing she could say. "I'll tell her you don't want her to come," she said, standing, and straightening her skirt. Being totally ignored by the young girl._


	51. What?

_Jessica and Rob were in their kitchen, Rob had her feet up on the kitchen table reading a book, Jessica standing at the counter, flipping through a magazine. Their brother's girlfriend came in from the backyard. He brought her over so she could spend a little more time with his family, and hopefully bond with Jessica. He only had hopes for Jessica, because Rob had made it very clear to him that she'd rather put a gun in her mouth and pull the trigger. She really could not wait for her to leave. "What's that size of the average male penis?"_

_The twins brought their eyes up to look at eachother, slightly confused by this random question. Jessica did an eyebrow shrug and they both looked back at their reading material. Rob sighed, "As opposed to the female penis?"_

_There was a few seconds of silence. The twenty year old leaned forward slightly, and said in a low, astonished voice, "Girls can have penises?"_

_Rob's head shot up. She stayed quiet for a few seconds, then looked at her, seeing her sister looking up as Rob turned her head. She looked at Don's girlfriend, her mouth opened, then closed. She looked back to her sister and shook her head. She mouthed, "I don't..."_

"_That_, is my brother's wife and mother of my neice and nephew ladies and gentlemen." Rob said to the team, nodding, her forced smile turning to a look of disgust.

"That really happened," Jessica nodded saddly.

"She is a devious woman," Rob said after House had told her about Arlene. Less than half of her was laying on the couch, her legs on his coffee table, ass in the space between.

"I think I liked it better when you were ignoring me." House said as he limped into the livingroom with a beer in each hand. He set one on her stomach, then went around the table so he could sit next to her. "At least I got reprieve from you and your more annoy half's constant babbling about my love life." He clinked his bottle against hers, "To the several years after you moved away that I got _some_ peace. But then Wilson started annoying me about her."

"Yeah, Jessica told him about our end game of getting you two together right before we left."

"Where's your sister?"

"I dunno. Probably listening to Wade bitch."

"Ah," he grabbed the remote and turned on the tv.

"He's leaving tomorrow," she said. "Is it bad that I kinda want him gone?" She asked curiously.

"Nope. Completely normal," he answered seriously. He looked down at her, "That has to be uncomfortable."

She shrugged, "Eh." But when she started to slide down, she pushed herself up into the sitting position and leaned against the arm of the couch. She twisted the lid off and took a drink of her beer.

"So what's up with Don being married?"

"He knocked up this girl, they got married."

"Ah," he nodded, "they're respecting the age old tradition of marriage."

Her eyebrows drew together as she looked at nothing in particular, "She's blonde."

House blinked a few times, then looked at her, "What?"

"And younger."

He nearly choked on his drink. "_What_?"

"That's what I said," she agreed. "We were all very surprised when he started dating her. Though I suppose her ass was what drew him to her in the first place." She looked at House, "I have to _wish_ that his kids have the intelligence of their father. As the younger sister, I'm not sposed to to wish that."

"Is she hot at least?"

Rob nodded, "Yeah. I might have a picture. Plus she's 24, so that's a bonus in your book."

House's eyebrows furrowed when he heard Cuddy's voice, "Oh I love Greg, but if you go against a patient's wishing, you're calling her a liar. And if something goes wrong, _I_ end up in court, having to defend the big mean doctor, albeit with _dreamy_ eyes, who wouldn't believe the nice suburban mom. And even though his cane makes me melt, do the damn surgery."

About half way through that, Rob groaned, "I don't want to talk to you."

"Then don't answer it."

"But then she'll get all pissy." She pushed herself off the couch and went to get her phone. She answered it after the second, 'Oh I love Greg'. "What do you want?...I'm at Greg's...Would you like to come get me?...Yeah, didn't think so...I'll just come later, you don't need me at this moment...Bye honeybuns," she answered pepily. She smiled and sat back down.

"Who was that?"

"Stacy."

"What was with the ringtone?" Rob threw her head back and laughed.

_"Don't you have anything better to do than annoy me?" Cuddy asked tiredly. She was in her office talking to Rob on speaker phone._

_"Not for hours," Rob answered. "Stacy's like, busy and stuff. As is Wilson."_

_"I thought you weren't talking to Stacy?"_

_"Obviously, I'm talking to you."_

_Cuddy sighed, "You know what I mean, I thought you were boycotting communications with her."_

_"Oh, yeah, that's happening. I kinda answered out of habit. You'd always tell me to go annoy Stacy, Wilson, or Greg."_

_"For some reason, I thought you'd mature a little more once you were in your teens."_

_Rob laughed, "You're funny Lisa."_

_Cuddy rolled her eyes when she saw House coming towards her office, "Hold on a minute." She stood up and talked to House. While she did her fabulous impression of Stacy, Rob was recording it on her cell phone._


	52. Your Biological

Rob pushed open House's door and came in with a huge grin, "You will never guess what happened last night."

_Jessica sat at the bar while she waited for the drinks she'd been sent to get. She and her sister were out with some of their east coast friends, and Jessica offered to get the drinks so she could cool off. Dancing both got you hot, and hurt your feet if you were in "death heels". A guy sat down next to her. He looked at her, "Would you like to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind," he shook his head, "it's too long."_

_Jessica did a mental eyeroll. Draw back of being a hot girl. She turned to him, "Well I have a joke about my vagina. Oh. Wait," she put her hand out, "you'll never get it." She shrugged a shoulder, then took the four drinks from the bar tender, two in each hand, "Thanks." She stood up and nearly ran into Rob, who was significantly shorter in flats, duck sneakers as always. "Here," she held a drink out to her._

_Rob tossed back to the cosmo, dancing being the only time she accepted girly or fruity drinks, then reached for another one. Jessica moved her hand away and gave her look. Rob rolled her eyes, "Come on," she grabbed one of her sister's wrist and pulled her away from the bar._

_"No running!" Jessica exclaimed, balancing three drinks while in heels._

House came up behind Cuddy in the clinic and said, "I have proof that Jessica is your biological."

"Really?" She said without looking at him.

"Yes. I think Sadie wanted our offspring in the world without us actually hooking up." He said thoughtfully. "Did one of your eggs go missing a little over 22 years ago?"

Cuddy rolled her eyes, "You know, I think I did misplace one. And Rob looks just like you." She actually kind of did, same color hair in the right light, she and Jessica had his cheek bones, and his nose, except straighter.

"Then there you have it, Sadie stole our genetic information and created super children."

"Did she also grow them in a test tube?"

"Don't be silly," he shook his head. "Surrogacy of course. She had to explain where the kids came from, and just prayed they didn't have blue eyes."

Cuddy rolled her eyes and turned to go into her office, "Do you have anything important to say, or can I get back to work?"

He turned and watched her leave. House put his hand out, "Don't you want to hear the proof of paternity?"

_Cuddy sat down at the bar, wanting a moment away from her girlfriends. She looked around. Sadie must have had the same idea, she left about five minutes ago, and Cuddy hadn't seen her since. Cuddy laughed, she was one crazy broad, she'd met her this morning, and by the afternoon, Sadie had decided "we're going to be friends for a long time, probably indefinitely. Scratch that, almost _definitely, _indefinitely."_

_A guy a few years older than her sat next to her. "You have a great smile," he told her._

_She looked at him, "Thank you."_

_"Do you like jokes? Cause I would love to get that smile back. I have this one about my oenis, but it's too long." Cuddy rolled her eyes and sighed quietly. "But it could still make you smile."_

_"Well, I have one about what's in _my_ pants. Hm," she frowned slightly, as if realizing something, "you won't get it." She spun her stool around to leave, but before her feet even touch the floor, she saw Greg House standing infront of her._

_He was smiling. She didn't know he did that. She knew he smirked, she'd seen him do it. But he was _smiling_. His left arm was out to his side, he was letting it drop. "Can I buy you a drink?"_


	53. The Hot Twin

_House stopped in front of the dairy section of the supermarket under the instruction of his second oldest, second cousin. He rolled his eyes, he was pushing around a shopping cart while his 8-year-old cousin told him where to go, and what to grab. It was like taking tiny Cuddy grocery shopping. It was horrible. "OK, what kind of milk do you guys usually get?"  
He blinked at her, "There are_ types _of milk?"  
"Yeah." She thought everyone knew that.  
"Cow?" He guessed.  
"There's whole, 2%, 1%, fat free..." He continued to stare at her blankly. She sighed and pulled open the door, "We'll get 1%." She grabbed a gallon and set it in the cart. "Cereal."  
"Finally," he let out a sigh of relief, "something I know." She had been getting cheese, and pasta, and potatoes, and produce. She corrected him on propper_ egg _selection. He thought you were just supposed to grab a carton, open it to see if any were broken, then put in your cart, but no. Apparently you had to find the kind you wanted, and check to see if the bottoms were broken. But cereal, there was nothing she could say about cereal.  
"We're not getting all sugar cereal," she told him when they got to the cereal aisle.  
He looked down at her in frustration. "What is wrong with you? Why can't you be like any other_ normal_ kid?"  
"Normal's boring," she answered. "_And,_ Stace doesn't like sugar cereal everyday. Only on the weekends when we don't cook, and you know that. She'll be very cranky if every time she looks in the cupboard she sees cartoons staring back at her. Just get Honey Nut Cheerios, it'll make everyone happy, and you and Rob can add more sugar if you want." House sighed and grabbed a box of previously mentioned cereal. "Very good. Now get two more kinds." He shook his head and started walking. "Your girlfriend gets sick one time, and you have no idea what to do," she shook her head. "Have you ever shopped with_out_ Junior,_ for food_?" He opened his mouth, but she cut him off, "_Real_ food?"  
He looked off, then closed his mouth, "Remind me to sock whoever taught you to shop."  
"I don't think Mom and Lisa will react too kindly to that."_

Jessica poked her head out of the elevator to look out into the forth floor. It was pretty early. Early enough that non employees should't be in the hospital unless they were patients. Hallway was empty. She prepared herself, then started an odd walking sprint to her cousin's office. She let the door fall close behind her and reached into a desk drawer, pushing his extra pants and shirt out of the way, after setting a folder on his desk.

Chase watched one of the girls run out of the elevator into House's office, wearing nothing but pink, lace underwear. Holding a file over her ass pressumably to cover the thong. He saw her pull a plastic bag out of House's desk, and stick out her tongue slightly while smiling to herself as she held some black skinny jeans in front of her. Her eyebrows furrowed, and she pulled House's dress shirt out of his desk and start to put it on after pulling a small, black, spaghetti strap tank top on.

_I must've forgot to bring an actual shirt_, she thought while tying the shirt at her hips. She'd unconsciously stuck out her tongue like her sister was in the room when she found the spare clothes she'd put in House's desk. She smiled when she saw the clothes left there when she was thirteen. She started the near impossible task of pulling on her pants, nearly falling on her ass a few times. She had them to her thighs when she heard the door open. Her head jerked up and she saw Chase. "...Um..." She tried to find a good excuse for why she was half naked, nothing but the truth came to mind though. "I was playing Hide and Seek with Rob." He looked at her oddly. "I called truce so I could take a shower," an image of her in the shower flashed through his mind, "the bitch stole my clothes. Luckily," she held up the bag of clothes from over 9 years ago, "I have always been prepared for this. And my pants still aren't up completely," she said to herself and started tugging again.

"Why did she take your clothes?"

Jessica gave a huge sigh and sat when she finally got her jeans on. "Cause she's a bastard, and that's what bastards do." She cleared her throat and looked down. "I may have also glued her to the shower yesterday." He tilted his head. "She rubbed hot peppers on my lipstick! And not chilis, ridiculous habaneros, not regular ones. What was I supposed to do?" He chuckled. "Well," she stood, "I should probably go. While I packed clothes, I didn't pack a flat iron or makeup. Note to self for next time." She grabbed a rubber band off the desk, and said 'ow' when she put her hair up, then swished her hair a couple times. "See you later." He nodded and she walked towards the door. "Oh," she looked back, his eyes snapped away from her ass, "can you tell Greg that I'll bring his shirt back if he gets here before me?" He nodded, she smiled and kept walking, his eyes went back down. "Can you stop staring at my ass?" She called without looking over her shoulder. She waved, "Thank you."

"Your sister's pretty hot," he said later.

"No shit sherlock." Was Rob's reply. "Are you _just_ now noticing that she's the hot twin?"

"You guys are identical."

"I know I'm naturally sexy," she shrugged, "it's probably the Italian. But my sister puts effort into it. The only reason you wanted to sleep with me is because you thought I was easier, which is not the case. She's not a whore, just, she's slept with more guys, more guys have seen my naked. Any sane person would try to hook up with her."


	54. New Kind of Fairytale

_"-then the prince rescued the princess from the castle-"_

_"And then the stock market crashed, bankrupting everyone, and sinking the American economy into a worse state than the Great Depression, and then the British got all uppity and tried to get themselves back to the military and politcal super power they were until they got owned by the colonial Americans with the help of their allies, but the Irish, Australians, and everyone else they've screwed over got together, and somehow, the Welsh now run the world." Rob cut off Stacy's bed time story with. Stacy looked at her completely straight face withe her eyebrows raised. The girls were 7, and House and Stacy had come to visit them in their summer house, with Cuddy coming tomorrow (after Sadie threaten to chloroform her and "drag your ass there myself" if she didn't take sometime off work soon). The girls had requested a story to help them sleep, and Rob had been displeased with Stacy's._

_"You come up with the strangest things to add," Stacy told her. Rob smiled and shrugged._

_"You suck at telling stories," House told his girlfriend._

_She looked to her side at him, "You can do better?"_

_He went in between the twin beds to where she was sitting. He nodded for her to move, "Yes."_

_"No."_

_"Why?"_

_"Because your stories involve violence, drinking, and sex."_

_"But that's what make them good," he excused._

_"I might actually listen," Rob said._

_House smiled smugly, knowing he'd won. "Move."_

_"Why?"_

_"Because, I need to sit there if I am going to propperly tell the story. And if they lay down, it'll still be easy to see me." Stacy rolled her eyes, but stood up. He sat. He cleared his throat, slid his fingers through each other, and popped them like he was getting ready to play the piano. "OK, let's show her how it's done." He winked at Rob. "Once upon a time, there was an incredibly sexy knight, Sir Gregory the Magnificent-"_

_"He sounds gay," Rob said. "Can't he be like, Sir Gregory the Super Fly?"_

_Jessica chuckled, but he stared at her. "No," he refused. "Sir Gregory the All Around Awesome," he gave her an "OK?" look. "Lived in a far away land called "New Jersey". In this land, there was Fair Stacy, Lady Sadie of Knockers, Lord Jeffrey from the land of Over Compensation, a jester and part time medicine man Wilson that was there solely for Sir Gregory's entertainment, and Evil Queen Cuddy."_

_"Yay!" They both clapped and smiled to screw with him._

_He rolled his eyes, "There were also two midget twins. One was usually an ally to Sir Gregory, but had started deserting him for the jester, Evil Queen, and Sir Gregory's butter churner," Stacy rolled her eyes. "But the other was a minion of the Evil Queen," he looked at Jessica. "Forsaking family," he shook his head, "tsk tsk tsk." She smiled. "Anyway," he continued, "one day, the Evil Queen had a task for Sir Gregory to complete."_

_"What about Don?" Jessica reminded._

_"He was off at war," he shrugged._

_"He's twelve."_

_"He's, squiring, or something. But he mainly went for the prostitutes that hung out at the camps."_

_"Hey," Stacy warned._

_House and the girls smiled. "Now, Gregory, being all around awesome, could have vanquished the Queen, but she was pretty hot, and it gave him something to look at on the rare occasion where she threw him in the dungeon, or "clinic". Her lair, or whatever being right there."_

_"I'm sure Fair Stacy appreciated him thinking that," Rob nodded._

_"Totally. See," he leaned forward, resting his arms on his thighs, "Fair Stacy secretly wanted to hit that, and his interest made it more possible." Stacy looked at him, and leaned forward to backhand his back. "Ow!" He looked over his shoulder, "You're not letting my creativity flow!"_

_She glared at him and said slowly, "No. More. Sex."_

_He sighed and turned around. "Fair Stacy was in denial about her lust," he explained to them, and they _tried_ not to laugh. "Another reason he couldn't slay her was that Lady Sadie would get pissy, send a hit squad. Now, even though, Lady Sadie and Lord Jeffrey had some control over the Evil Queen, they refused to help a brother out, so, Sir Gregory was forced to take the quest of finding, and slaying a monster to save a guy. So Sir Gregory goes to his idea people, they don't get names, because they do very little anyway. He sends them on fact finding missions, and takes a well deserved nap."_

_"This is a boring story," Rob said._

_"Have you ever heard of rising action? Now shut up, annoying midget." He exhaled, "OK, speaking of annoying midgets, the slightly younger one came in and said, 'I'm bored'. Don't asked me why she was there at 12 o'clock in the afternoon when she was supposed to be at school, but she was. They decided to go into the dungeon and screw with the prisoners that had mild medical conditions. The midget was given a special coat that gave her special powers, and a pad that made people believe anything she said as long as she wrote it down, and sounded convincing. She then saw prisoners for their whining, and diagnosed them, acting insulted when people mistook her for a child, and seeing how many she could convince that she was a medicine man."_

_"Please tell me you didn't actually do that," Stacy said._

_He looked at her for awhile without saying anything. "...We didn't actually do that." He turned back around. "But after successfully convincing four prisoners, one of the Evil Queen's minions Brenda, who hadn't been laid in awhile, came in-"_

_"What did I tell you?"_

_"I didn't say anything about sex!" He defended._

_"'Laid' counts."_

_He sighed, "Sir Gregory wasn't entirely sure why he didn't slay Fair Stacy."_

_"Probably something to do with her being fair," Jessica suggested._

_"And her abilitly to churn butter," Rob added._

_Stacy gave her her "look", "Same goes for you."_

_"The midget and knight were taken to the Evil Queen's lair," he shrugged, "where they saw the other midget. And the Queen was standing behind her alter used for sacrifice, and she was bending over it, in hopes that her neckline would distract Sir Gregory. See, the Queen's rack had special powers, men that looked at it were hypnotized, and lost the ability to move, think, and speak_. But, _Sir Gregory's devotion to Fair Stacy was so resolute that his eyes did not stray from her face."_

_They heard the noise someone makes when they keep the laugh in the back of their throat. Jessica had her fist pressed to her lips and shook her head when they looked at her._

_"Like I was saying," he continued to look at her, "he didn't look down." He cleared his throat and looked at the wall between their beds. "So, Evil Queen Cuddy tortured him, and assigned him alone to go back to the dungeon for two more hours, and she kept both midgets there. Instead of going back to the dungeon, he went to see his jester. The jester was being annoying and not amusing, so he was glad when one of his people came back to report their failure. He ordered one of them to come with him when he rode out to seek the monster's lair, and another to spring the midgets from the Queen's lair."_

_"You took them to a-"_

_"It's a fictional story!" He cut off her outrage, even though this happened in early June. "You need to stop interupting," he told her irritably. "So, Sir Gregory's squire successfully distracted Queen Cuddy so the midgets could escape through the side door, and they met him in front of the castle, and mounted his steed. They rode off to the home of the guy and let themselves in. Sir Gregory sent the midgets to search for clues, along with his squire. And before long, the older midget found something. 'Sir Gregory,' she called. 'I've found something, and tis really gross.'. The midget had found a mouse trap, with a mouse. Suddenly, Gregory the All Around Awesome knew what was killing the guy. Everyone mounted up, and rode to the castle. The squire gave Sir Gregory his broad sword, and in one stroke, that also demonstrated his sexual prowess, Sir Gregory felled the beast, and saved the guy. Queen Cuddy was so impressed, she no longer required him to go to the dungeon. And also came home with-" Stacy flicked his ear. "Ow! OK! Fine, the Evil Queen did not come home with Sir Gregory, but she was thinking about it." He sighed, "And then Lady Sadie, and Lord Jeffrey took the midgets to the sunny kingdom of Pretension and Plastic for the summer, due to return in August. The End."_

_"I liked that story," Rob said._

_"That wasn't enough romance," Jessica said, laying down, putting her head on the pillow._

_Rob looked over at her. "Girl." She said as an accusation._

_Jessica smiled, "Yep."_

_Rob smiled and laid down on her side as House stood up, "You should tell that story again tomorrow night when Lisa's here."_

_Jessica chuckled, "That would be really funny."_

_"Sure thing," he nodded, moving the chair._

_"Night Stacy," they said, their eyes already closed._

_"Night girls."_

_"Night Greg," they said almost together._

_"Good night, sleep tight, don't let the rats bite." He turned to see Sadie leaning against the door frame._

_"That was a good story." The adults left the room. "It's interesting that you accused my husband of having a small penis."_

_In her room, almost asleep, Rob chuckled._


	55. Mini In The Making

_An: Lots of mini Jessica_

_"Do you need any help?" A sweet voice asked._

_Cuddy looked up from the massive amount of paperwork on her desk and saw a little girl in her office infront of the door. She was assuming it was Jessica from the lack of sarcasm and inappropriate comment, Sadie had also told her of Rob's blatant refusal to wear the school uniform. "What are you doing here?" Cuddy asked curiously._

_"Greg claims that he's not getting enough time with his mini." She started shaking her head, "I don't really want to spend time with Greg. We spend like three nights a week there anyway."_

_"Um, you can hang out in here if you want," Cuddy offered. She wasn't entirely sure how to interact with her. She hadn't been around kids much lately, god knows the first week of their relationship had been stressful, and Jessica and her siblings were very different from normal children. Cuddy could now say she'd been hit on by an 11-year-old, what was even weirder, was he was so smooth at it, if he had been in his twenties, she would have given him her number. "You can just sit on the couch until your parents come, or however you're getting home."_

_"I'll get bored. Do you need any help with anything?"_

_"Don't you have any homework?"_

_"I did it on the bus."_

_"I didn't know the bus dropped off around here."_

_"City."_

_Her eyebrows rose, "You took the city bus here by yourselves?"_

_"Well, Don's probably in Stacy's office doing assistant things, but, with a lot more cleavage staring than normal." Cuddy chuckled. "He'll probably do that to you later on in the relationship, but as for now, I offer my services. I promise my eyes will stay on your face." Cuddy smiled._

_"I'm afraid I don't have much for you to do. Most of this stuff I have to read and approve."_

_"I'll file it," she suggested. "Or I can just organize it if you don't want me in your file cabinets."_

_"How are you going to organize it?"_

_"I'll figure it out. I'll skim for departments or main request, then make piles. It'll clear up your desk and give you more room. You look stressed, I know it being messy makes me think I have more stuff than I really do." She started to push her hair back, and tied it into a ponytail, then swished her head a few times. "Greg calls it my 'going to work ponytail'," she told her and walked over to the desk. "Oh my god, I love your shoes!" She said._

_"Oh," Cuddy pushed her chair away from the desk and looked down at her shoes, "thank you. I just got them."_

_"They are so cute."_

_"I'd let you try them, but I think they may be a little to big," she joked._

_"Yeah," she agreed, "walking around in Greg's shoes presents the tripping possibility, but those present the tripping and falling and dying possibility."_

_"That they do."_

_"OK, it looks like you're done with that," she grabbed some papers and put them in a stack, then walked over to Cuddy's coffee table. She sat on the edge of the couch and started making piles. After awhile, she dug into her backpack and pulled out a granola bar, Jessica held one out to Cuddy, "Do you want one?" She looked into her backpack, "I have chocolate chip, marshmallow and chocolate chip, and oatmeal raisin."_

_"Sure. Can I have the oatmeal?"_

_Jessica took the box out and hopped off the couch. She held it out to the doctor. "Can you hide these until I leave? Rob will eat them all. She won't even be hungry, but she'll eat them."_

_"Sure," she opened a drawer and put the box in._

_"Thanks, my mom gave them to me cause I have soccer later." She walked back to the couch and sat._

_"You do soccer?"_

_"Mhm, and I have tennis lessons Saturday."_

_"You take tennis lessons?"_

_"Yeah, and I do softball, swimming, gymnastics, I like playing flag football, I can play basket ball, I want to do cross country and track later. Greg's been trying to teach me lacrosse, but I'm not very good." She rolled her eyes, "Which Rob loves to remind me of."_

_Cuddy had a slight smile on her face, "What do you do at recess?"_

_"Um...play Cops and Robbers, tag," she smiled, "I like Cartoon Tag."_

_"What's that?"_

_"Where if you squat down and say a cartoon character, no one can tag you. I like kickball too, and four square, and jump rope, and we have this ball wall, that's fun." She smiled, "Butts Up is fun."_

_"You don't ever relax during recess do you?"_

_"It is relaxing. And in Butts Up, I get to throw a ball at Rob without anyone saying anything."_

_Cuddy laughed, "That's a good enough reason to play something. Does she do as much stuff as you?"_

_"Yeah, but she's not going to be able to for awhile. She sprained her wrist."_

_"I just saw her last week. How did she do that?"_

_Jessica shrugged, "My sister has that talent. Singular to her. She broke her foot the first week of kindergarten."_

_"Doing what?"_

_"Um, she was trying to kick a boy, but he moved, and she kicked a pole." She shook her head, "She's weird."_

_"I heard that."_

_"Do you have a boyfriend?" Jessica asked after they were quiet for awhile._

_Cuddy looked up from her papers, and her much cleaner desk. "Not really."_

_"You're dating someone?"_

_"Yeah," and here she thought all little kids thought there was boyfriend or no boyfriend._

_"Is he cute?"_

_"Yes, he has green eyes and light brown hair."_

_"Would Mom like him?" Cuddy looked at her questioningly. "That's how I judge if I'd like someone. It's never led me astray, well, except for Greg." Cuddy laughed. "I didn't really like him at first, probably cause he opened with something like 'bite me Sadie'. But I like him now."_

_"He's kind of like that isn't he?"_

_"Only always," she sighed. "So, would mom like him?"_

_She thought a moment, "I think so."_

_"How old is he?"_

_"31."_

_"How'd you meet him?"_

_"Here, actually. He was here visiting his mother."_

_"What's wrong with her?"_

_"I don't know, he didn't say."_

_Jessica frowned slightly, "Mom won't like him."_

_"Why do you say that? It's not like she's against a man loving his family, especially his mom."_

_"He wasn't here for her, he was here for himself, and he doesn't want to tell a pretty girl what for. And, caring about your mom is always a plus."_

_"You really do spend three nights a week at his house, don't you?"_

_They heard a knock, then Sadie poked her head through the door, "Hey."_

_"What are you doing here?" Jessica asked curiously._

_"I got out early," she nodded, "it's good to be the king."_

_"Married to the king," Jessica teased, putting her backpack on._

_"Yeah, but the queen has more power anyway. Isn't that right Lise?"_

_"In my experience," she smiled._

_"And that's why you'll aspire to be the queen," she told her daughter._

_"But I already am."_

_Sadie smiled proudly, "That's my girl. You ready to go?"_

_"Yeah," she straightened up the piles, then walked over to her mom._

_"You were making trouble, huh? Bothering Lisa, and trashing the joint."_

_"Mhm," Jessica nodded. "I'm pretty sure she never wants to see me again."_

_"Good, because you are without a doubt _the_ most difficult child I have ever met."_

_"I don't know how you put up with me."_

_"Rob is my rock." Jessica laughed. The little girl walked passed her mom and stood in Cuddy's outer office. "Um, I will be stealing Greg soon, not physically, so if he claims something ridiculous, just tell him, 'Go Mini'." She laughed, "He will give you this petrified look, and do whatever you say for about a week."_

_Cuddy smiled, wow, House was going to watch a little kid play soccer. "Sadie," she said, stopping her. She looked back. "I was just wondering, this cute guy asked me out, should I say yes?"_

_"How'd you meet him?"_

_"Here. He was visiting his mom."_

_"What's wrong with her?"_

_"He didn't say."_

_She got the same look her daughter did, "Mm...Yeah, he wasn't here for his mom. He found out something contagious."_

_"Maybe it was just something embarassing," she said defensively._

_"Yeah, and what's more embarassing than crabs? I gotta go babe, see you later."_

_"Make sure she takes it easy!" Cuddy reminded._

_"She's not playing much today," Sadie assured, "she just wants to play a little." She turned and lifted her daughter up, who waved to Cuddy._

_"I like her, Mama," Jessica said, putting one hand ontop of the other on Sadie's shoulder._

_"Really?" She adjusted her daughter on her hip. "I am so glad. You know, she's one of my favorite people in the whole world?"_

_"I think she'll be mine too."_

_"If you're talking about Super Cleavage," Rob said, pushing herself off of the nurses' station, "she's already Don's favorite person. Eye candy, and he's liking the new flavor."_

_"Rob," her mom grabbed her hand, "please don't ever say anything like that again until you are at least 16. It's really creepy right now."_

_"Yeth Mommy," she said, faking a lisp._

_"That's what I like to hear," Sadie nodded. She stopped, and turned around, "Where's my boy?" She saw her little blonde mac talking to a girl about his age, pointing to something in her hand, and making her smile. "Don!" She called. He looked at her, and Sadie gestured with her head for him to come to her. He said something to the girl, then ran to his mom._

_"Don't knock her up," Rob warned._

_"Greg," she looked down, addressing her littlest, "you're not allowed to watch Overboard anymore."_

_Rob looked up and frowned, pouting her lip, "But Mom," she said in a bad Pee Wee Herman voice._


	56. Sex Goddess

_An: All flashback. Quick question, how would you guys feel about a sequel with, gasp, an actual plot? Lots of Little Jessica, so much Cuddy you may OD, and of course our two favorite asses (not Cuddy's, just so we're clear)._

_"Why do I have to do this?" Cuddy asked as she pushed herself up off the chair and stood where indicated by Rob._

_"Cause it's your turn," she answered. The preteen stood infront of the doctor and stared at her hair a moment. She moved it a few times, then let it be and took a few steps back. Today was Cuddy's last full day in California, and everyone was very disappointed. Rob and Jessica offered to call the hospital and say that she had been taken for ransom and would not be returning to New Jersey for the foreseeable future, but Cuddy declined. Now they were all in the backyard, and it was "diva time"._

_"Work it!" Sadie yelled and smiled._

_Cuddy chuckled and tossed her hair back dramatically, then threw her best model face to the camera. "Beautiful!" Rob said, adopting the photographer tone. "Diva!" She instructed. "Come on, I want to _see_ the superiority."_

_"But you can always see that," Cuddy smiled._

_"I want it exagerated! To a Greg level!_

_"I don't know if anyone but him can do that." House rolled his eyes._

_Rob gave Cuddy a few more directions before shouting, "Now sex goddess!" Cuddy's head tipped back and she _laughed._ As did everyone else. "Maybe Don would be better suited to tell you how to do that. Though he does think you're a sex goddess when you're in sweatpants."_

_"My girlfriend is pretty sexy," her brother joked._

_"Oh my god," Sadie said. "According to my parents, your soulmate is my son."_

_"I think I'll just forgo true love then."_

_"Cold," Jessica smiled._

_"Really Lise," Rob agreed, "are you seriously turning down true love? He's not _that_ ugly, is he?"_

_"And Rob's not _that_ much of an ass-"_

_"I'm not seeing sex goddess," Rob cut off her brother to criticize her model._

_"Then you're not looking hard enough," House and Don said in unison. House glanced over at his cousin, then put his fist out for a long distance fist bump, which Don completed._

_"He may not be your mini," Sadie said, "but he has your libido."_

_"Alright, I'm done with you," Rob dismissed Cuddy. "Greg," she turned to look at him, "you're up."_

_"Why?" He whined._

_"Don't you want to blow Lisa's sex goddess out of the water with your sex god?"_

_"I nominate Jeff to take my place," he volunteered his cousin._

_"Sorry, only I get to see Sex God Jeff," Sadie said. "I don't want to _seriously_ scar my children."_

_"But a little is fine?" House nodded._

_"Of course. You're the one always saying it's the parents' job to screw up their children."_

_House sighed, then with great effort pushed himself off the lawn chair. Cuddy grabbed his hand and helped pull him up, not letting go right away so he could get his balance. When he was stable, she bent down and got his cane. He took it from her and said, "I think I need a picture. You look so right with my cane in your hand. Especially in Sex Goddess mode."_

_"Greg, no more innuendo, or I will shove your cane in _your_ indo," Sadie threatened._

_Cuddy smirked and sat in his seat. "Wow Jeff," House stood where directed, "I didn't know she was into that now." He swung the cane to rest on his shoulders, and put his wrists on the end._


	57. Jessicaness

_An: Can you tell from the title that I've been uninspired?_

Jessica came back into the hospital later that day. Perfectly done up, and in a different outfit. She had another bag, and House's dress shirt over her forearm. "Hey," she pushed open the door to the outer office, "you guys seen Greg?"

Taub gestured with his head, telling her to look around. "That's my shirt," House said.

"Your powers of observation astound me," she said without an ounce of sincerity.

"No taking my clothes," he grabbed the dress shirt from her.

"Obviously I am too irresponsable a person to be trusted with a shirt for a couple hours," she agreed sarcastically. "Because I washed and ironed it, clearly a façade, created to hide that I drowned, and used heat to torture on inanimate object."

"She admits it, ladies and gentlemen!" He said with a serious, and dramatic tone, his eyes narrowed.

She rolled her eyes, "I'll see you later Greg." She turned and walked into the hall, headed to the elevator... or Wilson.

"You're right!" He called after her. "That corner's not going to work itself!"

"Psh, you couldn't afford me," she told.

He stuck his head out of his office and yelled, "Stop fraternizing with my exes! Traitor!"

She pushed the button for the elevator and turned, "Not their fault they're cooler." The elevator dinged open and Jessica stepped in. She gave that damn 'Victorious Cuddy' smile where one corner of her mouth went up much more and showed her teeth, "Your good taste works against you. But, I'm not meeting Lisa or Stacy, someone else."

"Are you picking up a professional athlete too?"

"Maybe."

His eyebrows drew together, "Who?" There was that damn smile again! She didn't say anything as the door closed, just that damn smile. He sighed and said to his team, "I miss the days when she thought about things other than guys." He shook his head started to go to his desk, but stopped, "Who am I kidding?" He asked himself. "She's always hit on guys."

_"Do you see this?" House asked Cuddy, staring at his tiny cousin with furrowed eyebrows from his place leaning against a nurse's station. 6-year-old Jessica was at the hospital for a check up, and _flirting_ with the doctor. House didn't even know that was possible._

_Cuddy gave an appraising look to the doctor, and said, "Well, can you blame her?" Mid thirties, black hair, green eyes, adorable smile._

_House looked at her for a few seconds, eyes trailing down once, before looking back. "Is that all women think about?"_

_She scoffed, "Yeah, that's _my _problem." She never took her eyes off the little girl. She was definitely flirting, and making the doctor smile. Which made the other doctor smile._

_"She may just be you yet," House told her, straightening up. Time to go, he was focusing on her just a little too much, and he knew a certain blonde bimbo look alike would be here soon and start bitching at him. There were too many bossy women in his life. It was Cuddy's turn to look at the speaker while being somewhat ignored. "She's already throwing herself at every guy she meets." She rolled her eyes and looked away as he looked at her face to see her reaction._

_House was shouldered to the side. "Oh, I'm so sorry!" Sadie said unnecessarily loud, and insincerely. "He being an ass?" She asked Cuddy, knowing the answer._

_"Only on the days starting with a consonant," she answered._

_Sadie hip bumped him hard, knocking him a step to the side, "Oh I'm so sorry." She chuckled and put a hand on his chest, "So clumsy today." She walked into the exam room where her daughter was, taking off her blazer._

_"Cuddy," he yelled, making her jump at the sudden loud noise, his eyes on the blonde. "You told _me _no strippers in the hospital!" Even with the eyes of everyone in earshot on her, Sadie started shaking her ass at him, then continued into the room, talking to the doctor. "It's no fun when people don't get embarassed," he pouted._

_"You could always go swab crotches in the clinic," Cuddy teased before walking away. He rolled his eyes and walked in the opposite direction._

_"Can he be my doctor?" Jessica asked her mom with a cute smile after the doctor left._

_Sadie laughed, "Sorry Sweetheart. Lisa's your doctor."_

_"Don's jealous," she smiled._

_"Definitely." Sadie walked out of the room._

_"Shouldn't I have a pediatricion?" She asked._

_"Endocrinologists are better," Sadie said. "Pediatricions can go fuck themselves."_

_Jessica shook her head and gave a little sigh, "You're lucky I'm advanced in my development, or I'd probably get in a lot of trouble at school."_

_Sadie lowered her voice and mumbled with a cocked eyebrow, "I saw some evidence of that development a second ago." The little girl smiled and put her head on her mom's shoulder._

Rob was sitting on the nurse's station counter in the clinic with people around her. She had her arms behind her with the palms flat on the counter, and her legs crossed. House thought she looked like a damn queen. He was, however, intrigued by the smile she had on her face, as well as the laugh from the crowd. She glanced over their heads and said something that made them part for her when she saw him. She hopped off the counter and walked to the doors to the clinic where he was staring at her like she was some new, previously undiscovered species. As soon as she got to him, the smile was wiped away, and replaced with a look of nausea. "Oh my god, I can't do this."

"Thank god," he sighed. "I thought you turned nice."

She shook her head, "Nuh uh, Jessica's making me do this. I took her clothes while she was showering. I did leave her her underwear!" She defended. "But she got pissed, and told me I either had to be nice the whole day," she paused, "or be a girl for the day."

"That is a tough choice." He agreed.

"I thought I made the right choice, but I don't think I can deal with these people all day." She lowered her voice to a hoarse whisper, that really wasn't that much of a whisper, "They're too stupid."

He shrugged, "Maybe she'll take it easy on you." Rob just shook her head. "Yeah," House shook his head as well, "no. She won't. Well, it looks like you, my friend, are screwed."

She sighed, "You think maybe if I take out her spark plug she'll give up?"

"Hell no," he said simply. "She'd just dress you up like a candy striper, and give you clown make up. That, or she reveals a little something from the past."

Her eyes widened, "She wouldn't."

He tilted his head to the side, "Wouldn't she?"

"Damn it. She would." She sighed and walked towards the main doors of the lobby, "Man, my sister's a bitch."


	58. Lisa Cuddy's Botched Penisectomy

_An: I can guarantee you never thought that that would be the title of a chapter._

_OK," Rob said after cracking her knuckles and drumming her fingers on House's keyboard, "let's do this."_

_"Botched penisectomy," House said immediately. He was sitting by the door with his feet up, and Bally held in both hands at chest level. He watched her type quickly, and asked, "How'd you spell that?"_

_"B-O-T-C-H-E-D, space, P-E-N-I-S-E-C-T-O-M-Y," she answered._

_"Why do you know how to spell that?"_

_She spun the chair to look at him, "Why do I know what 'hypocrisy' means?"_

_He shrugged, "Useful word to know. You know how to spell it?"_

_"H-Y-P-O-C-R-I-S-Y."_

_"You're weird."_

_"I'm smart," she corrected. Rob turned back to the computer, "How bout a boob job?"_

_"Yes."_

_She started to type. "Implants or lift?"_

_He attempted to reign in his proud smile. "Lift."_

_Rob was at the hospital because she may or may not have been suspended for fighting...again. Or maybe it was proving the substitute wrong several times in the course of 30 minutes publicly and "disrespectfully". But if she was going to be proven wrong by a third grader, House didn't think she deserved respect. Either way, both had happened at some point, and he had gone to pick her up. "Ass implants!" She spun quickly in the chair and looked at him with wide eyes._

_He didn't even try not to smile this time. "It would explain so much."_

_She smiled and started typing. "What could you get sued for?"_

_"Sexual harassment," he smirked. He looked for another option, "She could have come into the clinic with a "cold"," Rob smirked, "and maybe I didn't treat her with the "respect" she thought she deserved," the 8-year-old laughed._

_"How about affair with a patient?"_

_"Suspected affair," he said thoughtfully. "But I totally hit it," he assured._

_They went on like that until 2:30, when school let out and Rob had told House that they were going to pick up her siblings. She did a quick recap of House's new and improved record, staring none other than their own Lisa Cuddy._

_House gave her his half smile and said, "I do so enjoy our time together. Now save that and name it something that your sister won't look at."_

_"Already sent it to Wilson, I'll print it out in his office."_

_An: Short, and I'm sorry for that, but I was thinking about Cuddy's botched penisectomy ;) and I said, "Hm, I wonder who could have helped him come up with his fake file"."_


	59. Poker Night

_"Alright, you bunch of pansies," Rob said around the cigar she held between her teeth, "which one of you is finally ready to lie to me effectively?" She took a card from her hand and slipped it somewhere else into the small stack._

_"Robin," Sadie said after removing her own cigar from her mouth and holding it with the same flair one might hold a cigarette with, "we've talked about this."_

_"Sorry," she apologized, still looking at her cards, "pansies and my mother."_

_"Very good," she put the stogie back in her mouth._

_"It could've been worse." Her mother nodded in agreement, her attention on her own cards._

_Rob, her sister, her mom, House, and Cuddy were in LA playing a "friendly" game of cards while Jeff and Don ran errands, earning a "Meow, pftch" from House and Rob, which earned them a flick to the ear from Sadie and Jessica._

_"I think when you come to California you lose your cool factor," House told her, taking a drink of his scotch._

_"That's why I have a cigar," she held it out, "and I've been wearing sunglasses. Mom, where's my leather jacket?"_

_"You left it at your grandparents' house."_

_She groaned, "Now I have to wait til Christmas to be cool."_

_"You're leaving for Christmas?" House asked, returning his own cigar to his mouth._

_"Which takes precedent Greg," Jessica put her drink down, "atheistic second cousin, or Catholic grandparents?"_

_"I'm your dad's first cousin," he answered in a childish tone, accompanied with the appropriate sneer, which she returned. "And you make time for the Jew," he waved carelessly accross the table at Cuddy._

_"I guess we just like her more," Sadie shrugged. "Even though she killed our savior." Cuddy just rolled her eyes. Sadie smiled and winked. "And besides, we'll be in Italy, it's not like we're going to take her with us. My parents wouldn't know what to do with her." She scoffed, "They don't know what to do with you and my daughter, another religion on Christmas would just blow their minds."_

_"The Catholics are known for their history of religious tolerance," Rob nodded._

_"Damn straight! We are a loving and accepting people that definitely never discriminated, ever!"_

_"You must be exhausted living up to that Sadie," Cuddy chuckled into her wine glass._

_"I can't even imagine how difficult that is for you Mom," Jessica agreed._

_Sadie looked at her curiously, "What are you?" Jessica just shrugged._

_"Wow Sadie, I'm amazed to see what decisive and self aware children you've raised." House looked at her seriously._

_"Go fuck yourself," she told him simply before raising._

_"And I used to worry about saying 'hell' infront of them," Cuddy shook her head._

_"That's why I never got mad at," she rotated her wrist and pointed to with a flourish, "this one for swearing. Setting examples and all."_

_"Have you ever thought about mentoring children?" House asked in the same tone as before._

_"Will you just fucking raise?"_

_He drew in a deep breath and squared his shoulders as he regarded his cards again. "You know, this reminds me of that time when Cuddy and I-"_

_"Call, raise, or fold," Jessica interupted. "It's not that difficult." Her tone turned patronizing and she made as if to get up, "Do you need me to come help you?"_

_He looked at her with an annoyed expression, "Shut up. Call," he tossed their currency into the pot._

_"What?" He looked at Cuddy. "No extravagant raise? I guess he decided his cane was enough," she shrugged at Sadie, who closed her eyes and pressed her lips together to keep from laughing._

_"You have a small penis," Rob told her senior with more than a hint of amusement. He narrowed his eyes at her, she was supposed to be on his side._

_"That's not what your mom said last night."_

_"Of course," Jessica answered, "she was with my dad." Sadie tossed back her head and let out a very loud laugh. Cuddy had to put down her white wine so she didn't spill it._

_"I love my children," the blonde declared._

_Cuddy regained composure before raising. She put her arm accross the back of Jessica's chair, she was very happy with her mini. "I will see, and raise," she said and started sucking on her fudge bar._

_Everyone looked at Rob. She was sitting on her calves, holding her cards close to her face, all that was visible was the green bill of her dealer's visor. Slowly, she lowered the cards to her chin, "Did you know," she began equally as slowly, "that relative to its size, the barnacle has the largest penis of any animal?"_

_House sighed and immediately threw his cards to the table, "I fold."_

_Before anyone could follow suit, the front door opened and Jeff came in. "Hey babe," he started, "we-" Jeff cut himself off when he saw his daughter with a cigar. "Why do you have a cigar in your mouth?"_

_"Relax Dad," she took it out and hit the end on the inside of her forearm a few times, "it's not lit."_

_"I'm not _that_ irresponsible," Sadie defended._

_"What are you doing?" He asked the table._

_"Poker," Rob answered._

_"Why is there icecream on the table?" He looked at the large pile of white wrappers in the middle of the green felt._

_"Well, Lisa didn't want to play with money," Sadie said sheepishly, "cause she thought me and Greg would go overboard. So we used these." Quietly, House maybe the "meow, pftch" noise. Sadie glared and elbowed him hard in the arm._

_"In retrospect, maybe icecream wasn't the best currency," Jessica said, looking at her melting fudge bar._

_Jeff looked down at Sadie and held out his hand with an expectant look. Sadie looked down at the table and tapped her cigar on the edge of the ashtray before giving it to him. Cuddy swore that this couple had the power to make anyone feel like their child. He put it out, then held it in his left hand. Next he looked at House, who was very pointedly interested in his cards. After being ignored for longer than Jeff was accustomed, he yanked the cigar from House's mouth and very forcefully put it out in the ashtray before walking away._

_"It's probably cause he knows Little Jeff doesn't compare with Not-So-Little Greg," House muttered loud enough for the table to hear. And like that, they were back in the game._

_Don came in a minute or so later and took the predictable seat next to Cuddy. He grabbed a chair from the dining room table and placed it right next to hers in the large gap between House and Cuddy. "Hey," she said._

_"Hey," the 15-year-old responded and leaned to rest his head on her shoulder._

_"Do you want to play?" She asked. His reply was to shake his head._

_"He knows that he'll lose because he'll be too busy staring at your rack," Rob told her. "I'm sorry Don, you're not a barnacle." He looked at his little sister in confusion while Cuddy and Jessica rolled their eyes, and House smiled._


End file.
